DTWOF episode #506
March 20th, 2007 | Strip Archive
Here’s the episode I wrote before leaving for Miami. Today I’m going to try and figure out how to do the next one on the road in Albuquerque. I have to go find art supplies, then a Kinko’s or some place that can scan the drawings when I’m done. I’m not sure whether I’m going to manage it before my vacation officially begins on Thursday. Is all this backstory annoying you? Maybe I should just post the cartoons and shut up.
320 Responses to “DTWOF episode #506”
March 20th, 2007 at 11:54 am
are you kidding? you know we love to hear the backstory.
maybe the friendly person who offered to show you around albuquerque has a scanner or knows where to find one?
March 20th, 2007 at 11:59 am
oh, the musical score for the cell phone tune is excellent. i think i know exactly which cell phone ring option that is…
March 20th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Whatever happened Carlos, Jezanna, et al?
March 20th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I love Virginia’s curled up paw.
March 20th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Yes, it seems as if Carlos has dropped out just as Raf is moving into teenage hell, a time when a male figure might be, you know, nice. (My son and Raf are exactly the same age and go through many of the same ordeals in type if not in detail. Spot on!)
March 20th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Hmmm… She had the same expression on her face talking to Mo as she did talking to her father, yet her face lit up when Madeleine called. This bodes ill.
March 20th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
mo and sydney really don’t listen to each other at all. that’s so sad. and so true to life.
March 20th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
If you have your laptop, just buy a scanner, they cost less than $100 it will probably be less expensive, and certainly less aggravating than trying to get it done.
Good luck finding the right supplies on the road though. Maybe you should order online at blick or jerrysartarama and have it drop shipped to your Albuquerque address to be waiting for you when you arrive.
March 20th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I was beginning to feel sorry for Sydney again;then that Madeleine called. Damn her! Now she’s on my shit list again…
March 20th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Don’t worry! We have both art supply stores and Kinko’s in Albuquerque. Even some fairly near each other.
I love the frame with Mo and Virginia.
March 20th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Alison,
Did you change Sydney’s shirt after you got stranded?
Or was that some sort of ominous precognition???
and if so, why “Strand”?
I had some scanning done at Kinko’s and it worked fairly well but it was just typeface, not artwork.
And too funny Burque G…
“we have both art supply stores and Kinko’s in Albuquerque”…okay, yeah, but what about water? You got any water?
When I was in Santa Fe I said to my friends…”what’s that thing down there? that gulley where the plants are growing? underneath the street with the little bridge over it?
“uhm, that’s the RIVER Aunt Soozie…”
March 20th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I really liked living in Albuquerque, though that was many square miles of development on the West Mesa ago. The University Bookstore’s great, and has the marker set you lusted for in “Fun Home” plus acres of other useful art supplies.
Wow, how anaphrodesiac can you get? Though I guess some pwoplw want to be called Mama…
March 20th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
“Strand” for the Strand Bookstore in NYC?
Also for narrative strands, which lead off from one another in the digressions that Syd is supposed to be writing about?
March 20th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of ’strandED’ for our dear Alison’s travel horrors these past weeks.
Awwwwwww I feel bad for Mo, but then again, I’ve always identified with Mo for years.
March 20th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Buing her parents high-tech toys they can’t use is vary in-character for Sydney, but when did she ever care about recycling?
March 20th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Buying.
March 20th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Very.
March 20th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Doesn’t everyone identify with Mo? I know I do, though all we seem to have in common is we are both women who love our cats.
Which is more than enough.
March 20th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Its nice to see a strip from Sydney’s P.O.V. Mo calling about Virginia is clearly Mo calling about herself. I love the blissed out kitty posture. I don’t think one could draw a happier cat pose.
Verrrry interesting to see how Sydney’s face lights up for Madeleine.
I still am one of those Luddites who thinks Mo should get back together with Harriet. (I spelled it “Marriet” and had to backspace!)
March 20th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
yeah, i think thats strand for strand books. I think its actually this shirt….http://www.strandbooks.com/app/www/p/profile/?isbn=1399837842
March 20th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
about sydney recylcing stuff- it’s probably mo rubbing off on her. i also think that there will be some sort of shock in store for sydney regarding madeleine on that conference. or maybe not…
March 20th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Seems like Sydney’s Dad is still showing signs of a failing memory. And there’s an awful lot of wine bottles around her Mom’s place…
I think Sydney (or Mo?) may end up shouldering the caretaking for one or more of her parents.
Have we ever seen Mo’s parents in the strip BTW?
March 20th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I recall Mo once spending New Year’s Eve playing Monopoly with her parents, thinking “Wait until my therapist hears about this!”
March 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
““we have both art supply stores and Kinko’s in Albuquerque”…okay, yeah, but what about water? You got any water?”
Well, Aunt Soozie, we uh….well…no. Not so much.
March 20th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Another Luddite for Harriet and Mo! (H reminds me of my lover.)
March 20th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Well I guess that “blank window pane” Sydney saw, versus the “window pane full of life” was about as ‘foreshadowing” as one can get. LOL
Honestly while Harriet was a better partner than Sydney, what Sydney needs to do is learn to be content on her own once and or all.
Why does she need someone to be happy?
She is sincerely concerned with so much, yet all her “activist spirit’s energy” is wasted dealing with pointless relationships.
Pointless ONLY in that, she spends almost all her time with both partners trying to convince them her concerns and feelings are valid.
I personally am not a cat person, BUT if I had a partner who liked cats like Sydney does, I would never be dismissive of their concerns. It’s real for them, therefore if you care it should be real for you. Sydney’s concerns are clearly NOT obsessive, and should be treated with consideration, not dismissive contempt.
Harriet was a far more compassionate person, but she too did not “get” Mo. She felt Mo’s concerns were just “anxieties” when it truth they were not just “anxieties.”
I think they are a reflection of a person who is easily and deeply affected by things in life most people find easy to tune out and ignore.
I’d love to see Sydney link up with some sort of political dynamo. Someone who could channel her “anxieties” (as so many see them) into real action.
This person does NOT need to be a clone of Mo. Mo doesn’t need a clone.
What she needs is a driven focused individual, who sees the potential dynamo in her concerns, and is able to focus her in order to help her make the difference in the world she craves to make.
An ideal person would be one that combines the compassionate, caring side of Harriet with the focus and assertiveness of Sydney.
Such a person would quickly key in on Sydney’s strengths, and use them, while also providing the “tension for attention” that Sydney needs to maintain emotional happiness.
In any case, I’ve never liked Sydney. She reminds me way too much of the typical gay man who confuses infatuation with love and is obsessed with shallow material things and the next fuck. To the point, that the good things he has here and now are seen as obstacles to obtaining the next good thing and nothing else.
And to Sydney, that is what Mo is now, just an obstacle to the next romantic obsession.
If A.B. does decide to put Mo into another relationship straight away, I do hope that she decides to let Mo the “nice person” win for once. For I do think that Mo is the “nice guy/gal” who misses the best for herself, because she always puts others first, even when its to her own detriment.
As totally unlikely as it seems Clarice is the ideal “personality type” for Mo.
Like Mo. she shares an extreme concern for “bigger issues” to the point of obsession, but UNlike Mo, she is working actively on them.
It would seem like a mismatch initially, but a Clarice type is what Mo needs.
March 20th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Sorry I meant to type Mo not Sydney in the above post.
It should have said:
what MO needs to do is learn to be content on her own once and or all.
March 20th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
As for Sydney, Lois is the only one who could handle her.
