I have to go shampoo my beard now.

October 14th, 2007 | Uncategorized

I was having a particularly bad case of Sunday evening depression–that feeling of dread that takes hold as you’re folding your laundry and bracing yourself for whatever fresh hells the new week might bring–but then I checked the blog and found Aunt Soozie’s link to this excellent quiz, “Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?”

Who made this? It’s really funny. Here’s my score:


125 Responses to “I have to go shampoo my beard now.”

  1. kate says:

    good lord ab–this has been out all over the internet for ages. have you had your head in a book or something?

  2. Deborah says:

    I love that you took this quiz, AB.
    I noticed that Ginger (my alter-ego) isn’t on the list though, must to my dismay.
    It pegged me as Clarice, which is pretty close too, I guess.
    Fighting those Sunday night blues also …

  3. Leshka says:

    Halfway through the test, I knew I’d be Mo. Does one spell “anal retentive” with a hyphen?

  4. Deena in OR says:

    Ooof. 75% Toni, 75% Clarice, 75% Stuart. Not sure what to think of that. I always thought I was closer to being a Sparrow.

    Now if I could just get this ^$%@#$ migraine to go away…

  5. jayinchicago says:

    I’m Lois, with Mo close behind.
    and yes, I would give myself permission to read the newest Harry Potter at Camp Trans.

  6. LM says:

    Sunday evenings are a Good Thing. Not only haven’t you screwed up anything yet for the new week, but locally, one can swing to Lawrence Welk on our PBS station before an early doddering off to bed.

  7. April says:

    Oy vey I’m Stuart. I thought I was very *not* Stuart but there you go. What, no Ginger?

  8. shadocat says:

    I was certain I’d be a Mo, but good Lord, I’m a LOIS with a SYDNEY “rising”!

  9. LM says:

    Should have known that I would score a Sydney, though by a bare majority.

  10. DeLandDeLakes says:

    I’m Sparrow. And none too pleased about it, I might add. Shouldn’t the fact that I know my moon sign and believe that men can be feminists be balanced out by the fact that I have no desire to have a spouse or kid? (Not to mention that I avoid Yoga on principle because it makes you fart? πŸ™‚

  11. Melissa says:

    That’s pretty funny.
    I am Mo and Stuart equally. I was expecting to be Lois.

  12. DSW says:

    oooooo 65% Lois 65% Sydney. hm…

  13. JenK says:

    50% Sydney
    50% Stuart
    45% Sparrow

    Can’t say I disagree.

  14. Em says:

    85% Lois, with Mo at dead last at 35%. However, much as I may identify the most with Lois’ ideals and lust for life, I can easily relate to Mo when she was between Harriet and Sydney. The intense coworker crush, wondering if you’ll ever have a relationship again, feeling like “the pathetic maiden aunt”…
    But what seals it for being a Lois is the calender strip where she reclaims “the lost matriarchal rite of buttwatching”

  15. Em says:

    Oh, and “I have to go shampoo my beard now”? Best. Blog. Headline. Ever.

  16. born-again rhetor says:

    Is it old-skool to rate Mo?

    I was just grouching about Sunday nights; trying to bury the knowledge I won’t do half of what I put on my calendar by staying up late trying to do some of it. I knew I needed a dose of dykes when I read “Against Love: A Treatise on the Tyranny of Two” and miserably, bitterly agreed (it figures).

  17. Tone says:

    I was extremely flattered to find myself as Lois!!! Stuart came up as the second part of my personality, and although I never thought of it that way I have always liked Stuart too. I have always seen myself as partly Sydney and unfortunately partly Mo, but would definiteley prefer it if I actually was like the present Lois. Thanks for the quiz – that was fun!!!!

  18. Juliet says:

    I’m Stuart too! Though only 75%, followed by 70% Lois.

    I remember doing another version of this test where I came out (more predictably) as Ginger – disorganised, well meaning, somewhat commitment phobic PhD student with a significantly lower academic bullshit tolerance than Sydney, despite years of gender studies education.

    funfunfun xxx

  19. Anonymous says:

    Hmm…I seem to be 75% Stuart, 70% Toni and 60% Mo. Stuart’s no surprise, but I thought I’d be more Mo. I think if I’d answered the question about car ownership and the war more stridently, that would have done it…

    Interesting that AB scored more Stuart than Mo πŸ˜‰

  20. Ian says:

    I came out as a Toni when I was convinced I was a Ginger! It was slightly weird being asked whether Martha Stewart is hot hot hot! I do wish I could woo, tantalise, stimulate and otherwise turn on prospective partners with words a la Sydney.

