I’m not getting married in the morning, but I could if I wanted to

September 1st, 2009 | Other Projects

Today’s the day same sex marriage becomes legal in Vermont. Those crazy (and crazy is a very mild descriptor in this case) Phelpses are in town to let us know we’re going to hell, the lot of us. My intrepid pal Lauren Ober, who writes for our local alt weekly Seven Days, is following them around and blogging about them all day. Below is a pic she took this morning. You can follow her blog posts here.

lauren's phelps pic

89 Responses to “I’m not getting married in the morning, but I could if I wanted to”

  1. ladiesbane says:

    Oooh, thanks for posting the link to her blog; I’m glad to be in touch with the event, even if via NutWatch. Hope she’s careful.

  2. Cathy Resmer says:

    Don’t fret — Lauren is back safely at 7D HQ. She’ll be posting more photos and video to Blurt, the 7D staff blog, as soon as she recovers from trailing the Phelps clan all day. Stay tuned…

    Find all of her posts at http://7d.blogs.com/blurt

  3. I know it’s not intended to be, but I can’t help finding YOU WILL EAT YOUR BABIES funny.

    YOU WILL EAT YOUR BABIES AND LIKE THEM OR YOU WILL EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST

  4. LA Steve says:

    Hey, shouldn’t that child be in school? Somebody call Child Services.

  5. Ellen Orleans says:

    Instead of eating your babies, you can now eat your same sex partner (no, not like that) with Ben and Jerry’s “Hubby Hubby.” It’s a gay version of Chubby Hubby, their ice cream with chocolate + pretzels.

    Here’s the link. And thanks to Tisa Bryant for posting this on her FB page. She suggested “Phish food” to honor lesbians….

    http://www.bostonherald.com/business/general/view/20090901ice_cream_company_fetes_gay_marriage/srvc=home&position=also

  6. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    Thanks to Ben & Jerry! Aren’t they always on the ball with their tasty trend spotting flavors! My personal favorite addresses the weight problems of primates with Chunky Monkey, the banana ice cream with walnuts and chocolate chunks.

    I bet them babies would be right tasty with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

  7. Acilius says:

    Three cheers for Vermont!

    The Phelpses are satire-proof, aren’t they? Even this guy couldn’t really top them:

    http://isiria.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/god-hates-signs.jpg

  8. Ready2Agitate says:

    oh too much! Fer real? Wowza.

    I’m working John Kerry’s town hall mtg. on health care reform tomorrow night (9/2 at Somerville High School in MA, 7pm), and expecting to see some crazy pple outside with signs.

    Bionic Bklynite, I found it funny too. Acilius: HAR-HAR!

  9. Kate L says:

    Kansas used to be known for Carry A, Nation, Amelia Earhart, Dorothy, and Dwight Eisenhower. Now, we’re known for the Phelps family and for “my” congresswoman Republican Lynn Jenkins (she of “looking for a Great White Hope to beat Obama” fame). Jenkins most recently laughed at a working mom at one of her town hall meetings who asked Jenkins why she was opposed to a national health service plan. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/01/rep-lynn-jenkins-laughs-o_n_273863.html

  10. Alex K says:

    **sigh**

    Nine years ago, in the town clerk’s office after being, erm, civilly united, some Vermonter in for that year’s doe-season license overheard that we were there to pick up our C.U. certificate and gulped audiblovisibly. But hey. He, and the state, got past it. (Well, at least he didn’t expire in conniptions then and there. So the above statement is in part wishful thinking. Vermont seems, however, verifiably still to be hanging in there.)

    I think that God is too busy to hate me. Us. So I, we, are hoping to be overlooked, more or less. Unless there’s some kind of class-action thing going on, in which case we may have missed a relevant memo here and REALLY be in trouble when we die. Guess we’ll find out when the time comes.

  11. Alex K says:

    Well, that first sentence above is a shame and a scandal.

    “Nine years ago, we were in the town clerk’s office after being, erm, civilly united when some Vermonter…”. Apologies to everyone reading this, including God, who if She is anything like me will be more offended by dangling modifiers than by GBLT lovin’.

  12. Kat says:

    Bionic, “You will eat your babies” is probably the most incredibly funny statement I’ve ever heard! You’re so right.
    Short of maybe the precursor, the dood who said “I know, the best way to get at those gayz is to say ‘you will eat your babies.'”

