sunday morning

April 11th, 2010 | Uncategorized

Holly and I were having a fight at breakfast—now we can’t remember what about, something having to do with me interfering with her cooking—when Holly said “Look!”


We started all these flats of seeds last weekend. And we’ve been watering them and moving them in and out of the sun. But then we had a very busy couple of days, and stopped paying attention. Now this morning there are all these little green shoots! It was a weird, science-fiction moment, as if they were sprouting instantaneously before our eyes.


Oh, and check this out! I tried to get a picture of the bear which was very delicately cleaning out our bird feeder the other night, but all you can see are her eyes.

bear eyes

142 Responses to “sunday morning”

  1. Reinhilde Brezowsky says:

    I send greetings from austria! The bear photo fascinates me, and I wonder what kind of bear it is? Reinhilde

  2. A black bear, Reinhilde!

  3. shadocat says:

    Holly wears an apron? that’s awesome!

  4. Holly and I were having a fight at breakfast— now we can’t remember what about

    Ha ha, love it! Sounds just like yesterday morning at my house. If only we had some sprouting plants for distraction!

  5. How do you keep the cat from eating the shoots?

  6. Bechadelic1 says:

    Aww, I had the roughest ever day at work and this entire post is the first thing that has made me smile today – especially the photograph of the little sprouting plant so eager to add some colour to this drab world.

    Now I want to know how AB knew the bear was a ‘her’?

  7. Seems like she was turning to look at you. Perhaps she has a notice up on FurBook this morning about her dyke sighting last night — with directions to a “nifty little neighborhood spot offering banana granola mixed with bacon fat, not to be missed!”

  8. Calico says:

    Beet shoots?

  9. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Dharma (#5)

    Judging from the photo where AB is hauling Dr. W. off by the scruff of her neck, I’d guess she’s not having success at keeping the cat out of the seed flats.

    I had a failed experiment in my kitchen with a flat of mixed herbs. I couldn’t keep the cat from either laying on top of it (it was in a nice sunny location, perfect for seeds and cats), digging into it (“Lookit! I can throw dirt all over the kitchen counter and floor!”), or the last straw, using it as a litterbox (“This box is so much nicer than that clay-filled one in the bathroom.”). Cat piss and basil are not a good combination, so into the trash it went, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

    Felines train their humans, not the other way around.

  10. Bechadelic1 says:

    @ HoH # 9
    Oh how I empathize. I type this while looking sadly at what used to be a nice indoor plant with more than just one leaf on it. What was I thinking! It didn’t stand any chance once my two furries laid eyes on it. Besides, how could I forget, it’s their house, not mine!

  11. Kate L says:

    (Bechadelic 1. #6) Sorry for your rogh day! 🙁 Also, I just want to know how A.B. can be so sure those two glowing eyes in the dark belong to a bear! Well, some things in this time-line are normal to me. There’s a Detective Olivia Benson Law & Order marathon on TV this afternoon! Now, if someone could just explain what an autographed photograph of Law & Order’s Sam Waterston is doing framed on the wall of the Kate L in this timeline…

  12. Bechadelic1 says:

    @ Kate L # 11
    Thanks Kate 🙂

    Let’s also say that if I ever saw two glowing eyes looking at me through the window, I wouldn’t be stopping to collect my camera as I raced out the back way.

  13. Alex K says:

    A… bear?

    Do not leave the clearing…

    Also from THE EGG AND I —

    “Of course, some people will say that the woods were the bear’s natural domain and just by being there Bob was bothering her. But those woods were our property!

  14. Wow, Alex K, someone else who’s read The Egg And I. One of those beloved, beautiful books tainted by a strain of intermittent vicious racism.

  15. Ian says:

    @Calico(8): I thought beet seeds as well. Or possibly tomatoes?

    I’ve spent the last 3 days in glorious April sunshine at my allotment (community garden). I’ve been planting potatoes, sweet peas and sorting out bamboo canes and sticks to grow peas up.

    My seedlings are happily hardening off in a little 4 shelf plastic greenhouse. Garden peas, mange tout (sugar snap peas), more sweet pea seedlings, broad beans (fava), Brussels sprouts and purple sprouting broccoli and leeks. It really is a magical, mysterious moment when the plants bravely send up their shoots, risking mice, slugs and snails and kitty-kats. The leaves have sprouted on our fruit bushes. It’s my favourite time of year at the allotment.

  16. Kat says:

    Aw, Ian, it makes me miss England to hear about your allotment. When I was living in London (well, in a not very nice place just outside of it), my cousin (who also grew up in the States) and I had a “Thanksgiving” meal, where she made a pumpkin pie from a pumpkin she grew in her allotment…I also miss going running in the park near my house and jogging past the same people several afternoons a week as they puttered about in their allotments.

  17. hairball_of_hope says:

    Ah Mother England… why do we have to read UK newspapers to find breaking news about US war crimes? (Purely rhetorical question, of course. Money rules.)

    From the “Wake Up And Smell The Coffee” Dept., comes word that a senior Bush Administration official has signed a legal declaration in support of a Sudanese man who was illegally detained at Guantanamo Bay. The official, Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, was Colin Powell’s chief of staff at the State Dept.


    Quoting from the article:

    George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld covered up that hundreds of innocent men were sent to the Guantánamo Bay prison camp because they feared that releasing them would harm the push for war in Iraq and the broader War on Terror, according to a new document obtained by The Times.

    The accusations were made by Lawrence Wilkerson, a top aide to Colin Powell, the former Republican Secretary of State, in a signed declaration to support a lawsuit filed by a Guantánamo detainee. It is the first time that such allegations have been made by a senior member of the Bush Administration.

    Colonel Wilkerson, who was General Powell’s chief of staff when he ran the State Department, was most critical of Mr Cheney and Mr Rumsfeld. He claimed that the former Vice-President and Defence Secretary knew that the majority of the initial 742 detainees sent to Guantánamo in 2002 were innocent but believed that it was “politically impossible to release them.”

    General Powell, who left the Bush Administration in 2005, angry about the misinformation that he unwittingly gave the world when he made the case for the invasion of Iraq at the UN, is understood to have backed Colonel Wilkerson’s declaration.

    Colonel Wilkerson, a long-time critic of the Bush Administration’s approach to counter-terrorism and the war in Iraq, claimed that the majority of detainees – children as young as 12 and men as old as 93, he said – never saw a US soldier when they were captured. He said that many were turned over by Afghans and Pakistanis for up to $5,000. Little or no evidence was produced as to why they had been taken.

    [… snip …]

    Referring to Mr Cheney, Colonel Wilkerson, who served 31 years in the US Army, asserted: “He had absolutely no concern that the vast majority of Guantánamo detainees were innocent … If hundreds of innocent individuals had to suffer in order to detain a handful of hardcore terrorists, so be it.”