    On the Sunday evening blues I completely identify, especially when there’s nothing on TV. Three gazillion channels and nothing (decent) to watch. I could do the huge pile of housework but that’d be far too sensible. Ah well, “Yesterday’s the tomorrow I dreaded two days ago” and all that nonsense.

  21. Darren Zieger says:

    Um, Anonymous was me…

  22. Dr. Empirical says:

    I’m Clarice with a side of Sydney. Didn’t expect the latter, I expected a higher Lois.

  23. advorunnermom says:

    i’m equally Clarice *and* Toni! I wish that meant I had the inside track on what’s going on in their house.

  24. Ginjoint says:

    Huh. 80% Mo, 65% Stuart. I thought I was too much of a smartass to qualify as a Mo.

  25. nic h says:

    And I think im in trouble, ive just read this out to my partner, before i had actually read it to myself.
    ha well, at least im 45% lois

    50% toni
    You are Toni, the highly-feminine, Puerto Rican lesbian of your gang. You’ve been letting your attention stray from your long-time partner. It’s time to take her to bed and find a new use for that goose-necked lamp!

  26. Aunt Soozie says:

    espousing the virtues of β€œthe lost matriarchal rite of buttwatching” while simultaneously trying to raise a reasonably well adjusted child…I guess Lois/Stuart is right for me. and it’s so much fun hearing how y’all turned out on this chilly Monday morning. (Hi Darren Zieger)

  27. Alex the Bold says:

    Oh God, I’m Mo! This is terrible.

  28. catlet says:

    OMG Sparrow with Sydney rising?

    I wanted to be Clarice. πŸ™‚

  29. ThresherK says:

    I returned 80% Stuart & 80% Sydney, easing down to 45% Lois & 40% Sparrow.

    However, to “I always wanted to have a wife and kid.” I couldn’t separate my wanting (and having) one, and not the other.

  30. Bookbird says:

    I’m 80% Toni, 70% Clarice, 65% Sydney. Toni??

    Juliet, do you remember where you you found the other version of the test? I’d like a chance to be Ginger.

  31. Kat says:

    I was 90% Mo, then Stuart, then Lois….I’m confuzzed, though. What are the percentages referring to?

    There was a Calvin and Hobbes strip once that perfectly grasped my feelings about weekends. It was something about “I can never fully enjoy Sundays because deep in my heart, I know that the next day is Monday…”

  32. Lauren Z says:

    Maybe Ginger isn’t on the list because she’s a little harder to peg. (not “peg” peg – just …. oh never mind.)

    I’m Clarice – no big shocker there….

  33. Andrew B says:

    I turn out to be Sydney, which is close, but like several others I see myself more as Ginger. Stuart came in second, which is reasonable. One confusing thing is that I scored higher on the Lois scale (30%) than I did as Clarice (25%), which is just wrong on almost every count.

    Kat, I think the percentages probably refer to how many of the criteria for that character you match. E.g. Alison met 100% of the criteria for Stuart; I met 30% of the criteria for Lois. If anybody knows for sure, please fill us in.

  34. Katie says:
    Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?
    created with QuizFarm.com
    You scored as Mo

    You are Mo, a guilt-ridden, kindhearted liberal who doesn’t relax enough. You are ordered to buy a pint of non-organic, dairy ice cream and watch Comedy Central for a week. PBS will still be there when you get back.















    I’m guilty as charged where PBS is concerned.

  35. Al et al says:

    Good Lord, I’m 75% Sydney, 75% Clarice. Worst. Partner. Ever.

  36. laura says:

    Al et al, it depends WHICH 75% of Sydney and Clarice you are. Might be best partner ever. Whatever she thinks (and fantasizes) about herself, Clarice is dependable, reasonably faithful (come on, ONE fling), and responsible. Having a child was her partner’s desire, not hers, and yet she is as good a parent as you can be. And Sydney!!!! Sydney is cute, sexy, fun to be around, capable to live with somebody who is very different from her, attached to the cats, and loving. And intelligent.