It would be non-stop action both against each other as they’d try to bed as many women and win (what I don’t know, but considering how competitive and hypersexual each is… hehehe)
March 20th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
When I lived in Tucson I always found it fascinating how whole developments were NAMED for the “river” that was just a gulley of dry caked mud about 11 months of the year. And yet, the natives look at it and see a river.
Of course, when the monsoons would come, the gushing water would make up for lost time.
The rhythm of “water/no water” sort of reminds me of my own “paycheck/no paycheck” cycle of spending/deprivation.
Regarding Sydney, I must confess that she seems much more compassionate when she is around her parents. I can even indulge her delight at hearing from Madeleleine when it is put in the foreground of her rather stressful visit with her mother. She is certainly being baraged by everyone.
Maybe recycling is her way of controling her sanity. Nice neat buckets to sort all the bottles and cans into may perhaps relieve some of her alarm at being catpulted back into her childhood yet having to take on the role of the adult with her parents.
March 20th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Love the strip, and as usual the details.. this time especially the recycling bins with pinot grigio..
A musical question: does anyone know what the different cell phone tunes are?
March 20th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I just noticed the bottle in the first frame says “Pinot Gringo”.
March 20th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Dear Alison,
Since you asked:
March 20th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Dear Alison,
Since you asked… I for one love the backstory!
I used to wait 2+ years in between books, without reading *any* strips, just so I could read them all at once. That little self-inflicted, masochistic tease completely stopped once I found your blog. Getting to hear the backstory heightens the experience for me, and totally makes up for losing the “surprise” of reading an entire book’s worth of strips at once.
Many wishes for a great vacation!
:)
March 20th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
For those who are curious but don’t read music, this is what Sydney’s ring tone sounds like.
March 20th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I’m afraid I have agreee with ManFan regarding his opinion of Sydney, tho’ I have valiently tried to like her lo these many years.
I think Mo called because she lost one kitty and now she’s afraid she’s going to lose another–and guess what y’all the writing is on the wall for Virginia; if she was a litter-mate with Vanessa, she’s no spring kitty.
Here is Sydney’s mom sitting pie-eyed at the ‘puter; clearly needs her help; her dad calls, increasingly more confused and even though she’s a daddy’d girl, she doesn’t seem to care; but when Madeleine (who is using Sydney much more than Sydney’s using her, IMO) calls, she lights up like a Christmas tree. I hope Madeleine trounces on her heart, and Mo wises up and DTMFA!
March 20th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Yes, please get rid of Sydney. I’m tired of her spending, selfishness and her pseudo-academic approach to life. Bring back Harriet and Mo. Oh, and as long as I’m wishing here, I’d like to see Clarice and Toni back together.
March 20th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
mvc - that was amazing. That you knew what the ring tone was and could link us to it. Sheesh, technology! And kudos to Alison for knowing how to write it out.
March 20th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
mvc–
Too cool on the ring tone.
Survivor guilt for Virgina? I’d expect nothing less from Mo!
Regarding Sydney recycling. It’s illegal not to recycle in some towns and states. Also, the bottles let us know how much Sydney’s mother drinks and the newspapers let us know the state of the world.
Nicely woven.
March 20th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
shadocat-I’m scared for Virginia too. One of my friends had littermate cats, both orange boys, and they died 6 weeks apart from age-related kidney failure.
I’ve had up to 5 cats at one time, and am glad none were genetically related to any of the others.
I always figured Mo’s meezers were littermates, though I don’t know.
March 20th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
madeleine can’t be far away in age from sydney’s parents…
March 20th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Actually, I like Sydney a lot–not in a “she’s my best friend” way, but in a “she’s a great character” way. I think writing stuff for her must be so much fun.
March 20th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Yes, Alison can notate music alright! (It’s a waltz, but for the life of me, I can’t place what the name of the piece of music it is. Something old and classical; definitely not Mariah Carey or Babyface!)
Have we actually MET Madeleine? I can’t remember what she looks like.Although most of Sydney’s “colleagues” do seem pretty ancient. Maybe Sydney is older than she looks.
I agree with Cat Pimp, Virginia looks pretty happy–she certainly doesn’t look like she is experiencing any “survivor guilt!!”
March 20th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Shadocat — “DTMFA”? Dump the Madeleine-f^cker already?
March 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
The Nokia ring tone is an excerpt from Gran Vals by Francisco Tárrega.
March 20th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Re our meeting Madeleine, Sydney and Madeleine reunited at the MLA post Sydney’s radiation. They shared a, shall we say, well-punctuated elevator ride. Madeleine wore a khaki-looking skirt.
Sydney left Thea for Madeleine.
It’s funny. My daily checking of this blog (and its responsa, as Sydney might say if she did Judaic Studies) has always been a pleasure. It’s drawn me back to the DTWOF collections. Since I’m going through a breakup right now, DTWOF is so damn comforting. Looking at various characters over the years going “BWAH” makes me feel, well, not quite so alone.
Re Sydney recycling: Hard to imagine when we recall the early Sydney, but she did adapt her choucroute recipe thanks to Mo’s influence…
I sound like such a dork, I know, but I love these characters so.
March 20th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Isn’t it that default nokia ringtone? The one where you always wonder why the owner hasn’t changed it so they don’t get confused when others’ identical ringtones go off?
PS Mine plays California Girls. Sigh.
March 20th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Yep, the default Nokia ringtone is Gran Vals.
March 20th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
You need to go to Artisan for Art Supplies in Albuquerque. You can look them up on the web at www.artisan-santafe.com. They have stores in Santa Fe, Taos and Albuquerque. There is a map and directions on the website. I have a friend who does computer graphics in Santa Fe. I’m sure she can recommend someplace to go for scans in Albuquerque. I’ll write back with the info when she calls me back. Good luck!
March 20th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Sydney is hot.
March 20th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Alison, my friend Sara knows printers in Albuquerque but not someplace to get scans. She suggested trying Kinkos, as you planned to do. If you’re coming to Santa Fe she could surely do the scans and whatever else for you. I sent you an e-mail yesterday with my contact information. Hope you get to have some fun while you’re here.
March 20th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
OK I’m an idiot at times.
I used Sydney when I meant Mo. I’ve always had problems keeping A or B choices straight. LOL , My previous post must have seen completely inane. LOL
Here is the corrected post LOL
Well I guess that “blank window pane” Sydney saw, versus the “window pane full of life” was about as ‘foreshadowing” as one can get. LOL
Honestly while Harriet was a better partner than Sydney, what MO needs to do is learn to be content on her own once and or all.
Why does she need someone to be happy?
She is sincerely concerned with so much, yet all her “activist spirit’s energy” is wasted dealing with pointless relationships.
Pointless ONLY in that, she spent almost all her time with both partners trying to convince them her concerns and feelings are valid.
I personally am not a cat person, BUT if I had a partner who liked cats like MO does, I would never be dismissive of their concerns. It’s real for them, therefore if you care it should be real for you.
MO’s concerns are clearly NOT obsessive, and should be treated with consideration, not dismissive contempt.
Excuses like “being overwhelmed” “needing time for yourself” do NOT cut it.
Relationships mean your partner gets EXTRA consideration, not the same, not less.
Sydney’s willingness to handles Mo’s feelings re: her pet the same way she is handling recycling her Mother’s trash. Hmmm, I wonder if there was a point A.B. was making LOL
Harriet was a far more compassionate person, but she too did not “get” Mo. She felt Mo’s concerns were just “anxieties”
Mo is empathetic more than most, but unable to do anything about it except whine, because of the partner she chooses.