    He alleged that for Mr Cheney and Mr Rumsfeld “innocent people languishing in Guantánamo for years was justified by the broader War on Terror and the small number of terrorists who were responsible for the September 11 attacks.”

    He added: “I discussed the issue of the Guantánamo detainees with Secretary Powell. I learnt that it was his view that it was not just Vice-President Cheney and Secretary Rumsfeld, but also President Bush who was involved in all of the Guantánamo decision making.”

    [… snip …]

    He signed the declaration in support of Adel Hassan Hamad, a Sudanese man who was held at Guantánamo Bay from March 2003 until December 2007. Mr Hamad claims that he was tortured by US agents while in custody and yesterday filed a damages action against a list of American officials.

  18. Ann S. in Australia says:

    Re: partner conflict. I am reading “Passionate Marriage” by David Schnarch. Differentiation, anyone?

  19. little gator says:

    i’ve read it too. the original Ma and Pa Kettle were Ukrainian.

  20. really, little gator? that changes things somehow. i always liked the respect with which she wrote about ma kettle, despite her own class crap it crept through.

  21. Kat says:

    I think that if I looked out and saw gleaming bear eyes, my first thought would not be “I’ll get the camera,” but rather “ARHAHAHAHAHARRRRRGGGHGGHGHGG!!!!!”

  22. Ian says:

    @Kat(16): Aww Kat, I’m glad I brought back some happy memories for you!

    Allotments are one of the better things about Britain. For those who don’t know, they’re 30’x90′ plots of land, usually in a big field given to ordinary working folk to grow their own veg, fruit and flowers. After the land was grabbed and enclosed by the aristocracy in the 18th and 19th centuries, people were protesting that they had no common land left on which to grow their own subsistence crops and feed their animals. So the concept of allotments was created so the workers and farm labourers could have some land to grow their own food.

    The land they’re on is usually state-owned and the plots rented out at a very low annual rate. It creates a little community of growers who help each other out with knowledge and practical assistance. People find materials that have been dumped or recycle materials to build structures on their plots. And planting things and tending them has been the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done!

    Sorry, I could bore for England on this subject. But I do think it’s a good idea that would be a good export to other countries.

  23. Diamond says:

    Ah Ian, yes our half-plot allotment in more northern climes is looking glorious too – flowers on the gooseberries and frog spawn in the ponds.

    Unfortunately there’s a seven-year waiting list for allotments here – maybe we need to follow the lead of nearby Todmorden in West Yorkshire. This is arguably the dyke capital of the UK, if not western Europe, the place where Oranges are Not the Only Fruit was filmed, and now the local pioneer of Cuban-style public veg planting.

    Incredible Edible Todmorden are busy digging up public flower beds, road verges, the edges of supermarket car parks and anywhere else with a bit of soil, to squeeze in a few veg, fruit trees and herbs. Inspiring or what?


  24. lizzie from london says:

    Love the bear’s eyes. Love the seedlings.

  25. Kate L says:

    Look out, A.B. and Holly! Glowing red eyes out the window in the dark is how every alien abduction story I’ve ever heard has started! :0

    There is an article in today’s Huffington Post about “The World’s Best Subway Systems”. London’s system was best in Europe. Washington D.C.’s system didn’t even place in the top ten! This surprises me. I’ve never taken a ride on any subway system other than San Francisco’s BART (once the wonder of the transportation world as it dove under San Francisco Bay, now just a shabby shell of its 1970’s splendor). But everyone raves about “DC’s subway”. This is interesting to me, because my family lived in nearby Arlington, Virginia, for a year in the mid-60’s. They had dug out exactly one block of the subway system, and wisecracking District denizens joked that was all they would ever excavate. But now I hear that it runs all the way out to Friendship Airport (uh, Washington Baltimore International, as it is now called).

  26. Fester Bestertester says:


    Speaking on behalf of American Harry Potter fans everywhere:

    What exactly is “frog spawn”? (Is that what we would call tadpoles?)

  27. judybusy says:

    Ian,thanks for clearing up the mystery of allotments! I’ve always figured they were akin to American community gardens, and now I know.

    Holly and Alison look like they’re growing enough to feed themselves for the year.

    I, too, could go on for _pages_ about the garden. Starting things from seed is just so amazing. I check my flats twice day for new stuff coming up, often using a magnifying glass to inspect truly tiny things like foxgloves. I am particularly pleased that my flowering tobacco and Verbena boniarensis have sprouted–for some reason, they are stubborn for me!

    Years ago one of my cats pulled up a seedling, got scolded, and hasn’t done it since. All of them, of course, do prefer drinking from the pan of water I use to bottom-water the flats.

  28. Maxine says:

    Bears like bacon. Who knew?

  29. Antoinette says:

    Bears like everything. Bears and humans are unmixy things. Don’t encourage them.

    I can’t have anything that grows in my house because of feline intervention. Pet birds, too. When you live with someone long enough, you sort of learn to head off possible bones of contention.

  30. Antoinette says:

    Also, I’m tickled silly that my wisteria is producing a boatload of flowers this year. Up til now, it’s been disappointing. I’m afraid I’m not very evolved as a gardener.

  31. Khatgrrl says:

    A potted plant won’t last 3 minutes in our house. Cat #1 eats all things green and leafy! Leading to a whole host of other issues later! We are forced to buy plants for the garden from a local nursery. Perhaps someday, when he curls up his little cat toenails, we can try growing our own!

    Love the bear eyes! So much for the bacon grease.

  32. I wonder if Ma and Pa Kettle read “Passionate Marriage?”

    @Maggie. Have been laughing and laughing about FurBook.

    My cat doesn’t seem interested in the flats of seedlings. Probably because she’s an indoor/outdoor cat, and these packaged versions of the outside don’t interest her.

    Oh! But the only reason I knew there was a bear outside was because I went out on the deck for a breath of fresh air (okay, to cool down from a hot flash) and the cat came along. Then all of a sudden she GROWLED and ran like a shot back inside the house. I ran too, for the flashlight, then came back and saw the big black bear, who was quite unperturbed by all our ruckus.

  33. Diamond says:

    Fester Bestertester 26, Well, to us, frog spawn is the jelly with little commas in that grow into tadpoles. The stuff that the cat eats if you’re not careful. When I was a child something very similar used to be served as pudding at school and in hospital (but nowhere else) and in that instance the correct term was tapioca.

  34. Kate L says:

    (AB #32) I can remember my first hot flash. I was minding my own business in a room full of students and other teachers, when suddenly I WAS ON FIRE ! I looked around, and no one else seemed to be uncomfortable! It was SO unfair!! No bears, though.