  37. ksbel6 says:

    I’m 75% MO and 55% Lois. I know the connection to Lois is drag πŸ™‚

  38. Al et al says:

    Thanks, Laura, I needed that. The really hilarious thing is that, while I do have a law degree, I am a stay-at-home mom in a monogomous marriage to a man. (I’m sort of Sparrow-esque in that regard– while I don’t identify as straight, I ended up falling in love with a guy-type person). Can you imagine either Sydney or Clarice volunteering at the preschool library and the PTA bake sale? I can barely imagine me doing it!

  39. Sarah says:

    I saw a bearded, slightly paunchy, cheerful-looking white guy crossing the street in Cambridge, MA on Saturday, pushing a little Asian girl in a stroller, and my partner and I both said at the same time “It’s Stuart and Jiao Raizel!!” I almost waved. Of course, JR is past the stroller stage now. Have Stuart and Sparrow thought about having (or adopting) another baby?

  40. Robin B. says:

    Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?created with QuizFarm.comYou scored as Clarice You are Clarice, a driven, liberal, workaholic lawyer. The Bush Administration has caused you a lot of anxiety lately. You have orders to cut one volunteer commitment and spend more time playing GTA3 with your son Raffi. Stuart70% Clarice70% Lois70% Mo65% Toni60% Sparrow35% Sydney15%

    I’m equal parts Clarice, Lois, and Stuart! Now, there’s a threesome that will NEVER happen.

    Alison, when you shampoo your beard, be sure to use the rosemary-cucumber conditioner. You want to stay silky!

  41. Sophie says:

    This is hilarious. I’m a Sparrow, with Lois rising. Yep, that’s me in a nutshell. I should include that in my Salon personals profile.

  42. Juliet says:

    I can’t find the other test anywhere. Perhaps I invented it…oh dear, how telling is that!


    I’ll keep lookin


  43. Saturnine says:

    Long time lurker, first time poster.

    Sydney 80%, Toni 80%, then Clarice 55%. I knew I’d get Sydney, but Toni was a bit of a surprise.

  44. Andrea says:

    I am Mo and Sydney. Both 65%.

    Alison, at least you now have an easy answer to the “Is Mo your alter ego?” question!

  45. Feminista says:

    For those of you who follow the comic Liliane,she’s got a new personal surprise. Check it out at liliane.comicgenesis.com.

  46. jk says:


    I think I have Mo’s intense sense of right vs. wrong, but possibly even less resolve than her to take action on it. Was Mo raised Catholic? : P I like the Toni but I’m not sure what to make of it.

  47. Sara says:

    I came out as 95% Mo, which kinda surprised me…I guess I don’t think of myself as that anal retentive. I always think I *should* really be *more* anal retentive if I *really* want to get enough things done like I should so that the world doesn’t go to hell entirely…

    Oh, wait… *sigh*

  48. Alex K says:

    80% Lois, 75% Mo.

    I can’t tell you all how very happy this makes me.

    Katie, ksbel6 – yesssss!!!

  49. dan says:

    i dont really know much about this website or what im supposed to say, but, my teacher ken has requested that i reply to something on here so here it is.

  50. claricealike says:

    I’m really disappointed to find out I’m Clarice. She’s one of my least favorite characters! Which I guess is why I’m in therapy and not getting anywhere. Or any.

  51. Riotllama says:

    You are Lois, the ladykiller who’s mellowed into an awesome, loyal girlfriend. Give yourself permission to read the newest Harry Potter at Camp Trans. Lois80% Mo80% Sydney80%

    The funny thing is, I did read the new harry potter at camp trans.

  52. The Cat Pimp says:

    I’m Clarice with Mo coming in second. I’d rather be Lois. Or at least have a squeeze. Sigh.

    Don’t forget the conditioner, Alison. You want that beard nice and soft!

  53. Josiah says:

    I came out as 85% Clarice, which is odd, since I’m terminally lazy:

    β€’You are Clarice, a driven, liberal, workaholic lawyer. The Bush Administration has caused you a lot of anxiety lately. You have orders to cut one volunteer commitment and spend more time playing GTA3 with your son Raffi.