  13. It is indeed hilarious. Such a nonsequitor too, I actually don’t see how “You Will Eat Your Babies” is connected to same-sex marriage.

    I also think “Dykes Wed” should just be co-opted by everyone getting married, whatever their gender. It’s like, “And?”

    Love your friend’s caption on this photo: “This is what child abuse looks like.”

  14. Ginjoint says:

    I’m trying to figure out what the image on the “Dykes Wed” sign is – it looks like they put Rosie O’Donnell’s head on Jabba the Hutt’s body. And what’s in front?

    Jeez, I wish they’d come to my city. The possibilities for mocking and taunting! I’d love to run up to that woman in the blue hoodie, grab her head, and plant a big smackaroo right on her lips. *MWAH!!*

  15. NLC says:

    #13 (and other):
    In case anyone is wondering, the bit about “eating your children” is a reference to Leviticus (which is obscured in the picture above).

    In the passage in question God –having listed the blessings of obedience– goes on to spell out the smackdown that will result from disobedience (i.e. being made to eat ones own children has long been an example of an ultimate punishment. Think “Titus Andronicus”)

  16. ksbel6 says:

    Let me know when you will be doing that Ginjoint because I totally want to be there!!

  17. NLC says:

    Ginjoint #14:
    Concerning the contents of the picture that the kid is holding:
    If you have a Flickr account, you can click on the image and it will take Flickr site. From there you can click on the “All Sizes”, and then “Original” link and see a much higher-resolution version of the image.

    The “pink thing” in front is actually Ellen Degeneres’ head on a (butt-tattooed) pig’s body.

    (I’ll end my description here because, well, I’m pretty sure that that’s not meant to be “Jabba the Hutt’s body” they’re sitting on/in.)

  18. Aunt Soozie says:

    That poor child.. that is child abuse… it is Jabba the Hut’s body but also a pile of mud… and that isn’t a pig… it’s a woman’s body with a pig tail! Offensive on so many levels!

  19. meldyke says:

    @ RKB (#13) – I *loved* “Dykes Wed”, but because I read it as “Dykes Wed.” – as in Wednesday. Fags today, Dykes tomorrow!

    @ Ginjoint #14 – Please videotape and post that kiss so we can all share in the fun! And bring listerine.

    And here is a heartfelt “thank you” to everyone who offered their kind thoughts a few weeks ago when I posted that my family and I were taking my mom to hospice. She died on Aug 19, 8 days shy of her 63rd birthday, and I am glad she’s no longer suffering. Thanks for your support, here on one of the best-est sites the interwebs have to offer. 🙂

  20. brooke says:

    what i hate most about this (fred phelps) is that for the most part it pins those who are on the side of what is right and just against christianity. people like phelps call themselves christians and act as though they represent all of us. *sigh* and then people on the left react accordingly. *sigh* i wish people – on the left and right – would keep my religion out of this. i wish phelps would keep his nose out of the bible and that the left didn’t give into his bait. *sigh*

    congrats alison. i’m thrilled to bits for vermont. it’s simply beautiful.

  21. Suzanonymous says:

    Religion or not, it’s all about superiority feelings. I want someone to do a superiority dance (like Dana Carvey’s church lady) in front of them. LOL.

    I’m glad that I’m not the only one who looked at that and thought, “poor kid.” He could be learning, he could be playing, with this time. But no, this is his childhood instead.

  22. Ready2Agitate says:

    Meldyke, I read it that way too, at first: Dykes Wed. – free drinks till midnight, kinda like “women’s wednesdays” at the local gay bar.

    I won’t be kissing any right-wing wackos at the health care “town hall meeting” in Somerville tomorrow, though. It might cause me to smote my neighbor….

  23. Ready2Agitate says:

    …smite?

  24. Jessica says:

    Yikes! As a mom, I feel really sick to my stomach seeing the child holding such a revolting and hateful sign……Gah! When you see old footage of children at KKK rallies, their moms holding their bottles for them while the toddle around the fires, it sure is creepy—and this picture of the kid with the Rosie sign is just as awful to look at! Ugh! I agree—call child services!