I’d love to see MO link up with some sort of political dynamo. Someone who could channel her “anxieties” (as so many see them) into real action.
Such a person would quickly key in on MO’S strengths, and use them, while also providing the “tension for attention” that MO needs to maintain emotional happiness.
As totally unlikely as it seems Clarice is the ideal “personality type” for Mo.
Like Mo. she shares an extreme concern for “bigger issues” to the point of obsession, but UNlike Mo, she is working actively on them.
It would seem like a mismatch initially, but a Clarice type is what Mo needs.
In any case, I’ve never liked Sydney.
She reminds me way too much of the typical gay man who confuses infatuation with love and is obsessed with shallow material things and the next fuck.
For those types, the good things he has here and now are seen as obstacles to obtaining the next good thing and nothing else.
And to Sydney, that is what Mo is now, just an obstacle to the next romantic obsession.
If A.B. does decide to put Mo into another relationship straight away, I do hope that she decides to let Mo the “nice person” win for once.
For I do think that Mo is the “nice guy/gal” who misses the best for herself, because she always puts others first, even when its to her own detriment.
March 21st, 2007 at 12:14 am
DTMFA is a dan savageism. it stands for dump the motherf#$%@#er’s ass.
March 21st, 2007 at 12:20 am
the newspaper headlines had me rolling!
have a wonderful vacation, alison!
March 21st, 2007 at 12:24 am
Cybercita,
Yup, that’s the acronym…but I thought the “a” stood for “already”.
March 21st, 2007 at 12:33 am
i stand {or in this case, sit} corrected.
March 21st, 2007 at 12:44 am
Honesty (like so many things) seems to begin internally. The layers of deception in this strip seem endless.
And yet, the impulse and hunger for truth is deeper still.
The headlines on the papers have a counterpoint in the news that’s all over the web: Impeachable offenses, at least one of which (the illegal leak of classified information) begins with an investigation and/or charges brought by the House of Representatives, NOT the DoJ or the judiciary. Pelosi can you hear me?
As I work tonight, I keep hearing Schumer’s words: Under oath. With a transcript.
Here comes the sun…
March 21st, 2007 at 1:46 am
We’ve seen Mo’s parents a few times — in the early strips, like the monopoly one and the one where she calls them after breaking up with Harriet; and then more recently when Mo’s sister-in-law is pregnant and Sydney gets in trouble for doing the crossword puzzle.
Regarding Madeleine, she isn’t necessarily that much older than Sydney, if she was a recent hire when Sydney was a grad student.
I’m betting that Sydney is going to find out that Madeleine has an ex-grad-student in every port.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:13 am
Doom.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:26 am
a few thoughts…
ManFan; I knew whatcha meant, and yes, I still agree with you…
Anonymous; I like your interpretation of “DTMFA” much better!
Regarding the recycling: here in Gawd’s country, I’d get a a big,fat ticket with an equally big, fat fine if I put all those bottles of “Pinot Gringo” and the like in with my regular trash, and not with my recycling.
I loved the headlines, but why do I have this sinking feeling that Bush and his cronies are going to get away with everything? (Today our local TV station interupted a perfectly good fight between Rosie O. and that Elizabeth Hasselbeak chick, just to show us Dubya and his bff Carl Rove getting off the stupid plane!)I’m just in a pessimestic mood—ignore me here…
March 21st, 2007 at 3:30 am
Omigod!–Just had a terrible thought! You don’t suppose virginia ate some of that tainted kitty food, do you???
(Oh, and where is my proof-reading fairy? I mean “a a”?)
March 21st, 2007 at 8:20 am
I don’t get what’s happening in the last pannel… is Sydney upset because her mom spilled the wine, or because she discovered something on her computer, or what?
March 21st, 2007 at 8:31 am
Giving the strip a second look, I vote for Mom having discovered something either in the browser history or in sent emails that was incriminating/embarassing to Sydney. It looks like Sydney is reaching to close a window, fast!
March 21st, 2007 at 9:00 am
It looks to me like Syndey is just trying to grab at the falling glass of wine before it falls into the keyboard…a futile effort.
I don’t know if it’ll make you feel any better Alison but I heard this morning on NPR that you were one of 100,000 people who did not get to go where they wanted to go in that stormy weather…2400 flights were cancelled. I guess that might explain some of the problem with getting through to the airline.
They also said that some forward thinking airlines actually cancelled in advance…after learning of the storm. Their passengers then didn’t get stranded for hours on a tarmac or midway to their destination or at some airport.
Unfortunately, that proactive airline wasn’t the one you were flying on…
So the Strand t-shirt…is it the Strand in NYC as 7th Sister proposed? Was it really a precognition, drawn before the actual stranding? That would be pretty interesting…
And, uhm, Burque G…I appreciate your honesty. I could send you some…Fed Ex?
March 21st, 2007 at 10:03 am
Sydney has blonde hair so did Alison’s ex! Is this why they split up…an affair!
March 21st, 2007 at 10:04 am
I wonder if dear Sydney would consider getting different ringtones for her various lady (and gentlemen) callers. Which begs the question: what would Dr Zeugma’s be?
March 21st, 2007 at 10:05 am
Regarding the last panel.
In the penultimate panel, Madeleine says, “say something to dampen my ardor…” The spilled wine will dampen (or soak) the keyboard, just as the word, “Mother,” will dampen Madeleine’s apparently still simmering fervor for Sydney. And maybe that it all that was intended.
However, it’s possible if the new browser now on Sydney’s mother’s machine contains Sydney’s bookmarks, one of them could be compromising.
Which word comes first in the last panel— “Motherr” or “oops”? It is nicely ambiguous and open to further interpretation of what exactly is happening, especially since the screen remains unseen.
I like the word “Pater,” as well (panel 7). My apparently rather pompous grandfather often signed his name that way. Maybe it’s less pretentious among the British, but in New Jersey, where I grew up, it sounded pretty damn stuffy.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:12 am
straightgirlfan, I think Sydney already knows that Madeleine has a grad student in every port. In their tryst at the MLA convention, they were discussing the names they’d given each other’s breasts, and Madeleine remembered them differently than Sydney did. “That must have been some other graduate student,” Sydney said. If Sydney and Madeleine were supposed to be a couple, they probably still would be; Madeleine also has a partner of her own, Lisa I believe her name is. I don’t think there’s any danger that Sydney will leave Mo for Madeleine, I don’t think it’s that kind of relationship, at least not any more. (If it ever was.) They can come together happily at MLA conventions, but I doubt either of them wants much more than that.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:12 am
I’m surprised Sydney hasn’t changed her ring tone. I guess she just goes through gadgets so fast she can’t be bothered to personalize any.
It would have been a hoot if she had and also had a special ring for Madeleine.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:16 am
Oh, and by the way — Alison, please feel free to post all the backstory you like. I’m interested, I think it’s a safe bet we’re all interested here.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am
Welcome to Albuquerque! We’re proud to have you visiting our great city! Art supplies can be found at Langell’s on Carlisle just south of Candelaria. One of the best art supplies stores in town. Kinko’s - there’s a bunch around. There is one across from the University that’s easy to find on Central.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:50 am
Uh oh- Virginia didn’t eat some tainted-gluten cat food, did she?
I confess that I’ve always loved Sydney- I think she may be the best character in the strip- but it does make me sad to see her cheating. Wow, good thing that my prediliction for wily, craven liars only extends to fiction and not to my personal life!
March 21st, 2007 at 10:58 am
Wow, DeLand — “Wow, good thing that my predilection for wily, craven liars only extends to fiction and not to my personal life!”