    I’m also 70% Stuart, 70% Toni, and 60% Lois. Not sure what (if anything) that means…

  54. shadocat says:

    This is a little off-topic, but I just read this very interesting article reviewing a new biography of Charles Schulz, which reminded me of that previous post comparing him to Alison; it’s pretty interesting—


  55. Silvio Soprani says:


    Very interesting! No so off-topic either.
    It reminded me a bit of the predicament of DR.Seuss (Theodore Geisel)–depressed, self-isolating himself by concentrating solely on his work to the exclusion of his family.

    It seems that the choices are: neglect your family and succeed creatively, flee from your family and be reviled for choosing creativity., or stay focused on your family and get interrupted every 5 minutes.

    Can anybody give some examples of successful creative artists who found a balance? Does such a thing exist?

    I know I have read that Toni Morrison would get up at 4 AM to do her daily writing before her kid(s) woke up. Virginia Woolf didn’t have any kids. Now how did Frank Zappa do it? He seems to have had the most normal family life of anybody–I think he and his wife (who stayed together for decades) had 4 or 5 kids. His son now tours with a band and performs his father’s very complicated jazz pieces and has only good things to say about him.

  56. Pam I says:

    Dan, hello. What is your teacher teaching you? From Eng. Lit to Applied Maths, you should find something here.

  57. Silvio Soprani says:

    Oh, yes, I also meant to say Hello Dan!
    You might as well take the quiz at the top of this thread to find out what kind of “Dyke to Watch Out For” you are most in sync with. (In case you are totally new to this site, that is the comic strip by the host of this blog.)

  58. pd says:

    Mo 85%, Clarice and Stuart 60%. About what I expected. No wonder I rant inside all the time. Descending from there down to Sparrow 20% – I didn’t know my signs.

  59. shadocat says:

    Regarding Charles Schulz; It was pretty interesting, wasn’t it? I’m a little reminded of Katharine Hepburn’s replies when she would be questioned on why she never married or had children—basically she would say it was because she thought she couldn’t do both well, and her career would always come first.

    It does seem that musicians do fare a little better in the area of family, although why that is, I have no idea. I have a little story about this, from personal experience:

    About 20 years ago, I worked as a secretary at a local hospital. Ozzy Osbourne happened to be on tour, and his family was with him. One of his daughters had to be hospitalized, and the whole entourage was on my floor. This was way before “The Osbournes” show–mom looked like any chubby subrban mom, dad was very concerned about his daughter, so much so that he was going to cancel that night’s show, and didn’t only because his wife assured him that all was okay. I was just struck by how, well, nice and NORMAL they seemed—how did they manage a normal family life on a rock and roll tour? Never did find out.

  60. mysticriver says:

    Whoo! Team Clarice!
    (Funny, I always thought I was most like Sparrow)

    Re: the off-topic topic, who was it that said you could have perfection of the man or perfection of the work? So many artists have had that work/family imbalance…art can be such a solo endeavor, it’s hard to be all things to all people. Not to mention that many artists were/are introverted – or inwardly-focused – to begin with.

    Seuss and Schulz were extraordinarily prolific – it’s small wonder they had little time for anything else. They both also were able to support themselves and their families through their drawing, at relatively young ages, if memory serves. It’s pretty extraordinary.

    I think J.R.R. Tolkein managed to combine day job, family, and personal art fairly well. Of course, it took him decades to finish his work, but fortunately he was around to see it well-received. He seemed quite the family man.

  61. Deena in OR says:

    Re: musicians…I don’t know, but I do know that my son is dating one (they met in the orchestra of a community theatre production) (Jana, it was the Mikado, in case you’re interested) and that my parents met each other in college choir-as did my brother and his wife. Maybe there is something to the old saying about making beautiful music together (smiles wickedly….)

  62. Norwegian Black Metal says:

    You are: Raffi

    You’re young, male, fed up with your parents and probably play too much Halo or GTA: Vice City. Your greatest asset is your indifference and teenaged sarcasm. You’ll probably grow up to be an investment banker. You probably read FARK.com when your moms’ backs are turned.