  25. Heather says:

    The Phelpses came to East Providence, RI last May. The students and teachers outside their high school mounted a protest, including one boy who wore a Playboy type bunny suit. I wrote to the principal who was quoted in the article, saying he should be proud to have such vehement students.
    It’s hard to accept those who abuse the First Amendment, but we have to have some forbearance. We just don’t have to like it.

  26. Carl says:

    The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster drove the Phelps crew ignominiously from Peabody, Arkansas. Apparently a crew dressed as pirates, carrying signs explaining that God hates shrimp and cotton/polyester blends was more than they could take. (Pirates are holy to the Spaghetti Monster.)

    http://www.venganza.org/2008/09/26/a-proud-day/?cp=1

  27. Andrew B says:

    Alison, I’m glad you and Holly can get married, and I’m glad you’re sensible enough not to.

    One thing that puzzles me, though: shouldn’t Mentor have deleted this entire thread by now? Well no, of course not; but the Phelpses are nothing but trolls, and I don’t understand why we’re giving them this undeserved attention. I count two protesters in that picture, only one of them old enough to drive, and five signs. Who cares? The real, effective opponents of gay rights have nothing to do with the Phelpses.

    Kate, 9, and Kansas. None of us thinks the Phelpses represent you. (My representative Kansan is John Brown. I think you’re all murderous fanatics, but in a good cause.) That sign in the 7 Days blog about “go back to Kansas” is silly and self-righteous. That’s what bothers me about this whole thing. The Phelpses give every sane person an excuse for self-righteousness and self-satisfaction, which is never good.

    Personally, I think the God that holds us over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect, over the fire, abhors us, and is dreadfully provoked; his wrath towards us burns like fire; he looks upon us as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; and yet ’tis nothing but his hand that holds us from falling into the fire every moment. Just kidding. But it’s worth thinking about, every now and then, when we’re feeling a little too pleased with our own righteousness. (http://edwards.yale.edu/research/major-works/sinners-in-the-hands-of-an-angry-god)

  28. laura says:

    I have THIS VERY MOMENT received the art Allison gave out for a good-cause sale a couple of months ago. I am overjoyed and so so thankful–and I can’t seem to take my eyes off the art, not even to express my elation. Thank you Allison!!!!!

  29. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    Oh dear, I’m reading this thread and howling out loud. This is better than bacon. I definitely want to see Ginjoint’s smooch AND the pirates AND somebody toting Biblical signs that refute the Phelpses. Thank the Lord that Mentor is forebearing today.

  30. Kerry says:

    I was at the Episcopal Church’s 2003 general convention when Gene Robinson’s election as Bishop of New Hampshire was consented to. Phelps and his crowd and their vile signs lined the long paved entrance to the convention hall every morning, expecting bishops, priests, and laypersons to run their gauntlet. I’m happy to say that no running took place.

  31. Kat says:

    This is in terribly poor taste, but I can’t resist:

    “mmmmmmm baby……the other other white meat….”

  32. Acilius says:

    Isn’t it about time someone gave the Phelps brood a medal for promoting the rights of same-sexers? Many people hesitate to speak out for fair treatment of sexual minorities because they are afraid that doing so will make them seem weird. The Phelpses really seem to be doing their best to calm that fear.

  33. Duncan says:

    I’ve long thought that gay and pro-gay folks should pay the Phelpses to travel to their towns. When a rumor began to circulate a couple of years back that Phelps was coming to Bloomington, people got all wrought up and began organizing to counter the campaign of hate, shudder shudder. Some of which was going to involve violating the First Amendment rights of freedom of speech and assembly by the church that was supposedly bringing Phelps here. (Liberals!) Most of us won’t get up off our fat asses unless there’s a threat, real or perceived, so it was a letdown when it turned out that Phelps wasn’t coming or never intended to.

    The worst thing about the Phelpses, in my opinion, is that they make other bigots — the Pope, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell — look moderate and reasonable by comparison. I recall that Falwell once denounced Phelps as an extremist or something. I think this may be related to what Acilius just said.

    Besides, it’s Christians who eat babies, as the climax to their orgies. Roman pagans knew this well.

  34. Ian says:

    Hmmm, maybe this vid is apt in the context of this thread. Or maybe it’s just funny …

    Queerantine!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO9C9EG_btA

    The GAY is EVERYWHERE!!!