And I was thinking I might have a chance with you…
March 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am
I too felt increasingly sympathetic for Sydney right up until Madeleine rang. Been there, been there, yowza, don’t ever want to be there again. And Silvio, this Tucson river post is for you…
March 21st, 2007 at 11:35 am
Did I miss something? Will you be signing somewhere in our fair city? Or are you just passing thru? Try the green chile… heh heh heh.
Another Albuquerquean
March 21st, 2007 at 11:58 am
boltgirl,
THANK YOU! I needed a dose of Tucson mud! You have made me so homesick for your desert city! As I was looking at the pretty pictures of riverbed mud, I was thinking, “She must be a geologist,” and then discovered you are an archeologist. Of course!
I have bookmarked your blog and will now detour there on my way home from DTWOF from time to time. Please give the Santa Catalina Mountains a wave from me.
March 21st, 2007 at 1:52 pm
You can hear the Gran Vals played on guitar here:
http://www.nokia.com/BaseProject/Sites/NOKIA_MAIN_18022/CDA/Categories/AboutNokia/Company/InFocus/RingingtheChanges/_Content/_Static_Files/granvals_26s1-180kb.wav
It starts slowly, one note a measure: La, la, la… but around the middle of the file, there it is: tada da da, tada da da, tada da da daaaa…. Just like the score in Alison’s strip! DTWO4 is soooo educational!
Always the happy polyamorous gal, I totally understand why Sydney’s face lights up when Madeleine calls: Mo and “Pater” are family, but Madeleine is a crush. I think Sydney has been bringing up polyamory often enough that we can trust her NOT to leave Mo for the other M. That’s what polyamory is about: not leaving one person for another. It’s not about cheating, either. The only problem I can see here is that Mo didn’t exactly agree to open their relationship, did she?
I don’t think Sydney could have accidentally copied her bookmarks onto her mother’s computer when she installed the new browser, since that makes for a completely different file. So I’ll go with the wine-spilling interpretation, for its dampening effect, and because that keyboard is now be ruined. More taking care of Mom.
How’s the weather in the desert city? Still well below zero (Celcius) here in Montreal, and white with 2-days old, crusty, granular snow.
March 21st, 2007 at 1:55 pm
… that keyboard is now ruined.
March 21st, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I dig the Strand T-shirt, but boy am I pissed at Sydney. Is her dad having memory problems?
March 21st, 2007 at 2:22 pm
That keyboard could be saved if it’s immediately disconnected before anything can short out, then run under a tap to flush out the wine. Leave it plenty of time to dry, preferably open it up. It’s worth a try before it becomes yet more landfill. You do all know about Freecycle don’t you?
March 21st, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Before I begin my rant, let me first qualify myself: I am a monogomous gal.
However, I also know that doesn’t work for everyone,and if you’re a polyamorous person, I respect that.
What I don’t respect is dishonesty. Sydney is doing this behind Mo’s back. She’s cheating, btw, with a woman who possibly has sex with several other women. And the last time I saw Syd and Mad together, I saw no evidence of any “safe sex” materials: doesn’t she care enogh about Mo (or herself fo that matter) to use some protection?
I really was beginning to sympathize with Sydney; her messed up family, and her cancer–those experiences seemed to have made her a little more empathetic towards the feelings of others. But I guess I was wrong. She is only kind to those to she can use: her oncology nurse, because she treats her, her partner because she supports her, and serves as some sort of convenient whipping boi, her old (yeah I said it-both meanings!)partner, to satisfy her sexually and act as sort of sustitute parent.
I’m sure she won’t ever leave Mo, because, hey, why would she? A good doormat is hard to find.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Speaking as a professional doormat, I hope Shadocat’s comment is good news for me !
March 21st, 2007 at 3:32 pm
I suppose it’s safe to assume that the one thing Syd could say to dampen Madeleine’s ardor would be ‘Mother’…
March 21st, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I’m sure Mo has never had the conversation with Sydney where she agrees to polyamory. If she did, she wouldn’t hear the question anyway, since this is a couple where each partner has their own script running too loud to hear what the other is saying, much less thinking.
I still think Sydney’s face in that last panel reflects something her mother is reading on the screen. I wouldn’t put it past Sydney to have already been communicating with Madeleine on her mom’s new computer. But maybe Mom has some secret of her own.
Regarding the keyboard, somewhere I heard that you could put a keyboard in the dishwasher. I was always dubious.
I did once spill a whole glass of red wine on the keyboard and it was never the same, but it may have been my anxiety and paranoia coupled with an aging computer.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:52 pm
by way, Sophie, thanks for lovely “Vals!” (Is that you playing the guitar? There is no end to the revelations on this blog about the talents of our fair readers!)
March 21st, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I’ve heard that you can dishwasher keyborads, but I’d worry that keys would gte knocked out and clog a drain, killing keyboard and dishwasher both.
I’ve saved many a keyboard by washing it under running water, then drying for about 2 days. Dry upside down so the water drips out.
March 21st, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Completely off-topic: Alison, since you’re such a self-confessed dictionary geek, what do you think about McDonald’s running a campaign against the Oxford English Dictionary to get them to remove the word “McJob”?
Here’s the Chicago Tribune story.
Thanks as always for the strip. At various times I’ve empathized with most of the characters, but there’s more of Mo in me than anybody else. I feel like I learned how to dress like a real dyke from looking at the DTWOF characters!
March 21st, 2007 at 6:27 pm
I just got into the strip within the last year. I’m trying to catch up on ALL the various storylines. But, how the hell did Mo and Sydney get together?
And why hasn’t Mo left her yet?
March 21st, 2007 at 6:33 pm
BobbyG– this isn’t probably the place for suppositions. It’s about the art, after all.
I’m worried about “Mother’s” drinking. That’s an awful lot of red she seems to have downed in one week (is that how US recycling works?).
Love the detailing and the expressions. At the risk of sounding persnickety, the corner of panel 4 might need filling before final publication.
Oh persnickety, when will I abandon you?
March 21st, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Anyone else get a flashback to Sydney accidentally spilling a can of celery soda on her keyboard when Mo was about to open the “Games” folder? (apologies if someone already mentioned it)
Actually I’m a tad baffled by the last panel, cause it seems equally likely that “Motherr!” was at the wine being spilled as it is a reaction of something on the web browser.
March 21st, 2007 at 7:08 pm
I also really like Sydney and it took me a while as I can be kind of reluctant for change. Sydney seems to always need to have some “other” (job, person, shopping) in her life to allow her to be in a relationship which makes her flawed but I think pretty real.
Also, I saw the last panel as about the drinking but I am often wrong in my interpretations…
March 21st, 2007 at 7:45 pm
I see no ambiguity in the last panel. Check out Sydney’s eyes. She’s looking at the wine glass, not the computer screen. Mom’s “Oops!” follows Sydney’s “Motherr!” because it’s an excuse to Sydney: “Silly me, another mistake, ha-ha, but you’ll fix it, won’t you dear?”
And it’s white wine Mom is downing in gulps like straight whiskey, not red. I like Pinot Grigio. Now that it’s become trendy enough to be a joke in DTWOF, I might have to switch to something else. Rats!
Ah, the woes of being a knee-jerk oddball!
Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith Floss Forbes: If you don’t know the tune, sing tenor.
March 21st, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Alert. Alison Bechdel has posted a new video to her youtube account (abechdel).
A day ago.
I guess this post sadly answers the are-you-sick-of-the-backstory question.
Wot a loser.
March 21st, 2007 at 8:25 pm
I can so relate to the partner who projects all sorts of impossible-to-verify emotional states on the pets. Oh how that rings true — and slightly heightened.