  35. This harks back a thread or two, but — just ran across 10 Simple Google Search Tricks, only one of which I knew about. For all of us not (yet) dealing with our online addiction…


    Alison, now we have proof that hot flashes can be hazardous to one’s health! And kudos to Dr. Winnecott from Dinah, who admires the fact that you warned your person about the large wildlife within the perimeter alarm AND sensibly ran indoors to let her fend for herself.

  36. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    AB, those golden eyes set at just that angle look like a bear to me and Jerome! Glad the growl tipped you off. Great picture, too.

  37. Ian says:

    So the bacon/granola mix you put out for the woodpeckers to stop them eating your house has attracted the bears instead?

    Simple solution: feed the woodpeckers to the bears!

    That is a fantastic photo. Like others, I’d’ve run screaming into the house and pushed heavy furniture against the door!

  38. Kat says:

    This is off topic, but I’d like some advice from the collection of remarkable people here:

    I’m in the starting phase of putting together a website for myself. My “I’m a professional singer. Look how professional I am. See? Hire me, please!” website. I would like it to have pictures, a bio, audio clips, my little “mission statement” kind of thing.

    A lot of singers just piggyback off of Classical Singer’s site, but just between us, the Classical Singer sites look like ass….(um, in a bad way, not like the ass of your beloved).

    I’ve been looking at templates, and have been most frustrated by the yuckiness of most of those, as well. This morning though, I came upon this template:


    The thing is, this template is for a “flash” template. Boyfriend thinks that flash sites are riskier and less accessible (super hard for the visually impaired, apparently), as well as more complicated because of a lack of internal linkability.

    Or something.

    I’m not savvy enough to evaluate all of that, so what do y’all think? I’d especially love the input of all of you tech minded folks, maybe even Mentor?

    Okay, I’ll return us to this regularly scheduled thread, now.

  39. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Kat (#38)

    I’m not a web guru, but BF is correct, Flash *is* not at all friendly to folks with vision or motion impairments. Also, Flash is a bandwidth hog. You pay for webhosting based on how many Mb get transferred per month, and Flash will up that stat (and costs) considerably. You will already have some high-bandwidth content (streaming audio or downloadable MP3 clips of your singing and voiceover samples, for example), but those at least show off your talents, so it’s worth paying for that bandwidth. Flash just shows off your lemming side without adding value. 😉

    As for risk, BF is correct on that score too. Flash poses some security risks, which is why savvy security folks block Flash from autoloading on their browsers.

    Flash also makes pages load more slowly, no matter how big a pipe you’ve got to the Internet. I use Flashblock extension in Firefox specifically because Flash is a useless bandwidth hog and a security risk (do I *really* want to see all those stupid animated ads on the webpage? Not just no, HELL NO!).

    Last, but not least, Apple is moving away from Flash support in favor of HTML5. The iPad does not support Flash (and according to Steve Jobs, it never will).

    I think the best websites are the ones with the fewest gimcrack doodads, easy to navigate with nav links in the same place on every page, no Java, no frames, and with simple and elegant design.

    You want your musical talents to shine on the website, not the glitzy design of the website itself.

    To paraphrase Jim Carville’s admonition to Bill Clinton, “It’s the content, stupid.”

    Content: You’d want high and low-res press-ready publicity photos of yourself, some bio info, and lots of samples of your work that can be either streamed or downloaded. And of course, contact info.

    Don’t put a ‘mailto’ on the page unless you want tons of spam. Use a contact form template.

  40. Kat says:

    Thank you muchly, Hairball. We’ve already decided not to use that exact template, because it requires paying that site lotsa money if you actually want your own domain name, which blows.

    We’re thinking of rigging something similar looking (minus the fancy flash image changer doodads).

    And thanks for the “no flash on new apple products” reminder. I had totally forgotten about that!

  41. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Maggie (#35)

    I knew all of those except for use of ‘..’ to specify a numerical range.

    One of my most-used Google search tricks (after the site: operator) is package tracking. Enter the Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL, etc. tracking number in the Google search box, and you’ll get a link to the specific shipper’s website with all the relevant tracking info.

    It’s much faster and easier than navigating the individual shipper websites, and definitely easier than digging out all the tracking e-mails in the daily deluge.

    I keep my list of current tracking numbers in a text file or spreadsheet for quick cut-and-paste into Google. (Lest you think I’m an online shopaholic, I’m usually tracking multiple shipments from multiple vendors for client projects.)

    For those of you who really want to bone up on advanced Google search features, check out the Google Guide Advanced Operators cheatsheet:


  42. hairball_of_hope says:

    BTW, note that a few days ago, Mentor took up Maggie’s suggestion and put the basic HTML codes acceptable on this blog at the bottom of the comment block. Thank you Mentor.

    I’ve been wondering if his feline helped him with the grammar… “HTML tags that you can included in your reply”

    It’s almost LOLspeak… “We can haz HTML…”

    [Got it. Thanks –Mentor]

  43. Laurel says:

    Jiminy crickets, a bear! I will cease to complain about squirrels on my suet. (and possums on my porch, raccoons on my roof – gee, this is fun!) Speaking of cats and plants, does anyone have suggestions for nice indoor ones that won’t kill the cats if they eat them? I had been thinking I wanted some. Bonus if they’re not delicate, as I have something of a black thumb.

  44. judybusy says:

    Antoinette: please know that I am insanely envious of your wisteria! It isn’t hardy here in Minnesota. Enjoy!

  45. Aunt Soozie says:

    The seedling is swiss chard… so says the caption. One of my favorites to start early…. hearty plant and yummy to eat.

  46. Bechadelic1 says:

    @Laurel # 43
    I have a slightly blackish thumb myself so I took a look at the card that was hung around the moss stick of the only indoor plant that seems to survive me and the cats combined. Its scientific name is ‘scindapsus aureus’. I read online that it’s commonly called ‘Devil’s Ivy’. I only recognize it by sight.

    Hmm, I just asked the furries if they would warn me of any impending danger ever. They just ignored my question. Alison, you are far braver than I will ever be.

    And @ Maggie and HoH, thanks ladies for posting links to the excellent google search tips.

  47. shadocat says:

    This is a bit off topic (and selfish) but I’m having some pretty major abdominal surgery tomorrow, and I just want to ask if some of you folks would keep me in your thoughts–now back to bears, plants and bacon!

  48. nel says:

    shadocat (#47)
    I will most definitely keep you in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope it goes easily and well. Blessings.

  49. judybusy says:

    shadocat #47–good luck with the surgery, and do what the nurses tell you! The first walk’s the worst! Also, not at all selfish–there can never be enough good wishes for something like that.

  50. hairball_of_hope says:

    @shadocat (#47)

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hurry back, we’ll keep a rasher of bacon warm for you.