  63. LondonBoy says:

    How on earth did I come to score as a Lois ( 75% ), with Sparrow rising ( 65% ) ? The Sparrow thing I can just about understand ( I once worked out my horoscope from first principles, so know my various signs ), but where did the Lois thing come from ? I’m going to have to get a fashionable haircut and a leather jacket now…

    Dan: welcome to one of the best sites on the web. A good place to start is by reading some of the character biographies. If you like intelligent cartoons, you’re in the right place ( or if you just like intelligent conversation ). If you’re feeling rich, you might like to buy “Fun Home”, which is our hostess’s latest award-winning work – a cartoon book about growing up and realising that you’re slightly different, and so are other people you love – or one of the numerous “Dykes to Watch Out For” compilations, which are cartoon strips about a bunch of interesting people ( many of whom happen to be lesbians ).

  64. Anonymous says:

    I love that you took this. I always wonder how writers/artists feel about the pop-culture off shoots of their work. Knowing that you not only like the quiz but took it ROCKS!

  65. Silvio Soprani says:


    “How on earth?” I think you score as a Lois if you are accepting of others and not terribly self-absorbed, AND/OR if you are an unapologetic hedonist. Seeing as how you are a kindly, philosophical soul AND you brought the Maoist Orange Cake to Civilization (that’s the hedonist part), I would say the DTWOF test was pretty valid.

  66. gatheringwater says:

    I’m Clarice. Really Clarice. And I couldn’t be happier. I think all we Clarices should network to form a committee. First item on the agenda: Isn’t it time for a new haircut?

  67. Raffi says:

    Oh man, this ain’t right:

    Mo 80%
    Sydney 75%
    Stuart 75%
    Toni 70%
    Sparrow 60%
    Lois 60%
    Clarice 50%

    Is it Lois who thinks that feminine men are cute?

  68. Feminista says:

    Took it again,and it’s Stuart and Mo. The Stuart doesn’t surprise me,but I KNOW I’m not as anal-retentive as Mo. Now if you would just proofread your posts and watch for those spelling errors…

  69. Dr. Empirical says:

    Clarices of the world UNITE!

  70. j.b.t. says:

    Yikes! I’m Clarice! Didn’t see that coming. I think it’s interesting how many of us didn’t think we would score the way we did…

    I am feeling all DTWOF-happy, and connected to an amazing web-community of people, despite my secret luddite leanings. Thank you Allison, for making this for us. And thank you, posters, for contributing. Fun!

    Love, Jennette

    P.S. I totally had Sunday evening dread last night, too! Sigh.

  71. JoeBeason says:

    Sparrow??? I got Sparrow??? Must have been the astrology questions…

  72. Josh says:

    I’ve always identified with Mo, and πŸ™‚ ===>

    Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?created with QuizFarm.comYou scored as Mo You are Mo, a guilt-ridden, kindhearted liberal who doesn’t relax enough. You are ordered to buy a pint of non-organic, dairy ice cream and watch Comedy Central for a week. PBS will still be there when you get back. Mo80% Lois60% Sydney55% Sparrow55% Toni35% Clarice25% Stuart25%

    My style of relating politically to the world, to other people and to myself (especially my anxiety) is pure Mo. I’m a gay male version of Lois in some of my, uhm, other behaviors πŸ™‚ and unfortunately i probably AM next most like Sydney πŸ™ , but I’m happy to test as most unlike Stuart (yay!!!!) I’m attracted to lesbians too, but I’m not a dweeb, and thought I’m a leftie, i TRULY distrust the Left Establishment.

  73. roz warren says:

    i am so totally mo and i embrace that. mo ROCKS!!

  74. Silvio Soprani says:

    “Is it Lois who thinks that feminine men are cute?”


    No, it’s Lois who thinks masculine women are…

  75. Silvio Soprani says:

    Actually, I meant to say “butch” women.

  76. little gator says:

    I’m MO, but only 55%. I’m a het woman, but I have been declared an Honorary Gay Male, for stupid an dhilarious reasons.

  77. Aunt Soozie says:

    I think Lois thinks femme men are cute
    and I think Stuart would probably say that too?