(And let me simply second the “DTWOF strip as balm for the brokenhearted” idea.)
March 21st, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Hi Maggie-
Heh, yeah, I always seem to adore the “bad girl/boy” characters in fiction- I read Wuthering Heights this summer and just about swooned over Heathcliff. This preference also carries over to one of my favorite comics, Y the Last Man: my favorite character is Hero, a gal with murder and just a little bit of madness on her conscience. I have always loved Syndney for her exquisite nastiness- I suppose the reason why I can like these characters is precisely because they are in the recesses of fiction, and I don’t have to deal with them personally.
March 21st, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Sydney and Mom are both looking directly at the tipping wine glass…I don’t see anything ambiguous there either.
March 21st, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Nah, it ain’t me playing - this is right on Nokia’s website.
March 21st, 2007 at 11:52 pm
We had measle littermates - he died at 16 - she made it to 23. So it ain’t necessarily so that they go at the same time.
March 22nd, 2007 at 12:36 am
I agree — the tipped wineglass is just a reason for Sydney to say “Motherrr!” while on the phone to Madeleine. The requested something to dampen her ardor.
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:24 am
I’m with Duncan and Sophie on Sydney and w/ Jana and straight grl on the wine spill / last panel. Nothing ambiguous there.
And the above two are, I think, very related.
On Sydney: I’d put money on her having *some* clue that Madeleine has an ex-grad-student in every port / conference.
And Sydney has openly expressed her wish to be poly. I think it’d do her good, in fact, to have an ex-mentor/’Mama’ in every port or so as well.
From what I’ve seen, ’sexy-Mama’ - ex-grad-student relationships don’t work super well as primary relationships. The ex-grad gets jealous of the cat, or baby, if they decide to have one; and Mama’s needs don’t get met. Long-term relationships seem to work better with people of the ’same age’, so to speak. So yes, Mo’s family, home base, and Madeleine’s a crush.
I say this, of course, as a poly gal. But one who’s very good at monogamy (yes I’ve done it) when requested / agreed to. I will say that for Mo and Sydney’s relationship to work, Sydney has to work harder to tune into and be there for Mo’s needs, and better hold Mo’s feelings as valid and precious.
But again, Mo isn’t doing a whole lot of all this either.
Case in point, and on the related honesty tip: no, Mo and Sydney haven’t, at least to our knowledge, fully resolved the poly / monogamy question. But Sydney’s been open about wanting to change the paradigm. Why is monogamy the default, privileged, and sanctified mode of relating? What if one is naturally poly, and you’re asking them to go against their essential nature, be untrue to who they fundamentally are as a person? Does anything sound familiar here, folks? Mo doesn’t seem willing to stretch or try to see things differently to hear Sydney’s needs around this either; it was Sydney who found a therapist to even open the dialogue around this. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like this dialogue went anywhere. A bit of a pattern in DTWOF, I’ve noticed.
(note to the academics out there — yes, i’m a closeted essentialist, i’ll admit it. semi-closeted, i guess. but not apologetic. of course, it’s more complicated than an either/or, but there’s something to be said for a bit of polarizing to balance out a skewed picture…)
So, the eyes and the browser conversion (Mother’s bookmarks, not Sydney’s) all point to the wine being primary cause of the Mthrrr exclamation, bringing us to the beautifully two-fold last panel: Madeleine, the ‘mama’ in this unacknowledged but highly erotically charged (ex-) mentor / mentee dynamic, *would* be stopped cold by the cuts-close-to-the-truth but oh-so-completely different-in-tone “Motherrrr!” instigated by a clumsy move by her flirtee’s *actual* mother.
And it all comes together.
Simply Brilliant.
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:33 am
D’oh, I see the wine thing more clearly now. For some reason it didn’t seem so clear this afternoon. I think my brain has checked out already a full several days before spring break
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:38 am
Morbid suspicion: I wonder if Paul will make it til June, and this annoyed whine will be Sydney’s last communication with her beloved pa.
Naw, there’s too much still to be done with his failing faculties! Forget I ever mentioned it.
Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith Oscar Wilde: Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
March 22nd, 2007 at 2:48 am
I really feel for Sydney. I recognise her behavior in myself: I think it’s really easy to see someone very outgoing and assume “extrovert” but Sydney is almost the classic, hyperactive outgoing extreme introvert. Great at “performance” but finding people rather overwhelming. It doesn’t matter how good her intentions, sooner or later she will shut down because she can’t handle the emotional input–Madelaine works for her because she’s at a distance, don’t forget folks that Mo pressured Sydney to move in with her. I also think that as a rationalist it’s hard for Sydney to “get” anthropomorphisation. She can love Vanessa, and worry about her and still not get Mo’s take. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve hit this and offended someone, and I am very, very fond of my kitty. People like Sydney are excellent in practical situations and hopeless in emotional ones where they tend to try and see things logically but passionately. Most people seem to think those qualities are opposites.
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:43 am
Sydney’s poly–I get it, So why doesn’t she find a nice girl who’s poly too, or at doesn’t mind if her significant other isscrewing around. (And while Syd’s fucking others, I still think she should be safe).
Mo’s a serial monogomist, and has also made this clear to Sydney many times. If Sydney can’t give that up, Mo should find herself a nice monogamous woman, after she gets herslf together, that is. Oh, but wait! Mo thinks Sydney is trying to be monogamous (remember the couples therapy?) Mo thinks Sydney is trying to be true, when Sydney is really just telling Mo whatever she wants to hear and then doing whatever she (Sydney) wants. I think they call that, hm…LYING!
Yes a character like Sydney can be interesting. Bad girls always help to motivate the story. That doesn’t mean I’m not just plain old sick of her, and her mean, selfish ways. Doormat or not, I really like Mo. I’d like to see her happy, if just for a little while. And that’s just not going to happen until she butches up and kicks this user out of her life.
Can’t this character go to “catoon limbo” for awhile? If we have to have a “libidinous lothario” in this strip, why can’t Lois come back? At least she was an “ethical slut”!
March 22nd, 2007 at 8:45 am
Hey, ABBloggers, got a question that one of you frickin’ know-it-alls out there will surely be able to put your multitalented fingers on:
Today is Pat Robertson’s birthday, if you can consider him as having been born. You know, Pat is the guy who said
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” [I’ve NEVER encouraged anyone to kill their children, sheesh.]
Well, what I need is the quote from one of those evangelicaloons, Pat or Jerry or James or Ted, I can’t remember which, who said that if lesbian sex caught on, women would find it so satisfying they’d not sleep with men any more and THAT is why it’s immoral. This was within the last ten years. All I got. Help me, Obiwan.
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
re: Mo and Sydney
I thought that Sydney came to the realization (that Mo was tickled by) that her WORK as an academic was her PRIMARY and that Mo was her MISTRESS?
I missed the MLA stuff–scandalous, huh? I guess I will have to keep my eye out in future.
I think it is hard even for childless couples to give up on relationships that they have invested so much emotion and time into,even when they stop working.
Two interesting writings come to mind:
Laura Kipnis, _Against Love_, which is a tongue-in-cheek polemic againstof monogamous marriage as part of the ideology of capitalism, etc.,
and Ursula LeGuin, _The Dispossessed_ and “Matter of Seggri” in the story collection _Birthday of the World_.
LeGuin’s science fiction takes us to different types of kinship and love-match practices with wit and style.
Peace,Alison, and take a rest from the pressures of performing your public persona for a while! Enjoy the sunlight!