  51. Ian says:

    @shadocat(47): Shadocat, I wish you the best of luck for tomorrow, and I hope it goes really well. Sending positive thoughts and healing vibes through the ether to you! Lots of hugs and judybusy is right – you can never have enough hugs and good wishes for something like that.

    @Aunt Soozie (says check your boobies)(45): My allotments are very ‘straight’ and traditional and the old men in their cloth caps are very wary of innovations. Last year I grew Rainbow Chard instead of Swiss Chard, which is the same plant, only the stems are different, vivid colours. In my whimsical way, it was a method of planting a rainbow flag that felt vaguely subversive! Somewhat ironically I’ve always been a bit wary of eating it, so I’ve not tried it yet! It’s very pretty to look at though, and survived the winter snows.

  52. Kat says:

    Ian, rainbow chard is delicious!

    Here’s what I do: Roughly chop it (stems and all, just break off the root-ish end). In a frying pan, heat up a bit of olive oil, then add the chard. sautee for a few minutes (hm….maybe 5?) till the leaves are just “wilted” and the stems have softened ever so slightly (if there’s a bit of crunch, it’s ok, but really, it’s to taste, so whatever). When that’s done, turn off the heat and toss with some rice wine vinegar.

    The garden teacher at the school where I work says that chard is very, very hearty, and it will not only last through the winter, but if it bolts (which is kinda crazy to see, actually), you can just cut off all but the very bottom, dig it up, and try again later.

  53. Acilius says:

    Good luck Shadocat!

  54. shadocat says:

    Thanks so much to everyone! I have to go to bed now–must be at the hospital at 5AM. You all would not believe how much this helps…

  55. Kate L says:

    Good luck, shadowcat! 🙂 I’m sure that your major encounter with modern medicine will be more positive and affirming than my supposedly routine encounter earlier today. I was having my teeth cleaned, when my dental hygenist started asking me pointed questions like “Do you throw up a lot?”. Turns out, she was asking me if I’m bulimic! I’m not, but I have a habit of crunching up the hormone replacement tablets I take every day before I swallow them. I wonder if that could that be responsible for signs of acidity in my teeth?

  56. I’ll be thinking about you too, Shado!

  57. --MC says:

    Good thoughts to you today from this part of the world, Shadocat.

  58. Kate L says:

    If someone has an update on Shadocat, please post the news here!

    Rachel Maddow was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night. Turns out that she was born in 1973. Rachel Maddow is literally young enough to be my daughter! :0 Oh, but what a proud parent I would be! 🙂

  59. Andrew B says:

    Shado, I hope your recovery is going well.

    Kat, one other problem with flash is that it can make your site hard for search engines to index. Search engines index text, and they can’t find text that is inside a flash presentation. It sounds like you’re already convinced not to use flash, but the general point is worth remembering — it would also apply to text that has been incorporated into a jpeg, for instance. A text caption that accompanies an image will get indexed. If you try to give your text an unusual appearance by incorporating it into the image file, it won’t get indexed.

  60. Bechadelic1 says:

    This is really late due to time zone differences, but just wanted to say: Shadocat, I’m thinking of you and hoping you have a quick recovery from the surgery.

  61. Dr. Empirical says:

    Shadocat is probably out of surgery by now, but may not be conscious. Wifi access being what it is in Recovery, we may not hear from her for a few days. Please don’t interpret no news as bad news, everyone!

    When you do get back, Shadocat, I hope you’re feeling better. May all your side effects be good ones!

  62. judybusy says:

    Ian, I am trying “Bright Lights” from T & M this year. I think I need to water more, as got nothin’ a week after planting.

    And here, another item for those who love food and geekess, all in one article!

    OMG, I think I just made a link! Now that’s a PITA! Why hasn’t someone made that a hella easier?!

  63. Aunt Soozie says:

    Shado.. sending love and hugs and well wishes to you!
    Ian… yep… Kat is right. Chard is yummy. I cook it similarly… I like to use a tiny bit of sesame oil in with the olive oil… just a tiny splash for flavor. I toss and saute the leaves for a bit and then add some water and put a lid on to steam it until it is tender but not over cooked. You can serve it with sesame or flax seeds tossed on top or just as is… a very sweet green… not bitter at all. the stems are good too! Rainbow chard… very subversive… but that’s some good eatin’ !

  64. Kat says:

    Maggie commanded me to share this with you all:
    word origins as told by dinosaurs (yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but is awesome!)

  65. Judybusy #62, congrats on the link, and I did fond it validating. I too cannot abide the taste of cilantro, which for soneone who lives Tejas cuisine and Asian foods is a real PITA, as you put it.

  66. LOVES Tejas cuisine, I meant to say, although come to think of it…

    Going back to touching my boobies while thinking of allotments.

  67. judybusy says:

    Um, Maggie, the PITA was for the HTML sh*t I had to type and re-type to make the hyperlink. I adore cilantro, although the first couple times I had it, I thought folks weren’t rinsing the dishes properly. I still luv ya, though! And thanks for that last, lovely image!

  68. Ian says:

    @judybusy: T&M ‘Bright Lights’ is what I grew last year. It took a couple of weeks for it to germinate. Don’t water too much, just keep it moist. So to speak!

    @MaggieJochild(66): Thank you – I’ve been giggling for the last 5 minutes at that!

    Thinking of such things, I’ve just finished watching a gardening programme where the presenter named her two chickens Gertrude and Alice. Hmmmmm.

  69. Ian says:

    PS Thanks for the chard tips Kat and Aunt Soozie. I’ll bring some back from the plot when I go up tomorrow and cook it then. I might stir fry it a little with mushrooms and peppers. I’m sure you’ll be on tenterhooks to know what I think of it!

    Oh, and I like coriander (cilantro), but mostly in curries where the ‘exoticism’ isn’t noticeable.

  70. judybusy says:

    Thanks, Ian–I started beets inside and they were up in no time at all, so I expected the same of chard. Now that I think of it, the beets were on a heatmat, so that likely helped tons.

  71. judybusy says:

    I clearly need to log off, and head home if I posting here so much! But it’s bacon-related, and you just might want this.

  72. judybusy says:

    Durn. Good thing I double-checked the link. It was a fabric bacon case for an iPad for sale on Etsy, but as you see, it’s been sold!

    Good evening, all. Heading home to iced coffee, a walk around the garden (has that chard come up YET?), and then off to eat a friend’s incredibly good cooking.

  73. falloch says:

    Sorry – have not had time to read posts but here is a great site for black bears – if it hasn’t been mentioned earlier. These folks are so amazing with black bears – learning about them without drugging them, etc. – and a webcam all winter following Lily and her pregnancy and then giving birth to her cub


    Hope you enjoy it.