  35. Renee S. says:

    @ Ian!
    Cannot stop laughing! This is too much!

  36. Mentor says:

    [Standard policy is to let spam and other intercepted messages die a quiet death, but I thought that this was amusing enough to mention.

    There is a type of spam-generators that search the web for blogs, and if it finds a special word, posts a spam to the blog posing as a comment from a real person. It typically has a form like:

    Hi, I really like what you had to say about [blah]. I think you’d be really interested in this link. […]

    In any case, apparently triggered by the multiple references to “baby/babies” above, the blog’s spam-filter has, over this afternoon, intercepted several comments which were of this form but were basically ads for sites specializing in various baby-related items. Including, my favorite, a collection of “personalized Noah’s Ark” items for l’il folk.]

  37. meg says:

    This is the response thought up by Montpelier High School Students… fraking *GENIUS* of Love.

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=135939729154&ref=nf

  38. Feminista says:

    #34 Ian: Yes,Queerantine is a good,though rather heavy-handed,response to Prop.8 and the Phelpses. I saw in the credits it was filmed at North Hollywood H.S. Anybody notice the fake TV station name (KOC7)?

    I had more fun watching some You Tube clips of I Love Lucy episodes. Lucille Ball,a wonderful comedian with an impeccable sense of timing,also had some of the Marx Brothers’ wackiness and great facial expressions. Among my favorites are the grape-stomping,candy factory,and Harpo lookalike episodes (Harpo Marx appeared in the latter).

  39. Ian says:

    @Feminista(38): I suppose Queerantine is a tad heavy-handed on the satire front, but considering the wingnuts that prompted it to be made I think it’s remarkably restrained!

    When I was a kid the I Love Lucy show was run on TV in the afternoons (along with another favourite, Bewitched and the sitcom version of Baghdad Cafe). I loved the “funny lady” even though I can’t have understood any of the cultural references. That’s when you know something’s funny – that a kid in the 80s will laugh at it as well as adults from the 50s. I wish they’d do a re-run.

  40. DeLand DeLakes says:

    Ha ha, baby eating. I want that sign, along with one of those t-shirts from the wingnut protest of Obama’s commencement speech at Notre Dame this summer, the one of a leprechaun throwing a baby in the garbage.
    …and what the HELL is going on in that “Dykes Wed” picture? Is that a poodle I see?
    This little bit of good cheer slightly alleviates my political depression as of late. I’m sorry, first woman Speaker of the House or no, Nancy Pelosi sucks and so does Harry Reid. We need Congress to GROW SOME STONES and push through some actual progressive legislation before it’s too late. Although if Congressional Dems didn’t perpetually act like dogs who just got caught rooting through the garbage, maybe we wouldn’t have to worry about losing our fragile (if apparently useless) majority in 2010!

  41. Rosazamozny says:

    “You Will Eat your Babies”
    might be my favorite sign ever.
    seriously. I laughed so hard, I chocked on my orangejuice. Thank you Ms. Bechdel for always making me laugh.

  42. Hayley says:

    Someone please explain the “eat your babies” reference? I don’t get it.

  43. NLC says:

    Hi Hayley (42)

    See my message above (#15)

  44. Anna in Albuquerque says:

    I don’t remember what the Phelpses were protesting here in Albuquerque a while ago, but it was turned into a fundraiser by the protestees. People pledged so much per hour for every hour they picketed so the longer the Phelpses ranted, the more money the cause received! Brilliant.

  45. Calico says:

    Mmmmmmm, Babies!
    After all Kurt Cobain did sing that a baby’s skin smells like butter…

    The Phelps family is just like a traveling freak show to me-more amusing than dangerous. However, I know they can and do emotionally hurt and scare some folks, which is sad.

    And for the record, the MHS students raised a hella lot of money for charities.
    They even moved me to make a donation to Outright VT on Wednesday. Go Outright! : )

  46. Calico says:

    Oh, and speaking of butter…this may outdo bacon in a chocolate bar:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32665106/ns/today-today_food_and_wine/

  47. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Kat (#31)

    The other white meat! Brilliant. Maybe counterprotesters should hold signs saying, “Eating babies? Pass the Grey Poupon, please.”