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:18 am
Oh I adore Sydney, and always have. My ex and I actually used to really love the Sydney/Mo debate stories because they were so similar to ours — earnestness v. devil’s advocate. Sydney’s not pseudo-academic — she’s an academic through and through (though often horribly pretentious) and much of that world is not shared by Mo. I think it makes sense that her connection to someone besides Mo would be in the context of that realm.
I agree that in some ways this is a mono/poly conflict, and that Mo isn’t terribly receptive to that dialogue — of course, neither is Sydney. They just shout over the divide. But isn’t there another way to read this? Remember the episode at the vet’s, where Mo was on the phone to Fiona, and Sydney to Madeline while they waited for the doctor to see them and their cats? Sydney has taken on the household with Mo — after many battles about shared responsibility — and now that they’re settled, they’re both restless. Mo’s focus has been on library school (and Fiona) and Sydney’s on Madeline. While Mo and Fiona graduated and thus had no convenient excuse, Madeline and Sydney have been collaborators for years.
They’ve both been distracted, both looking for connections outside their relationship (and thank god! No one relationship can sustain anyone), and unsurprisingly, that carried an sexual dynamic. The fact of Sydney’s emotional walls probably helped to simply have an affair rather than doing the work. But Mo knows what she’s up to, and if it was more important than being with Sydney, she would have broken it off.
Wow. Okay, I really just wanted to say that since Lois has settled down from being the cranky and lusty character I’ve always loved, Sydney has been my favorite DTWOF. I’m notorious for going for the difficult ones. :
:
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:21 am
I didn’t realize that would turn into an emoticon! Oh lawsy. How advanced/retrograde. I even typed out “grin” in an effort to avoid illustration.
March 22nd, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I love that Alison’s not posting so much anymore, becuase it means she’s on vacation.
Also love everybody’s romantic analysis. : )
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I’ve never disliked Sydney and I never thought of her as mean.
Maybe I’ve just missed out on those episodes?
I know she got weird and overly materialistic and seemed to become a complete emotion-phobe when she was diagnosed with cancer…it seems she never fully recooperated from that trauma.
But have I missed more of her Meany-meaniness??
Fill me in…
Thanks
Auntie
March 22nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Butch Fatale–I just want to put this in–My partner and I have been monogomous for several years now, and we’re very happy with each other. It really IS possible. I’m not saying this is what you’re saying, but I’ve read many a post that states after awhile cheating is inevitable in most long term relationships. In my case, that just hasn’t been true. I had one long term relationship with a partner that cheated on me, and the break of that trust was very, very painful.
The other relationships I’ve had have broken up mostly because of other reasons: sexual incompatability, money issues, just plain being physically attracted, but mismatched in every other way. Not cheating, or being polyamorous w/o clueing in my partner.
I agree with you on the emoticon thing. I don’t know what causes that problem. Sometimes, I’ve just posted something. ended my sentences with a period, go back to check on them and find a damn emoticon. Is that something AB’s staff could maybe check on?
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Sydney’s academic colleagues are “ancient”? God, most of them look like me and my collegial ilk. People in their prime, in other words. Or at least, so I would have said until reading the “a” word.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Midsouth Mouth,
The MLA conference was in the end strip of “Invasion of the DTWOF”. I don’t know what the comic book term is, but the long one over numerous pages that AB puts at the end of each book and which appears only in the book, not in any of the magazines the strip is normally in.
It was also in this strip that Toni slept with Gloria.
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Why do they call it sleeping together even if you’re both awake the whole time, and might not even be bear a bed?
Not that I’m implying anything about Toni and Gloria, since I didn’t read that one.
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:48 pm
off-topic - just read that Borders are struggling here and possibly pulling out of UK - see http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,2040197,00.html
they say it’s down to increaaed competition - ???? - like from all those local independent bookshops?
March 22nd, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Clarification — I don’t think Sydney thinks she and Madeleine could be a serious relationship. But I DO think that she thinks that they have some special, tortured, unstoppable passion. I think Sydney is getting off on the drama of it. And I suspect that Madeleine is much more blase about it, and that this would be a bit of shock to Sydney.
I also don’t think that Sydney is really polyamorous at heart. Not in the sustained, out-in-the-open, ethical kind of way. I think she just likes talking about it because it’s titillating and shocks Mo. (Or she used to like to talk about it. Notice how she hasn’t raised the subject since she actually started cheating?)
March 22nd, 2007 at 8:37 pm
yeah, and if you read the sequence about the mla convention where sydney and madeleine actually have sex, the whole thing isn’t so emotionally satisfying for sydney after all. i think she likes the idea of it much better than the actual thing…
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Yes, Sydney called Mo after the sex with Madeline to tell her she loved her - I really liked that scene, there was something very realistic about it. A lot of unsaid emotions.
I love the character of Sydney too. In many ways she is more complex and interesting than the rest of the DTWOF gang.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:16 am
well, what do you expect for someone ab would date, eh?
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:49 am
from
March 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
Mo’s inane comment is not totally random. There is somebody in the strip feeling something akin to survivor’s guilt: Sydney. Why else would she be waiting hand and foot on her ungrateful, demanding, emotional superfund site of a mother? “Doing your recycling”, indeed. Syd has been recycling her Mom’s emotional waste for years. (And Paul’s, but that story seems more complicated.)
I feel like Mo does that kind of thing a lot: almost puts her finger on something important, but then undermines herself by applying her insight in some ludicrous way — talking about the cat rather than her partner, in this case. But I can’t cite another example off the top of my head.
Polyamory or no polyamory, I think Madeleine is a user. She knows when people are vulnerable, and she takes advantage. (Incidentally, on the subject of polyamory, Madeleine is not openly polyamorous with her partner — who unexpectedly showed up at the hotel, forcing Sydney to flee the room.) I hope Mo pulls herself together in time to offer Sydney the support she needs before Madeleine can get her claws in.
March 23rd, 2007 at 10:25 am
shadocat:
Yes, to clarify I am not saying that monogamy without infidelity is not possible in the long-term. And of course, if Sydney is being “polyamorous” without telling Mo, she’s cheating. I’m just saying there’s a lot going on here and Sydney’s not an out and out villan.
What I *am* saying is that no one relationship is enough — at least for most people. Sydney doesn’t reach out for support from her peers, she has Mo, but other than that it’s her students or her former professor. It’s not shocking that relationships (for both of them) with other women would have a sexual charge, particularly at a time when they’re both missing something from one another. Obviously, acting on that charge is another matter. I don’t, however, think that just because Mo didn’t act on it and Sydney did it means that Sydney’s the villian and Mo the victim.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:07 pm
You can’t break up Mo and Sydney AND Toni and Clarice. I’m afraid I just can’t TAKE it.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I think that from the jealous/insecure person’s point of view, there is not much distinction between one’s partner FEELING an attraction for someone else and ACTING on it.
And I suppose in order to be able to appreciate the harmlessness of one’s partner feeling attracted to others, it helps if one notices others with enjoyment oneself.
I suppose being afraid of those feelings is the difficulty.
That’s all the articulateness I can muster today. I am off in search of a good haircut. Since I am not an artist, I can never draw my haircutter a picture. I can only describe what I want using the imprecision of my own words (and a few absurd gestures), which I later discover to have meant something different to me than they did to him. Gone are the days when I had a regular, seemingly psychic haircutter. Alas.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
DF and Shadocat have commented on the polyamory theme w/Mo and Sydney. here are my thoughts — as a person who gave a partner permission to go outside the relationship because I couldn’t deal w/the sexual dynamics anymore. for me, it turned out to be a way to end a stagnant relationship. I suppose I’m open to being in a poly relationship but, as with so many things, I’d be entering into it as a novice. My experience is quite limited.