  74. Kate L says:

    Bear eyes! Everywhere I look! Bear eyes!!! Oh, wait, it was just a dream… (whew!).

  75. Is it just me or do those eyes seem unusually far apart? Like, it was a MASSIVE bear — maybe a Cave Bear. Kate, don’t listen.

  76. hairball_of_hope says:

    Seemingly off-topic from bacon, bears, and cats (oh my) comes this piece from CNN iReport on transgender issues, as reported by transfolk themselves:


  77. Kate L says:

    Prejudice against the trans community in my own local LGBT community is pretty rampant. The prejudice is so bad, one local LGBT “ally” does not even recognize the word transsexual; another asked if transphobia was a “real word” while she was attending the Transgender Day of Remembrance a few years ago. With “allies” like this…

  78. Calico says:

    I read the CNN piece yesterday.
    I can only hope people will stop judging and preconceiving.

    On a couple of sad notes, Melissa and Tammy have broken up, and the NE bat population is still dwindling. Bat link below.

  79. Acilius says:

    @Kate L: Sorry to hear about the transphobia in your circle. Reminds me of a case in reverse of that, a transwoman who used to be active in the Quaker meeting the Believer and I attend who quit coming and joined a very conservative Lutheran church when she found out that our choir director was cohabiting with a woman to whom he was not married. It also appalled her that several other members were openly homosexual and it had not occurred to anyone but her to object to this. Apparently in her world, people who need gender reassignment surgery are A-OK, but all other sexual minorities are evil.

    @Calico: Sorry to hear that New England’s bats are taking the news about Melissa and Tammy so hard. They must have sensed it well in advance if their population is already dwindling. That sonar of theirs is incredible!

  80. Ready2Agitate says:

    Looks like a great piece on CNN on our trans friends and allies! Look fw to reading it later. (And I heard it here first, natch… ;).

    Late to the show, but hope all is well with Lady Shadocat.

  81. Ready2Agitate says:

    This just in:
    Obama Widens Medical Rights for Same-Sex Partners


    Finally: something. Better late than never. Not huge, and not as much as we’d hoped, but at least it expands hospital visitation rights….

  82. j.b.t. says:

    I’m really sad about the bats! This is horrible! 95% of the population decimated? What is that going to mean for the rest of the ecosystem?

    Don’t know who Melissa and Tammy are.

    Shadocat, I hope you are well.


  83. geogeek says:

    So, this is totally off-topic and not even about bacon, but I have to ask the gathered opinion-havers here about facial hair and women, or at least woman-ish people who are generally seen as women by the straight world. I have clusters of 10-20 long curly hairs, two on the front sides of my chin, two on the undersides of my chin/almost to my neck. I used to not care, and then I became terribly self-conscious and plucked a bunch of them about a year ago. Students, they made me paranoid, what can I say? Do you have feelings about your own non-conforming hairy bits? Do you resist the urge to conform, or find that you’re more comfortable if you do? Note: I’m aware there are plenty of more femme types here who are pretty content with shaving things like legs or pits, and I’m curious about your points of view, too, even though I could not be described as femme except by a pretty wide stretch.

  84. Dr. Empirical says:

    Calling back an old topic: I saw Kathleen Turner as Molly Ivins last night. Great play, great performance!

    Two beefs, though, one on content and one on performance. First, the material played up Molly’s fondness for conservative buffoons as a source of material, downplaying her rage at their actions. I’m guessing that’s because people who go to high-end theater tend to be conservative.

    Second, although Turner’s Texas accent was competent, she spoke much too quickly. The play should have been half again as long just to accomodate Molly’s Texas drawl.

    Still, the show was a wonderful tribute to a grand lady.

    The play is Red Hot Patriot: The Kickass Wit of Molly Ivins.

  85. Dr. Empirical says:

    Even though it was me who warned that we’re not likely to hear from Shadocat for a few days at least, I’m finding myself checking this blog much more frequently than usual, to see if she’s checked in.

  86. Calico says:

    #79 – HAHAHA!

    #82 – Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels-Etheridge.

    I’m actually sadder about the bats, because they have no choice in their medical matters, or any matters, actually.

    Hope you are doing well, Shado! Take it easy.

  87. Geogeek, I’d have a full-on beard and mustache if I didn’t pluck/shave. Seems to kick in for a lot of dykes around 25 or so. When I began asking women (not just lesbians) how they dealt with it, I discovered around half had serious facial hair — so much for it being masculine. And it very much was linked to race/ethnicity, which a woman named Giovanne Capone wrote about in a long-ago Sinister Wisdom, the racism of “smooth” women as “real” women. But then, all masculine/feminine binaries are ethnocentric and tend toward heavy reinforcement of classism and racism.

    I finally caved on being a warm fuzzy dyke when I started walking with a cane and an increasingly difficult gait. I was already fat, called sir, and dressed like I had no money. I wanted there to be one part of me that wasn’t stared at, judged, or misinterpreted. Now that I’m alone most of the time, I let it all grow in and like it, actually define it as womanly. Which is assuredly is, as anything a woman does is womanly.

    I was, I must insert here, just as distressed by my Gen X friends who, upon seeing me when I “needed a shave”, would respond to it as masculine and sexy thereby. I am sick to the point of screaming by the shift back to 1950s beliefs about gender presentation. It’s all a lie and reinforcing the lie in any way is caving (as I assuredly do by shaving, I admit, but I also admit it’s a personal choice to contend with oppression, NOT a liberation stance for which I demand my own victim niche).

    Check out the depilitory/waxing/bleaching aisles of supermarkets if you doubt the numbers of women dealing with facial hair.

    So, Geogeek, I support you absolutely for whatever personal choice you make, will find you beautiful however you present/conceal yourself, AND if you take on gender lies by insisting you are a naturally hairy WOMAN, I’ll stand with you in fighting the distinct persecution you will face by resisting this culture’s definition of female (which boils down to NotMale).

  88. Kate L says:

    Did anybody see the Rachel Maddow Show last night? Rachel was talking with a woman geologist from the United States Geological Survey about the erupting volcano in Iceland! All their talk about volcanic explosivity and the water content of lava made me nostaligic for my undergraduate days, when we women geology majors would talk about divergent plate tectonic boundaries and mafic volcanism and pyroclastics and what rock hammer to buy, and and where can you go to get your hair cut short to keep it out of your face on an outcrop and gee, you have great Doc Marten hiking boots! I’m sure that back then some undergraduate women were talking about literature and perfecting their art, but to me rock lore always takes me back to the 1970’s!

  89. judybusy says:

    Geogeek, I think you should do whatever _you’re_ comfortable with. Every eight weeks or so, I get my upper lip waxed. I keep the unibrow down to a dull roar. In my younger days, I didn’t shave my legs, but do now, and so what. I’m sure some would just say I’m being gender conformist, but why should I let _any_ ideology dictate how I should look? And, yep, I know all this stuff is culturally bound/taught, but I’ve given it some thought, and this is what I like.