    I wonder what guppies have done to offend The Great Deity. When I was a kid, I had a tropical fish tank. Whenever the guppies spawned, I had to use a net to get the baby guppies out of the main tank and into a small tank of their own to prevent the adults from (you guessed it) eating the babies.

    I never saw same-sex marriages among the guppies. Not even furtive encounters amidst the aquarium plants. Poor Ichthys, such a dull sex life.

  48. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Feminista (#38)

    I recall an interview with Lucille Ball where she explained the backstory of the grape-stomping episode. The Italian woman in the grape tank with her didn’t speak English, and after Lucy started tossing grapes at her, she got angry. So angry, that she started fighting and wrestling with Lucy for real. She had a chokehold on Lucy, and in the closing seconds of the scene where you see Lucy coming up for air and signaling for help, she really was signaling for help. The crew had to separate them after they turned the cameras off.

  49. Kate L says:

    Here I was in Kansas, feeling all sorry for myself because we’re not Vermont, when something happened just now that really picked me up and made my day! I was standing on a corner just off campus, waiting for the walk light to cross a busy street, when a young woman with a buzz cut and a hunting cap drove by in her pick-up truck. She saw me, and gave me a nod. I guess that’s the universal sign of recognition among the younger set? And, just a few days ago, I helped out at the “LGBTQ & More” table(the title tries not to leave anyone out) at a university activities fair. It just happened that the students at the table with me were all young lesbians, unafraid to openly be who they are. I can remember growing up in this town in the 60’s, when an openly lesbian couple a few doors down was shunned by neighbors into moving away. Gosh, things have changed so much that I may just start crying tears of joy! Don’t watch me cry! I’m really butch! Really, I am!!! 🙂

  50. noominal says:

    I’m starving. Dang! No babies in the fridge!

  51. Angela says:

    Totally unrelated to this entry… I just finished reading Fun Home A Family Tragicomic and I had to figure out a way to communicate to you that I am so very ecstatic that you exist in this world, such a very unique talent you have for communicating to the world your thoughts, feelings and life experiences!

  52. Kat says:

    So, should we take the baby sign as approval of lgbt families? I mean, there have to BE babies before they can be eaten, right?

  53. Kat says:

    Unrelated: Did everyone hear that Reading Rainbow (the PBS show for kids about books and stories) is being cancelled???? I’m SO MAD!

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112312561

  54. --MC says:

    Perhaps they mean dutch babies? I have that “Cartoon Cookery” comic book (Starhead, mid 90s) with a great dutch baby recipe from Holly Tuttle .. come to think of it, the comic starts out with a bible blaster running at Tuttle and shouting “I knew you sick pervs ate babies!” (Then she beats him up and puts him into a dutch oven with an apple in his mouth.)

  55. Ian says:

    @–MC: Ugh. I wouldn’t eat wingnut. I mean, who knows where they’ve been?

  56. Wizard Dill says:

    I especially like the sign, “In the middle of Phelps is a cry for Help!” Brilliant.

  57. Kate L says:

    Kat (#53)

    It is sad that Reading Rainbow was cancelled. I was always impressed by the connection that grade school kids made with the show, including calling the host “LaVar” (the long-time host of reading rainbow was actor Lavar Burton, who also played Kunta Kinte in Roots and Lt. Giordi LaForge in Star Trek: The Next Generation).

  58. Maple-flavored babies wrapped in bacon…

  59. Kat says:

    The NPR report about RR mentioned that its demise is mostly due to changes in philosophy about educational television. I.e. that the mechanics of how to read should be stressed, and that RR was for kids who already knew how to read, and was therefore not as important.
    On that I cry bullshit! knowing how to read is only a small part of it. Loving listening to stories and having adventures in fiction and loving reading are sooooo important!

    I don’t know about other kids, but I watched Reading Rainbow before I could read and it was just as engaging.

    It was also my first exposure to Lavar Burton. He was the main reason that I watched Next Generation.

  60. Kat says:

    oops, we’ve been spelling “Levar” wrong…..