  78. Suzanonymous says:

    I’m a Mo (85%) with the next ones trailing (around the 50s).

    Puzzled about what hells await someone living alone in a remote house, among peepers, bats, and beavers..

  79. BamfChyck says:

    I’m Lois.
    So why don’t I get laid more often?

  80. Raffi says:

    Is there a special term for people who love feminine men?

  81. The Cat Pimp says:

    Interesting about Schultz. I often feel alone and unloved and depressed and on top of that I am not rich, famous or accomplished. I really thought about it and realized that even if I were rich, accomplished, famous and hooked up with someone that I’d still feel alone, unloved and depressed. No medication on earth helps me, except for the occasional chocolate binge (keeps Dementors away) and wild dance night. Still I want to be more Lois. I need to get more jiggity-jiggity.

    Now, excuse me. I am going to put on my power suit, get my briefcase and go back to being Clarice, sigh.

  82. Cadence says:

    Wow, I was Lois (65%) followed by Mo (60%). I totally get the Mo bit (I’m just a little anal) but Lois is…

    You are Lois, the ladykiller who’s mellowed into an awesome, loyal girlfriend. Give yourself permission to read the newest Harry Potter at Camp Trans.

    I’m definitely not a ladykiller, unfortunately!

  83. Silvio Soprani says:

    Dear Cat Pimp,
    If you indulge in Wild Dance Night than you are probably in a much more hopeful situation than Schultz. Perhaps if you buy a new leotard (or utilikilt) it will motivate you to go wildly jiggity-ing even more often. (Although I confess, I can’t imagine either Clarice OR Mo in a Utilikilt, but perhaps that is my failure of imagination.)

  84. shadocat says:

    Hey, I took the Harry Potter quiz too–seems I’m Sirius Black with a Ron Weasley rising…can you imagine?

  85. LondonBoy says:

    OK, I’ve thought about my being diagnosed as a “Lois”:

    Although I think of myself as a “Mo”, for the next week or so I’ve decided to get in touch with my inner Lois ( and possibly my inner Sparrow too ). I wore a black leather jacket to work this morning, and my hair was gelled into a small quiff. I’m not sure that I can mimic Lois’ insouciance and savoir-vivre, but I’ll give it a try. I’ve been thinking about catching up on my Harry Potter anyway…

    I’ll let you know how I get on.

  86. Dianne says:

    I’m Mo, with a strong dash of Stuart.

  87. Silvio Soprani says:

    You scored as a Sparrow
    You are Sparrow! You’ve been distracted from your usual spiritual pursuits by work and family. Get your hubby to babysit one night a week while you study Buddhist meditation at the local sangha.
    Sparrow 90%
    Lois 80%

    I took the quiz again. I am STILL a mixture of Sparrow and Lois. What a strange amalgam. that’s like the love child of the Dalai Lama and Ellen! (Did I really just say that?)

    (and by the way, HOW BOUT THAT DALAI LAMA? He seems to like George W. Now that is REAL compassion in action.)

  88. Silvio Soprani says:

    Shado–Very Funny, unless you are serious, in which case, WHERE?

  89. April says:

    just alerting you all to the fact that wikipedia’s featured article today is on truthiness. heh heh heh.

  90. April says:

    thanks shadocat, i’m 95% hermione with albus rising. no big surprise there.

  91. Duncan says:

    Somehow I don’t think Mo dotes on NPR so much these days, unless her affiliate carries Democracy Now! NPR’s too corporate, too right-wing, and has been for a very long time. Nowadays I myself rely on my community radio station for news, and listen to NPR only on Saturday mornings for Car Talk. And even that I listen to with half an ear.

  92. runnermo says:

    OHO! a Mo fo sho

  93. Aunt Soozie says:

    I think it’s working. You totally charmed/amused me by saying you were “diagnosed” as a Lois! and I could actually hear you saying, (in your cute, sexy LondonBoy accent) “I’ll let you know how I get on.”

  94. Silvio Soprani says:

    thanks, Shado!
    I am a combination of LUPIS and SNAPE! Funny, they seem like opposites to me. Does that make me a Multiple Personality? (Although Snape is my favorite character.)