    There are much more important things to worry about. Like, should I take the time to get to the Mpls. farmer’s market for bacon from Tollefson’s tomorrow, or just focus on the garden? Should I hit the gym after work or lounge? Etc, etc!

  90. Calico says:

    Well, this is wonderful!
    Jennifer Knapp, Country singer, comes out:
    You go, girl!

  91. Ian says:

    This is gratuitous and I’ll shut up about it after this, but just wanted to share some pics of my allotment. It’s a work in progress now it’s in it’s 3rd year but I thought one or two of you might be interested in seeing it.

    Click here to see some pics on Facebook.

    And yes, I’m waiting for news on Shadocat as well.

  92. Lovely snaps, Ian. I’ll take your word for it about the pond. Thought at first there was a still in the background but realized it must be some sort of smoker or heater. Liked Nick the Cage and wish I could taste the Black Cherry tomatoes. Allotment envy…

  93. judybusy says:

    Oh, Ian that looks like so much fun! I didn’t even think you could do ornamental stuff like the pond. I’ve only seen just veg and some flowers in our community gardens.

  94. Aunt Soozie says:

    Oooooo Ian… that looks like fun! and i love the communal aspect of it too. Is it close to your home?
    We had some nasty storms recently and there are huge piles of branches waiting to be picked up by the township. I keep eying them and thinking that I’d love to have a fence and gate in my yard built of branches… any ideas? I couldn’t find anything online and also wondered how, in this climate, the wood would hold up over time…
    Shado… we’re all thinking of you and wishing you well!!

  95. Therry and St. Jerome says:

    Ian, your garden looks super, and perfectly enormous. Love the color and the ornamental nature of it all. I’m one of the black thumbs with furries who managed to kill a philodendron and a cactus, although not at the same time.

    Shado cat, good wishes your way and can’t wait to hear from you.

    As for the cilantro lovers out there, New York Times had an article about it that I’ll try to find and post. Here we go:
    click here!

    Hope that makes it through the filter.

  96. Ian says:

    Thanks for all the compliments people. I’ve a big beaming smile on my face at them! I’m afraid when I look at the photos I think “oooh, look at that soil!”, and “them bloomin’ weeds!” lol.

    The flowers and the pond, as well as being ornamental, have a practical purpose as well. The flowers attract bees that pollinate the veg and fruit, and other insects that eat pests. The pond provides a safe habitat for wildlife, and encourages frogs and toads that eat the British gardener’s nemesis, the slug. As far as possible, we get nature to do the jobs that a lot of people use chemicals for.

    @Aunt Soozie(94): I don’t see why not, although Nick the Cage was built by someone who learnt carpentry. I failed woodwork at school so I’m no help. But if you know a dyke who’s good with her tools and trees … I’m sure there are a few on here who’d be happy to help. The communality is a joy. To help glaze our giant greenhouse, a couple of people opposite offered more wood if we needed it, and somebody gave us some old windows to glaze it! The bricks for its foundations are reclaimed from building sites. I’m learning huge amounts from the resourcefulness of the people around me.

    Oh, and MaggieJ, I’m sure you can grow cherry tomatoes on your windowsill. If it’s not a favourite snoozing spot for your cat that is.

  97. bearded in berkeley says:

    longtime reader, first time poster because of geogeek #83
    i have had a goatee for about 15 years now and i love it. i used to pluck it but that was painful and time consuming. for some reason i never worried about the fuzz on my upper lip, but the chin was a problem. now i just let it grow/go. i think i am lucky to be in the bay area because most people don’t seem to care and when i first let it grow i actually got a lot of positive feedback from strangers.
    it is funny, i used to be one of the only women i knew with a beard and i liked the notoriety, but now there seem to be bearded women all over. i’m losing my celebrity status ;P

  98. Feminista says:

    @Ian–simply loverly! Looks like there could be some great produce sharing and trading going on this summer,as well as wonderful potlucks at early fall harvest time.

  99. Feminista says:

    P.S. And a very nice photo of you,Ian,as well.

  100. Aunt Soozie says:

    re: removal of facial hair
    my daughter and I recently shared a mother-daughter bonding experience at a local salon, Dharma Karma, getting our eyebrows threaded.

    I’m all for anyone wearing their face as they wish; shorn or adorned. Though, personally, I like the clean shaven variety. Just a preference… no matter the gender. I like the face fairly hair-free… though well shaped eyebrows are terribly important. Well shaped eyebrows frame the face and open the eyes.

    Now, who said that?
    Probably the person I paid to shape my eyebrows…
    but I’m not certain.

  101. Kate L says:

    I’ve been staying out of this discussion thread about facial hair until now for a reason! 🙁 Don’t get me started about facial hair removal!! Each touch of the electric needle really was like a bee sting!!! Hey, how about that volcano thing in Europe…

  102. Ian says:

    @Feminista(99): Awww, thank you! Your cheque’s in the post … 😉

  103. Bechadelic1 says:

    What a cool garden Ian. Kudos!

    Regarding removal of facial and/or body hair, I’m not exactly sure where I got the idea that taking it off was ‘neater’ than keeping it on. Possibly from pictures of the ‘impossibly-perfect’ woman as depicted in advertisements through the years. But somehow the idea insidiously entered my brain and stayed put. I’m of a race that tends to be genetically more hirsute, so that may be a ‘race-oriented’ contributing factor. i.e. the subconscious conditioning that ‘white is better than black and many white women tend to be less hirsute…etc. (not saying that this is generic across the board, nor am I saying that anyone else is to blame other than myself).

    So to this day, though it’s a high nuisance, I indulge the feeling in my head anyway. I’m neither typically femme, nor typically butch, nor typically anything actually. In fact, the best way to describe me would be “an average woman”!

  104. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Therry (#95)

    Good thing *you* killed off the plants before the cats got to them. Philodendron is toxic to cats.

    See the full list from the Cat Fancier Association here:


    While we’re on the topic of animal toxins, those of us with animal family members should post the Animal Poison Control Center phone number right next to the human poison control center on the phone:

    Animal Poison Control Center:

    Unfortunately, it’s not free. There’s a $50 consultation fee for the call.

    I do have to admire your black thumbs, it’s pretty hard to kill philodendron and cactii.

  105. hairball_of_hope says:

    Update… the Animal Poison Control Center fee is now $65.

    Read more about animal toxins, not just for cats, at the ASPCA website:


  106. Pam I says:

    Apparently you can kill dogs with chocolate. The more actual cocoa bean in it, the higher the toxicity. So one bar of 85% real chocolate = one dead pit bull. I’m saving that info for when it’s needed.