I don’t see Sydney as being dishonest with Mo about her involvement with Madeleine just because they are (or were) in couple’s therapy around Sydney’s affair. Yes, Sydney agreed to the therapy — but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s been asking for an open relationship for some time now. My experience with couple’s therapy is that each party goes in with her own agenda and Sydney’s agenda is to negotiate an open relationship.
A problem I have w/Sydney’s involvement with Madeleine is related to this not having been discussed with Mo ahead of time. Sydney told Mo some time back that she’d achieved her polyamory aims by having her work as her primary relationship and making Mo secondary, “the other woman.” Seems that Sydney blindsided Mo by entering into yet another relationship without Mo’s knowledge. And it so far as I can tell, Sydney hasn’t acknowledged this.
I’ve got to agree w/DF that yes, polyamorists are in the minority and monogamy is still the “default” expectation in couple relationships. I’d like to point out that the minority position, the “other” position will be a threat to the majority until the minority position is better understood by the majority. This is true with polyamory, homosexuality, non-Christians (in the U.S. — obviously not in Muslim countries), and the list goes on and on. I’m glad to hear polyamorist voices here, especially since they have been non-defensive and, yes, informative.
One last thought, and I hope this isn’t thoroughly undigestible. Or unintelligible.
The het majority fear GLBT people in part because to them, gays and lesbians are non-monogamous. straight = monogamous, gay = non-monogamous. never mind that this isn’t true, that the discussion here indicates polyamory is in the minority in our community, too. we *are* more open and accepting of polyamory than straight people will admit to being.
generally speaking, of course. I don’t want to offend any straight polyamorous readers!
much as I love Mo, I have to agree with those who’ve pointed out that she’s just as unresponsive to Sydney’s needs as Sydney has been to hers. Sydney’s taking care of her mother while trying to prepare a paper for a panel and her work for the conference (her supposedly primary relationship) is being neglected. Mo’s response: that’s too bad. listen, I’m worried about Virginia.
what’s so sad here is that I believe both are doing the best they can in this relationship . . . unless there’s some sort of divine intervention. I still cringe when I recall how miserably my first female lover and I failed each other, despite our best efforts.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:50 pm
oops!! my earnestness after everyone else being easygoing is painful — to me at least. I posted today before reading.
silvio, I know what you mean about seeking out a good haircut. stylists seem to think I should have less hair than I want to have — something about having delicate features. I end up telling them how I want it and the results can leave something to be desired. has to do with the uninformed telling the pro what to do. just can’t help myself!
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:46 pm
ah, silvio, good luck getting a haircut that looks like you actually want it to… i always have this problem. usually, my haircut ends up looking ok or good, but it’s never quite like i wanted it… but you never know, maybe it’s your lucky day. happy friday, everyone.
March 23rd, 2007 at 5:26 pm
mlk,
don’t worry about sounding earnest. I always marvel at how gracefully others get away with it, whereas I just sound whiny or wounded (to myself) when I allow myself to get serious here. (Hair and Food–much safer issues, but you can’t win if you don’t play!)
March 23rd, 2007 at 5:46 pm
My philosophy of haircuts is based on the recognition that I always put off getting haircuts for much too long (as I do with just about everything else. I have to join the Procrastinators Society someday!) I start out getting it shorter than is really ideal, then wait three or four months until it is longer than is really ideal before getting sheared again. Meanwhile it looks reasonably decent for most of that period. Who has time to fuss over hair? There are books to be read!
Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith F.C. Bernand: Cut! It strikes me I’ve had it mowed!
March 24th, 2007 at 12:59 am
I tend to go in ten-year cycles; ten years with really long hair, then 10 years with a buzz cut.
What always strikes me as odd is how many people remark, “Oh, now that you’ve cut your hair, it must be so much easier to take care of.” HA! SO not true.
You can put long hair in braids or a pony tail and be done with it. It always looks the same and no mental adjustment is necessary. (That’s the reason that eventually I need to cut it, just to break out of the ennui…)
Short hair finds a thousand ways to cause you anguish. You have to comb it, gel it, blow dry it, and just generally SCRUTINIZE IT before you dare leave the house. (Unless you are blessed with total unselfconsciousness, a quality not to be sneezed at.)
Once you cut your hair, you discover more currents, cowlicks, and vortexes than Sedona, Arizona has. Places form spirals, stick up, stick out, or lay down contrary to your efforts to get them to do the opposite.
I always thought Shania Twain expressed it well when she sang, “…my hair went flat; MAN I hate that!”
By the way, my haircutter instructed me to call him at 8:30 tomorrow morning (well, later THIS morning; it’s the middle of the night here) to see if he was free to cut my hair. I had to admire his enterprising spirit, to be ready to work so early on a Saturday morning.
Must sleep now. Sweet dreams, All.
March 24th, 2007 at 3:06 am
Foo! I left my comment in the wrong thread! It should have been in the O’Hare Airport one.
Apologies!
March 24th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Saturday Morning–Continuing Saga of My Haircut:
Called the haircutter, as instructed, at 8:30 AM; it rang and rang and rang.
Took a walk around the corner to the Spanish-speaking establishment that advertises “UNISEX” haircuts. (Worried about how I will communicate in sign language.)
Dark and Closed.
Kept walking. Walked past traditional barber shop, complete with striped pole.
9 AM: barber sweeping and plugging things in. Knocked on door. Elderly white barber in white barber smock looks at me quizzically (me in rain with umbrella) and asks, “What do you want?” (I mean, DUH!)
“A haircut,” I reply.
“I don’t cut women’s hair,” he said.
(I start to explain, “I just want a fade. It’s just hair…” His face is blank)
Pointless to argue.
Kept walking, found modest yet modern joint with two men and a woman waiting, one quite short-haired female in barber chair, and a real live receptionist.
Made an appointment for tomorrow.
PHEW.
As hard as I try to branch out and create synthesis, I confess it is a relief to find a place where I don’t feel like a weirdo and don’t have to explain.
All this reminds of me how I felt in 1969, the first time I walked into the men’s department in Sears to buy an honest-to-god pair of mens’ levy jeans that had real pockets and did not have that stupid side zipper.
Thanks all for letting me vent.
March 24th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Butch Fatale,
Agreed, it seems like Sydney is the one everyone projects their issues with betrayal onto, and says “poor Mo.” I also wonder why everyone is so fixated on “the act” of sex. After all, Mo did have an affair with Fiona, even if they never “did it”. Seems very Clinton-like, “I never ______ with that woman.”
I guess that’s the fun of the DTOWF soap opera. All us readers get to pick who’s the bad guy and the good guy and then run with it.
March 24th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Silvio, I love your saga, I really do.
My own haircutter is Ruben, at a “Unisex” $7 place where all the staff and clientele are Latino/a. I wrote a poem about it that got published in a good anthology. Ruben is either transgender or a drag queen or just gay, I’ve never asked for his self-definition — he does go by he, at least at work. He has nice lady-style clothes, decent breasts, long bleach-blond hair, blue contact lenses, and he never fucking blinks when I say I want him to use the #2 setting on the buzzer.
The rest of the staff adore him, and he always has the longest list of people waiting for him to cut his hair because he’s just that good. It’s a trip to me to see these burly stiff Latino gangbangers sitting there for an hour just so they can get Ruben to cut their hair, instead of any of the other men and women on staff. He cuts through all prejudice, seems like. I tip him $8, still paying only $15 for a great buzz-fade.