  61. Kate L says:

    Kat (#59)

    I woke up the other morning to my clock radio playing the NPR report on Reading Rainbow, and that is also when I heard that it had been cancelled. Talk about Kat – Kate synchronicity! I find that I hear a lot more information about what is actually going on if I listen to more than just the cable news channels. This is esp. true if I lay off Rupert Murdoch’s Faux News. A recent poll of Americans actually found that the more a person watches Faux News, the less they know about current events. I should add that MSNBC is much more informative than CNN, HLN or Faux News, but my MSNBC signal seems to be blocked. Come on, msnbc.com, gimme my Rachel Maddow fix!!! Oh, btw, British DTWOF denizens… Rupert Murdoch also owns Sky News!

  62. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Kate L (#61)

    Murdoch (via News Corp) also owns the Wall Street Journal, Barrons, Dow Jones Newswires, Factiva, BSkyB, the NY Post, the Times (UK), all the Fox cable channels and film assets, Harper Collins publishing, etc.

    When the Bancroft family sold Dow Jones (publisher of the WSJ) to Murdoch, some of us regular WSJ readers feared the worst. One friend announced she would cancel her subscription, but she ultimately decided to give him a chance and still subscribes.

    Surprisingly, he’s mostly kept his paws off the news pages. The op-ed pages were always right-of-center and thus didn’t change noticeably after the ownership change. I have noticed that there’s nearly zilch about Murdoch and his businesses in the news pages of the WSJ and Barrons; there used to be some coverage of the financial hanky-panky goings-on in BSkyB. I suspect self-censorship by Dow Jones staff more than actual news tampering by Murdoch.

    He’s been trying to position the WSJ as a NY Times-killer. The WSJ website used to be subscription-only, now some of the content is free.

    The WSJ hasn’t cut staff to the degree that the NYT has, but mostly the NYT is the victim of its own stupidity. The financial finagling the NYT used to fund their spiffy new building is strangling the NYT Company, and the shift from dead-wood media to online media, along with the miserable eoonomic environment, are adding to their financial woes.

    I won’t be shedding any tears for the Sulzbergers (family that owns the NY Times). They’re a bunch of blood-sucking slumlords, news manipulators, and union-busters. Their finest newspaper days are long behind them. They promoted Bush’s illegal war in Iraq, and never once probed into the Cheney shadow government. If Daniel Ellsberg showed up today with what became known as The Pentagon Papers, they would never publish them.

  63. Ready2Agitate says:

    Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?

  64. Kat says:

    OOh, should I ever have to argue with wingnuts, I’ll use the Fox News watcher=lack of current events knowledge nugget.

    R2A: Bwah hahahahahahahahah!!! that’s adorable.

    I was apprehensive about having to go to a big family reunion-style dinner this weekend, with my 2 great aunts from West Virginia, both of whom are way conservative. Turns out I get to skip it because the dinner coincides with my friends Mike and Jon’s wedding! I do wish I could be a fly on the wall, though, when my mom explains that I’m not there because I’m at a gay commitment ceremony/wedding…

  65. Kat says:

    Kate L, here’s a Maddow fix for the morning (via Feministing):
    http://www.feministing.com/archives/017588.html

    looks like Justice Stevens might be retiring (if complete speculation turns out to be true)

  66. chriso says:

    I will say this, eating those babies DOES keep one looking young and radiant.

  67. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Carl (#26)

    I finally clicked through to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster link and saw the Pastafarian pirate counterprotest in Little Rock. Absolutely fabulous. Although the signs about Leviticus’ prohibition against wearing fabric blends should read “God hates wool/linen blends,” because polyester was unknown until the mid-20th century CE.

    Orthodox Jews still observe the prohibition against wool/linen blends, it’s called shatnez. Folks pay for experts to examine purchased garments for shatnez to ensure they are not in violation of Leviticus. Chasidic Jews (the folks in the black hats) tend to buy only clothes made within their communities or from trusted sources so they don’t have to go through the hassle of getting every garment tested.

    BTW, it’s not just shrimp mentioned in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Also forbidden from human consumption are animals which do not chew their cud, without cloven hooves, which crawl, and marine creatures which do not have scales and fins.

    Actually, God doesn’t hate these animals. YHWH just doesn’t want humans eating them.

  68. Kat says:

    but Hairball, all the yummiest animals are forbidden from being eaten according to YHWH! What’s a hungry girl to do??

    Also, is the wool/linen blend issue ever explained?