  107. Fester Bestertester says:

    I can see the scene now:

    Q: “Pam I, why are there 17 extra-large Premium Dark Chocolate Dove Bars in your backpack?”

    A: “Pit bull deterrence.”

  108. hairball_of_hope says:

    Back to a topic from an earlier thread, brain plasticity… researchers from MIT, Brown, and the US Dept of Veterans Affairs published a study in this week’s New England Journal of Medicine which shows that stroke patients can regain movement many years after the stroke, using physical therapy and assistive robots designed by MIT. The robots help “rewire” the brain by assisting in movement of the affected limb. Eventually, the brain rewires and can do the motor control on its own.


    The cynic in me says that absent a mandate from the government, insurance companies will refuse to pay for this therapy, or will severely limit its availability.

    (… goes back to her personal tea party, with a tall mug of darjeeling …)

  109. Feminista says:

    #103 Ian: Yer welcome,mate. *Wanders off singing Wouldn’t it be Loverly? (from My Fair Lady,which was based on George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion).**

  110. Feminista says:

    Er,that should be #102 Ian.

    Anybody heard any good jokes lately?

  111. hairball_of_hope says:

    Little known info about potential US Supreme Court nominee Diane Wood… she plays oboe and English horn in the Chicago Bar Association Symphony. Also speaks French, German, and some Russian. With that interesting combination of embouchures, she must be a hell of a kisser. 😉


  112. I sure do like how you think, HoH.

  113. Khatgrrl says:

    #110 Feminista, it is neither good or new, but…

    News Flash….Police station toilet stolen….cops have nothing to go on…film at 11

  114. Pam I says:

    On the volcano – a tiny personal connection – just come back from a 60th birthday party. At leat 20 of the guests couldnt make it cos they were stuck in Athens/Paris/Japan/Frankfurt and points beyond. The very fabulous Sarah Jane Morris – remember?- was booked to play but 3 days ago they were in Milan. No planes, so they drove non-stop across Europe to be there. Lots of mixed reactions here – it’s very very useful for us all to have this rehearsal of life without flight. But crops are now rotting in the fields in Kenya. Getting forecasts one day at a time, but it looks as though it could go on for at least many more days.

    Clearly the volcano gods need appeasing. Best suggestion for a sacrifice so far is the pope. Obviously.

  115. Ian says:


    Bob: Did you hear about my new job?
    Joe: What is it?
    Bob: It’s up at Selman’s farm, castrating goats.
    Joe: No kidding!

  116. Kate L says:

    Mark Patterson, Kathleen Sebelius’ successor as governor of Kansas, last week vetoed a restrictive anti-abortion bill recently passed by the conservative Kansas legislature (the bill, had it become law, would have allowed “family members” of women who had abortions to sue the abortion provider, among other things). I posted about this earlier today, together with a news story link about the veto, but it must not have made it through subspace and the dtwof html filter.

    [Just to let you know, it doesn’t appear to have been trapped by the regular spam-trap filter, which typically puts the message on hold awaiting “approval”. That didn’t happen in this case, so I’m not sure what happened to the message. –Mentor]

    Patterson is an interesting man. The first time Kathleen Sebelius ran for governor in 2002, Patterson was chairman of the Kansas Republican Party. When she ran for re-election four years later, he had switched parties to become a Democrat and to be her running mate for lieutenant governor.

  117. Ready2Agitate says:

    …and I sure like how you think, Maggie. Thanks for the discourse on women and facial/bodily hair. (((heart!)))

    fwiw, geogeek, I tweeze the chin, leave the pits, brows, legs alone (to the dismay of certain women who have cut my hair, and feel compelled to suggest that I “clean up” my brows).

    When I was a child, I used my father’s razor (dry) to shave my arms. I think I was being made fun of for having hairy arms. (Grrrr….)

    The chin-tweezing is more of an OCD thing, I think. I had a full-bearded friend for a number of years. Sometimes I could feel the stares when we went out. (She got off on wearing dresses from time to time, just to push the envelope….) Hats off to bearded dykes!

  118. --MC says:

    Speaking of James Sturm as we were a post ago, here’s an interview on The Stranger Slog with James in which he talks about his new book and about the back-when days of cartooning in Seattle. I wuz there (wheeze).

  119. Alex K says:

    @115 / Ian, @110 / Feminista:

    Doctor to Alex K: Oh, dear. This isn’t good. You’re going to have to stop masturbating.

    Alex K to doctor: Doctor! Oh, no! Why?

    Doctor to Alex K: Because I’m trying to examine you.

    No, I’m really NOT that single-minded… All these neglected inhabitants of the Old Jokes’ Home, nice to see them up and tottering about in the fresh air for a little bit.

    A Heathrow approach route traverses our neighbourhood in Sarf Lunnon, and when we first occupied our house the steady CRUNCHSCRAPE of landing gear across our rooftiles was a bit annoying. But one comes to be able to sleep through anything… One aeroplane, very early this morning (the sunrise was rubbish, no great billowing backlit clouds of red-gold ashy transcendence, sorry to report); but, with that exception, for the last few days an uncanny silence. The Sainsbury’s produce aisles yesterday still had grapes from Kenya, radishes from Morocco, courgettes from Spain. How long will those last, I wonder? Wartime recipes relied heavily on local produce. I must see what can be confected tastily, nutritiously, from turnips and leeks. Dandelion salads, here we come!

  120. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Alex K (#119), Ian (#115), Feminista (#110)

    Keeping in the theme of groaners from the Old Jokes Home…

    Yitzak the Mohel: Did ya hear I got a new job? I’m circumcising elephants.

    Shlomo: Really? How do you like it?

    Yitzak: The pay is lousy but the tips are great.

  121. Dr. Empirical says:

    Miss Anna has been getting along in years, and was having a few problems. What finally drove her to see a doctor was a recurring series of what she called “silent gas attacks.”

    “I don’t know if you noticed,” she said to the doctor, “but I’ve had three of them while I was talking to you.”

    The doctor said “Anna, I can give you pills for the gas, but I’m much more concerned about your hearing loss.”

  122. Fester Bestertester says:

    Cow 1: “Are you worried about mad cow disease?”

    Cow 2: “Not me. I’m a helicopter.”

  123. hairball_of_hope says:

    Here’s one the kids loved when they were wee ones…

    Me: Why did the man throw the clock out the window?

    Kid:(Groan) He wanted to see time fly.

    Me: No, he wanted to break the clock.

    (Kid breaks out in fit of giggles)

  124. hairball_of_hope says:

    Harkening back to our discussion of Spoonerisms, and the bottom-feeding quality of jokes that we all seem to engage in…

    Q: What’s the difference between a woman taking a bath and a nun?