    Aunt Soozie,
    You may HEAR LondonBoy, but I SEE him in that leather jacket channeling his inner Lois. mm mm mm!
    (LB, hope you will forgive me for talking about you in front of you…)

    I was mortified to discover AFTER THE FACT that Garrison Keillor broadcast his Prairie Home Companion from Baltimore this past weekend and I knew nothing about it! I like him more than those Car Guys, although their Boston accents always cheer me up.

  95. shadocat says:

    Silvio, Snape is also my favorite and I was hoping for him—even lupin (for me) I could see, but SIRIUS BLACK??? Weasely makes perfect sense; always thought I’d fit right in with that family (the hair ‘n all…)

  96. Deena in OR says:

    Hermione here, with equal parts Lupin, Harry and Dumbledore rising.

    I was so disappointed when Jo Rowling decided to partner Remus up with Tonks. I always thought he was gay, somehow.

  97. tjb says:

    Ginny/Snape/Sirius on the HP
    Clarice on the DTWOF

  98. April says:

    Yeah I read Lupin gay too (but then ditto for Tonks, so hey…). That whole “inspiring but unemployable teacher” vibe.

  99. nessa says:

    silvio – sorry to depress you further, but also Keillor gave a reading at Enoch Pratt Public Library while in Baltimore.

    Enoch Pratt is a wonderful library to see if any of you visit Baltimore, BTW. One of the oldest public libraries in the US.

  100. Perugga says:

    I scored as a Mo (Clarice second) on the DTWOF test and a Remus Lupin (followed by Hermione) on the Harry Potter quiz. Somehow that makes sense.

    I never thought of Lupin as gay, but Kingsley Shacklebolt sure is.

  101. Ginjoint says:

    Shadocat – thanks so much for that link to the article on Schulz. I am buying that book. I never knew he had such demons…humans. They do fascinate me, to my chagrin.

  102. mscoolbear says:

    Long time lurker, first time poster.

    I’m equal parts Mo and Lois. The tie breaker was which do I agree with more “Meat It Murder” or “Count the partners on fingers, toes & an abacus.” Since I couldn’t do the latter, I justified the former by saying I always aspired to be a vegan. lol

    Mo 60%
    Lois 60%
    Clarice 55%
    Stuart 40%
    Sparrow 40%
    Toni 40%
    Sydney 35%

    For the HP quiz, I’m Sirius with equal parts of Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, Dumbledore and Lupin rising. Sheesh! I don’t know WHO I am. πŸ˜›

  103. ksbel6 says:

    Thanks shado…that was fun…I wonder what type of being we would get if we crossed Mo with Harry?

    Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is…?
    You scored as a Harry Potter
    You can be a little reckless and hot-headed at times, but a more brave and courageous friend would be hard to find.
    Harry Potter
    Remus Lupin
    Ron Weasley

    Nice…I must match Harry with my trans side…but I always thought Lupin was an excellent teacher πŸ™‚

  104. Cyn Stern says:

    Interesting quiz. My personality didn’t match up with any characters by more than 65%, and then it was an equal tossup between Stewart and Sydney. (–Say WHAT?! Could there be two more-opposite characters?)

    I always say that, “You don’t need to be a dyke to love ‘DTWOF.'” But maybe one does need to be a dyke in order to have that quiz apply? (Maybe I should take it again, switching the genders on questions regarding dating history and see how it comes out that way…nah…waste of time…it’s just a for-fun li’l quiz.)

  105. Blushing Girl says:

    Another Stuart here. Alison, I guess we’re too much alike to ever be attracted to one another. Well, rats.

  106. Xena Fan says:

    I’m a 65% Mo. I always did strongly identified with the lonely Mo in the pancake restaurant (very early strip). However, I don’t plan on buying a striped turtleneck in the future.

  107. Angi says:

    I’m 65% Clarice! I always had myself pegged as a Mo – and actually another DTWOF quiz I took pegged me as a Mo. Strange.

  108. Silvio Soprani says:

    Now that I think about it, Harry IS a lot like Mo in personality.. (Remember the strip where Mo dressed up like Harry for a promotional event at the bookstore, and she got all pissed off when a kid thought she really was Harry?)