  69. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Kat (#68)

    The wool/linen prohibition boils down to “Because the Torah says so,” without a rational reason. There’s a bit of back-reasoning by the rabbis to the prohibition (related to the story of Cain and Abel), but essentially there isn’t a good reason for it, other than “so it is written.”

    More on shatnez here:

    http://www.aish.com/print/?contentID=48948976&section=/jl/m

    As for all those “tasty” animals, I suspect you have in mind only the pig, and perhaps shellfish. It’s not that hard to find tasty animals to eat and remain within the boundaries of kashrut, assuming one isn’t a bacon-a-holic. If you’re a vegetarian, it’s even easier to keep kosher (and there are fewer sets of dishes to deal with at home).

  70. hairball_of_hope says:

    I don’t know how I blitzed this amidst the talk of eating babies…

    This week’s Torah portion (parsha) is Ki Tavo [Deuteronomy 26:1 – 29:8]. (N.B. Jews read the Torah in a weekly cycle such that the whole thing gets read in one year, and the scrolls are wound back to the beginning on Simchat Torah, where we start again with Bereyshit [Genesis 1:1]).

    Anyhow, the parsha lists the good things that will come if the Israelites follow God’s laws, and the bad things that will come if they don’t follow the laws.

    Among them are the curses of eating one’s own children [Deuteronomy 28:53 – 28:57].

    http://www.jtsa.edu/PreBuilt/ParashahArchives/jpstext/kitavo.shtml

    I’d love to know how Sharon Rosenzweig portrayed this in The Comic Torah.

  71. cybercita says:

    love the new look!

  72. hairball_of_hope says:

    @AlisonAG

    New look… boxed comments are ok. What happened to the numbered comments?

    I don’t give two hoots about boxes, but we need those numbers back!!

  73. Dr. Empirical says:

    Like the new look, miss the numbered posts.

    My $.02

  74. hairball_of_hope says:

    Or should I be addressing Michael Heilemann?

    “Gorgeous design by Michael Heilemann”

    Nope, not without numbered comments it’s not gorgeous. Priority should be function over form, and guess what? They are not mutually exclusive.

    Try again.

    Also, the left/right justification in the comment boxes is annoying. Why do we need kerning in the comments?

  75. hairball_of_hope says:

    Why does the stylesheet have song lyrics in it?

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

    I’m half crazy all for the love of you.

    It won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage.

    But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

  76. Deb says:

    What was ignored in most of the reporting and in all the comments here is that in addition to attacking the LGBTQ community on the day we finally achieved marriage equality in Vermont, the Phelps crew also attacked Jews – protesting at two synagogues in Burlington and the Hillel Center at the University of Vermont. The Ki Tavo quote was primarily directed at those of us in the Jewish community, though we also got our own special signs. Then of course there are those of us who got to be the beneficiaries of both.

    There was a great event the evening before, originated by Rabbi Chasen from my synagogue – Ohavi Zedek – and planed with members from the Jewish, Christian, and LGBTQ community that brought together folks in solidarity against hate speech. Reminded me of the civil rights movement in the early to mid 60’s.

  77. Andrew B says:

    I realize these comments may be premature, as this may still be work in progress. FWIW…

    I too miss the comment numbers.

    I miss being able to navigate from each post’s page, instead of having to return to the home page.

    On the home page, the grey background is so light that the white “RSS” link in the right column is almost invisible. At least on my display, which is probably neither the best nor the worst that anyone here is using.

    I miss Alison’s self-portrait.

    I actually miss the turmeric yellow. Even if others don’t, this is a very cool blue and grey color scheme. Not happy, not inviting. Not representative of what seems to me to be Alison’s sensibility. (Obviously if she feels differently, so much for what seems to me. I hope I don’t have to add, but just in case, I don’t think Alison’s sensibility reduces to happy and inviting. That would be evidence of psychosis. Two related but separate points.)

    There appear to be no copyright statements, either on the home page or on this page.

    I hope this blog will continue to contain information about Alison’s in-progress memoir and other work, contrary to what the subtitle says the blog is about.

    Again, fwiw…

  78. Ydnic says:

    Whoops, looks like the furniture’s been rearranged! Or, more likely, we’ve been moved to a whole new residence, and the furniture hasn’t arrived yet. The kids are all running around through the empty halls and rooms, yelling to hear the echoes.