    A: The nun has hope in her soul.

    Q: What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?

    A: The pickpocket snatches watches.

    Q: What’s the difference between a tribe of Pygmies and an all-girls track team?

    A: The Pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

    (… okay, I’ll go sit in the corner now for a timeout …)

  125. Kate L says:

    (Kate L # 116) HTML – missing link – related
    [Just to let you know, it doesn’t appear to have been trapped by the regular spam-trap filter, which typically puts the message on hold awaiting “approval”. That didn’t happen in this case, so I’m not sure what happened to the message. –Mentor]

    Oh, Mentor, you’re such a nice young man to check on this! 🙂 I think my ability in using high tech peaked with the nine-track tape deck!

  126. Lurk-A-Lot says:

    @ Feminista #110, Ian #115, Alex K #119, HoH #120, Dr Empirical #121, FB#122, and anyone else who’s interested, below is one of my favourite jokes:

    A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

    So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

    The Abbot says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son”. So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

    Eventually the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, “What’s wrong, father?”

    In a choking voice, the old abbot replies: “The word is celebrate!”

  127. Fester Bestertester says:

    {This doesn’t work particularly well in print, but…}

    Q: What comes between fear and sex?

    A: Funf.

  128. Fester #122, spectacular! Have never heard that one. And HoH #124, wow, you really slid that last one in under not just censorship radar but the lesbian-feminist posse! How very Ginjointish of you.

    But in fact all of y’all are funny as hell. Go figure.

  129. Ready2Agitate says:

    a helicopter? I dun’t get it… (maybe it’ll hit me later, though…)

  130. hairball_of_hope says:

    @Maggie (#128)

    I’ll wear the “Ginjointish” moniker as a badge of honor. She’s definitely the warrior woman I’d want by my side when the posse comes after me. 😉

    @Kate L (#116)

    You’re not going crazy, you’re losing your memory. Your “missing” post about Gov. Mark Parkinson is in the previous thread, #47. Oh, and his last name is Parkinson, not Patterson. As for high-tech, I think you mean the 8-track tape deck if you were talking about music. 9-track tapes are an open-reel data storage format.

    (… goes back to her timeout corner, trying to think of some more jokes to slide by the censors …)

  131. R2A #129 — The cow isn’t worried about mad cow disease because she thinks she’s a helicopter, i.e., already mad.

    Reminds me of the two muffins set in the ovem to bake, One turns to the other and says “Is it just me or is it getting awfullu warm in here?” The second one says “Wow! A talking muffin!”

    The dyke who told me that one (thx, Jen M) was startled by how completely I cracked up. But when a joke catches me off guard, I love it. Like the one about the newlyweds who mistook K-Y jelly for caulking compound. All their windows fell out of the panes…

  132. Pam I says:

    Two eggs are boiling in a saucepan.
    One says to the other, hey, phew, it’s getting hot in here.
    The other one says, you wait till you get out. They smash your head in.

  133. j.b.t. says:

    What’s the difference between a fortysomething guy in a band and a U.S. savings bond?

    The savings bond will eventually mature and make money.

  134. j.b.t. says:

    I sure needed a smile today, and I’m loving’ the jokes. Thanks pals.

  135. Dr. Empirical says:

    Ah, musician jokes!

    Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?

    A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

    Q: What’s the difference between an accordian player and a bullfron walking down the street?

    A: The bullfrom just might be in his way to a gig.

    Q: What did the drummer get on his SATs?

    A: Drool.

    I told my daddy I said “Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a guitar player!” He said “Son, you can’t have it both ways.”

  136. Dr. Empirical says:

    Wow, I managed to spell “Bullfrog” wrong two different ways!

  137. And here I was about to look up bullfron! I assumed it was some nifty word unknown to me that you’d slipped into the conversation.

    For that of you not from the U.S. or maybe not even from the South, the rural method here of catching bullfrogs to eat involves using a hook called a gig, and is known as giggin’.

  138. hairball_of_hope says:

    From the “FoxNews Network Meets Home Shopping Channel Infomercial” Dept, comes this breakthrough in consumer trends… Vajazzling.

    I wish I was making this up. It sounds like a ThinkGeek April Fools gag, but it’s not.


    The basics: The woman’s pubic area gets waxed, completely removing all hair. Then a bunch of rhinestones and other glittery stuff are glued in place, in a pattern of the woman’s choosing.

    In good investigative journalistic fashion, the reporter not only reported on this trend, she had it done to herself as well.

    Quoting from the article:

    The procedure goes something like this: You choose your design and they wax you bare as the day you were born. Then the design is hand-glued, crystal by crystal, or a crystal “tattoo” is applied. Generally, the vajazzling is done just above the, well, key player, as it were. Having it done any further down is not recommended, though from Hewitt’s description, it sounds like she went all out. Some women have a very small, simple design done high enough that low-slung jeans will reveal a glimmer. But the real thing is as low as you dare to go. Basically, where the hair was, now there are crystals.

    Completely Bare in New York City, which claims to have originated the service and the name, offers a variety of designs starting at $115, including the wax. One design, a beautiful padlock on a chain, costs $750.

    So, in the name of journalism, I decided I had to get vajazzled myself. Unfortunately, I don’t live in NYC and so Completely Bare wasn’t an option on such short notice.

    I know I’m showing my vanilla prejudices here… smooth skin above the waist, beards below. Jewels never entered into my thinking at all. Don’t those crystal things HURT when the action gets going? Seems to me that Vajazzling is all about “Look, but don’t touch.” That seems to be such a waste of a good thing.

    (… goes back to her woefully sheltered existence …)

  139. Fester Bestertester says:

    re: giggin’

    As distinct from “catfish-noodling”, which is done bare-handed…

    (Also known as, you should excuse the expression, “catfisting”.)

  140. --MC says:

    #126 — (now that everybody’s off to the new thread, here’s my favorite monastery joke).

    A novice monk is admitted to a remote mountain monastery. When he arrives he’s handed a piece of paper that says, We have a strict vow of silence — you can only say one word every ten years.
    The monk settles in to life at the monastery. He works the fields, rebuilds walls, sleeps on a stone floor. After ten years, he is allowed to say one word, and he says, “Cold.”
    He works for another ten years, and then says “Tiring.”
    He works for another ten years, and then says “Leaving.”
    The abbot writes on a paper and hands it to him. It says, “About time you left, you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

  141. Ready2Agitate says:

    My biggest out-loud bwa-ha-ha giggle-heeee! came with Dr. E’s #136 (which came as I was pondering some of his jokes) 🙂

  142. I have been thinking about the bear picture: if you send me the original high-res image, I can possibly pull out a clearer view of the bear, if you like! I’d like to try at least, in my spare time!

    I enjoy the blog & read it via LJ syndication. Woo!