My godson usually goes with me to get my hair cut, and Ruben chats him up, shows him what he’s doing, admires my godson’s shoulder-length flaxen hair. The first few times I went there, I was the fat crippled gringa marimacha and got some serious stares, but hey, I learned a long time ago to deal with my own discomfort about being the only white person in a room full of folks of color and before too long, they cut me some slack. Now I’m a regular.
March 24th, 2007 at 11:53 am
hey, maggie, I hear ya!
I suppose the living-room/kitchen-like atmosphere of a true hair salon/barber shop is the reason for both feeling accepted and not feeling accepted at these places. (The regulars don’t want you to interfere with THEIR feeling of okay-ness either.)
The people who frequent a certain barber shop keep going there because there is a continuity of relationship with the crowd there (kind of like this blog!). There is humor, gossip, and hopefully utility there. (like, a good haircut!)
the times I have tried to crash, for instance, an african-american barber shop full of men, I have met initial scepticism about what I am doing there, but both times, my sincerity and bravery kind of got me over the hump to acceptance, and after that I found nothing but civility and good humor. The reason I went there in the first place was because that is where I could get the good haircut I was seeking.
Since I am not a “girly-girl,” (nothing wrong with girl-girls, I am just not one) I have never felt comfortable in a ladies salon, but I suppose that is just my lack of imagination in thinking I could not relate there too.
What I really seek is a haircutter who will look at my head of hair and have creative visions, and take responsibility for being artistic with my hair. (I suppose that is every person’s dream walking into a salon.)
My confession is that when I watch those “Legally Blond” movies with Reese Witherspoon, I secretly wish I were part of a sisterhood of people (I don’t insist that they be women) who are so happy about they way they look. It seems like fun.
I do remember once, years ago, some serious musician dykes that I knew held a “Henna Party” (pun on “hen party”–get it?) in their backyard where they put henna in each others’ hair and chilled out all day just bein’ dykes. Now, doesn’t that sound therapeutic?
(I was kind of amazed to know that these particular women ever lightened up like that…it reminds me of a time that a very radical dyke couple that I knew from some political assocations told me they would be in Cancun the following week. Thinking there was some major political demo happening there that I didn’t know about, I asked, “Oh what are you going to be doing?” and one woman said, “Oh some serious sunbathing, I hope.” They were going on VACATION! Who knew?)
Sometimes I can be very naive.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
What’s a buzz fade? Sounds like it could be a jazz term.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Ellen, I’m using the term a little incorrectly, for descriptive purposes. (Been writing fiction all morning, my juices are in full flow.) Stealing from Wikipedia, a FADE is a short buzz cut on the side faded into a longer buzzcut on the top, ie. a 2 on the side and a 4 on top. Can also be a finger-length or longer scissor/razor/clipper over comb cut on top.
Some folks (dykes here, especially) bypass the fade for a definitive line between short buzz on the bottom, longer on top. I’m not sure, but I think that’s called a wedge. Some dykes also have longer hair on one part of the top than another (like Rosie did for a while) or magnificent “forelocks” at the front. I’d go for the latter except I have an intransigent cowlick at my left front hairline which makes any sort of bangs (fringe, for the Brits) come out looking all David Hasselhoffy, which I cannot abide.
But — feel free, all you linguistic types, to start making up the musical meanings of a buzz fade.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Maggie-we have identical cowlicks!
I don’t know what my haircut is called. I just kept telling Judy I wanted it short, and After a while she knew what I wanted and i stopped takling about it.
The previous haircutter told me i couldnt possibly have it that short without gelling it. I had to go through the foolishness of her putting gel on it, which I then washed out.
I just comb it straight back int he shower after washing it, and seldom need to do anything else. It’s curly enough that any slight sloppiness doesn’t show much, but not surly enough to be difficult.
March 24th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
oh. Not curly enough to be difficult. I’d hate to have surly hair.
too lazy to work up the obvious “snarly” joke.
March 24th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
little gator-actually, surly works there(grin). My hair has a mind of its own, and can become quite surly when it wants.
March 24th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Silvio, thanks for the reassurance. reassuring, too, to learn I’m not the only one who gets insecure.
someone asked a LONG way back how Mo met Sydney and when she will dump her. can’t answer the 2nd one, of course, but the story of their meeting is chronicled in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF. Basically, Sydney moves to town for an academic gig and woos the pants off of Mo. this only happens, though, after she admits what a schmuck she has been and apologizes to Thea for abandoning her and running to Madeleine shortly after Thea’s MS is diagnosed.
so . . . Madeleine and Sydney go a LONG way back. they’re a recurrent theme in each other’s lives.
I’d like to see Mo and Syd work out this polyamory thing and get back to being happy together. if it’s even possible. of course, I’d also like Sydney to be less materialistic — in some ways, I find that more offensive in her than her dishonesty.
I don’t know that Paul is necessarily losing his faculties. In this instance, it may just be that he hasn’t gotten used to a new toy and is too self centered to remember the thread of his daughter’s life. Jennifer would know, but Paul?
seems this strip may be commentary about how too many new toys defeat any ease that technology supposedly gives us. who needs to figure out yet another way to keep a calendar? or make a phone call? or remember someone’s name? instead of programming our lives, why don’t we just live them? Luddite views here, I know . . .
March 24th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Shadocat
To equate Sydney with Lois is to insult Lois really.
Lois is very upfront about herself. She knows what game she’s playing, and seem to stick with other players playing the same game by the same rules.
I don’t recall any major episodes since I started reading way back in the mid-90s an instance of Lois purposely lying to someone the way Sydney lies to Mo on an ongoing basis.
Lois is a true sexual rebel, and she makes that absolutely clear. Lois seems to embody the Lesian Saphist sexuality.
Sydney is a conformist. Who acts to standards, but when no one is looking she cheats, lies about it, and if she is not caught red handed. She thinks nothing of it.
And no doubt for Sydney, being caught naked in bed with another woman would not be enough. You’d have to take a photo of her engaging. LOL
She uses Mo’s desire to see only what she wants to see, her desire to see the positive against Mo so she can continue to cheat and lie.
These behaviors ironically make Sydney far more mannish than Lois is in her best drag king moment. LOL
Sydney and all her rationalizations for cheating, and her utter dismissal (in her behavior) of anything Mo does for her (after all she deserves it, she’s been sick)is oh so typically male, mannish….. so Bushlike. LOL
If Sydney were a male character (heaven forbid
there would be no one who would sympathize with her.
She’d be seen as a selfish louse, using her partner.
Who by the way in terms of how she relates to Sydney, Once again shadocat you’re right, Mo does act a bit too much like the doormat Sydney sees her as being.
One thing that would be fun to see is an encounter between Lois and Sydney. Talk about oil and water.
Being the typical cheating spouse does not a sexual rebel make. LOL
Oh and for the record, I am a polygamous at heart. Personally I feel the ideal relationship should have 3 or more partners romantically engaged.
HOWEVER in my relationships my partners were monogamous, and so was I.
It’s about honesty and trust, not sex, and that is Sydney’s biggest flaw is.
March 24th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Hail Eris!
I looked at the YouTube vid, Suzanonymous, but I don’t see what you’re seeing…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5owExuc9HW8
Snarky
March 24th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
ManFan,
I didn’t mean to equate Sydney with Lois! Sydney is despicable in her dishonesty. I just meant, if the strip has to focus on a character that has a vatiety of sex partners, why can’t we see more of Lois?
Other, than that, I gree with you.
March 24th, 2007 at