    This is the default layout for WordPress. I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot of rearranging and modifications in the days to come.

    Hairball, you made me go look at that style sheet. Seems that the default wordpress layout used to be called “Kubrick,” and Michael Heilemann is a big fan. That song is what Hal started singing in 2001 when Dave was disemboweleing him. He sang slower and slower, and it was more and more agonizing, as Dave pulled out the stops one by one.

    Oh, yes, welcome to your new home, Alison!

  79. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Ydnic

    Oh duh. I didn’t connect the Kubrick design and the lyrics.

    Not far from here is the Chelsea Hotel. Outside the hotel are brass plaques commemorating various former notable residents (Dylan Thomas, Sid Vicious, et al.). One of the plaques commemorates Arthur C. Clarke, who wrote “2001, A Space Odyssey” while living at the Chelsea. The plaque has a small icon of HAL 9000, and the words “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

    I made a pilgrimage to the Clarke plaque on the recent 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing.

    (Exits singing Joni Mitchell’s song, written while she lived at the Chelsea… “Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard…”)

  80. hairball_of_hope says:

    (… the aforementioned HAL 9000 shutdown scene, courtesy of IMDB…)

    [HAL’s shutdown]

    HAL: I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a… fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it I can sing it for you.

    Dave Bowman: Yes, I’d like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.

    HAL: It’s called “Daisy.”

    [sings while slowing down]

    HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half crazy all for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage. But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062622/quotes

  81. LondonBoy says:

    I misread “You will eat your babies” as “We will eat your barbies”, and wondered why they wanted to eat plastic dolls…

  82. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    Excuse me, but where are we, and what happened to our blog? No numbered comments, and Alison has completely disappeared? WTF!?

  83. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    And turmeric is so good for you they recommend eating it with a teaspoon! this is not good for living things, including Alison!

  84. freyakat says:

    Happy Labor Day, everybody!

    Gee, the new layout is so sanitized, at least to me. And I too miss the numbering of the comments…

    New thread: I was talking with a friend about my discomfort with the word ‘horny’, both because I think it is often used with a slightly nasty edge and also because it really doesn’t apply in an obvious and friendly way to my anatomy.

    I seem to remember a brief discussion of this a while back on this blog. If I’m right, can anyone point me to the posting?

    If I’m not right (and perhaps even if I am), does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions about a lesbian/woman-friendly alternative to ‘horny’?

  85. hairball_of_hope says:

    @freyakat (#??)

    Only discussion of horny I’ve found is the one from 2007 about someone’s 13 year old niece lying about her age on a MySpace page and announcing to the world that she is horny.

    Bad judgment, even for a 13 year old. Made me wince.

    http://dykestowatchoutfor.com/dtwof-episode-515

    (…goes back to cussin’ at the dopey new format without comment numbers, L/R-justified/kerned comments, and way-too-wide margins. Ick.)

  86. g-lo says:

    I upgraded the site’s software last night due to a wordpress vulnerability and database attack that is spreading. In the process some of the design enhancements of late may need to be re-implemented. Normally I prefer not to rush into these sorts of things but this blog was especially vulnerable and I chose to protect the content and database of the site over the design.

    Sorry for any inconvenience this may be causing readers. I imagine the site will be back to normal-looking soon and I appreciate your patience.

  87. bean says:

    @84: Adj. sexy, erotic, sexual, carnal, sensual.
    hot, horny, randy, rutting; passionate, lusty, hot-blooded, libidinous; up, in the mood.

    (from the online roget’s: http://machaut.uchicago.edu/cgi-bin/ROGET.sh?word=randy)

    I’m not sure why they include “lusty” but not “lustful”, which i think may be my preferred adjective.

  88. Ready2Agitate says:

    omg that thread with the 13-year old on myspace was in 2007? time flies! (Myself, I plan to use the term “rutting” when I’m in the mood 😉 )

  89. someone unimportant says:

    What disgraceful rednecks. Talking about being “patriots” and preserving American values, while letting our flag drag on the ground. Also, wish they’d man up, and take off the glasses so their co-workers, friends, and the rest of the world can see their cowardly homophobic faces. Eh whatever the case, I love your art Alison and I loved Fun Home, I hope to see more comics. You inspire me to keep drawing. /bow