    Nice to meet you! FINALLY a fellow Baltimorean on this blog! Yes, the Enoch Pratt Free Library is a palace. A cathedral on Cathedral Street, if you will.

    It might as well be a cathedral, I go there at least once a week.

    too bad about Garrison Keillor, but at least the whole show is archived on NPR, so I plan to sit down and listen to the whole thing soon.

  109. Silvio Soprani says:

    I meant, “Nessa.” (I don’t know you well enough yet to lop letters off your name.)

  110. Leslei says:

    yeeeeah i’m a Sydney.

  111. mycroft says:

    Crap. I am a “Mo,” when I was really hoping to be a Clarice, Sydney or Lois. *sigh* I’d whine about it, but that would just reinforce my Mo-ness, so maybe I’ll go slip into male drag to up my Lois Quotient. πŸ˜‰

  112. Mac guy says:

    Damn. Stuart is my role-model (probably more true than it ought to be) but hark, I am Lois.

  113. Beth Owen says:

    Cool it says I’m 85% Lois, thats neat seeing as I’m TS and that would be as close as it could get to Janis.

  114. mlk says:

    I scored as Mo (65%) with Lois a close second (60%). the Mo came as no surprise — the Lois delighted me.

    BamfChyck, like you I just don’t have Lois’ sex life. fortunately, she has other wonderful qualities. I admire her ease with children and all around mellow approach to life. perhaps that’s where you’re similar? or is it your catholic taste in women??!?!?

  115. Karen S says:

    Mo…Mo. 100%., with a lot of Sparrow.

    I think it was the guilt-ridden liberal part. I just hate to see Mo pigeonholed like that, though. πŸ˜‰

  116. Alexa says:

    I’m 85% Sparrow…fair enough, I’m a bi-dyke in a relationship with a man…no child and no esoteric tendencies though;)

  117. Deena in OR says:

    Well, so much for Lupin! J K Rowling outed Dumbledore yesterday. Kinda makes me wonder about McGonagall…

  118. g-lo says:

    I scored some major Lois. Pretty much 5% down for the rest of them in the Lois-Clarice-Sydney regular pattern before the 10% cut on the rest.

    I suspect the quiz Lois-centric or we all secretly/not-secretly want to have the qualities that are keyed for Lois in this quiz.

    Luckily I have nothing to worry about because the ad on my results page promises to tell me who my next boyfriend is. Don’t tell my wife, please.

    What I love about these quiz things is figuring out the logic that is used to make the quiz, the model of thought/meaning and all that. Even more juicy when it’s a fictitious character-set in play. Anyone else?

  119. Annie in Hawaii says:

    Aloha All! Quelle surprise??? (WTF?) This quiz must be flawed because I feel like I channel Sydney, complete with academic la-la…c’est la vie.

    Quiz results:
    Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?
    You scored as a Lois

    You are Lois, the ladykiller who’s mellowed into an awesome, loyal girlfriend. Give yourself permission to read the newest Harry Potter at Camp Trans.

    Lois 75%
    Toni 65%
    Stuart 60%
    Sparrow 60%
    Sydney 55%
    Mo 50%
    Clarice 40%

  120. Wow says:

    I’m Lois and Mo equally.

  121. Nico says:

    Lois 75%, Sydney 70%, and requiring a tie-breaker question (with Sparrow and Stuart, both of whom work my last nerve, tying for last place)…

    Wholly unsurprising. But so much fun.

  122. mqdjzhiab apno says:

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  123. JaymeBright says:

    Woot, it’s just as I thought. Ok, 90 percent of me is Mo and 90 percent of me is Sydney; however, 80 percent of me is Lois. Boggling. I do love Lois though, great character. Maybe if I hadn’t said yes to the “Drag Kings are sexy” question…oh well, true is true.

    Ha, “a guilt-ridden, kindhearted liberal who doesn’t relax enough.” If I hadn’t said that “meat is murder” is more true than “the spelling of “womyn” is hilarious. And unsophisticated”, I would still have been described as an ambitious academic with a penchant for buying upscale clothing–also true. Oh well, I’m off to buy some Morningstar and finish my term paper.

  124. ocean says:

    i clicked on the quiz at my public library & it said “ACCESS DENIED. the site you have clicked on is classified as pornography.”