you can’t get there from here

March 17th, 2007 | Uncategorized

phone hell

After getting a busy signal for five and a half hours straight, I finally got a human at US Airways. I was on the phone with him for an HOUR–that explains the long wait times, if it’s taking a #*$@ hour to re-book each of thousands of stranded passengers.

Maybe those weren’t computer keys I heard clicking, but some kind of abacus-based flight reservation system. At last the guy tells me, placidly, that the next flight out is on Tuesday. TUESDAY? I shrieked. Isn’t US Airways adding flights, or increasing plane size, to accommodate the backlog of stranded travelers? No, replied Mr. Placid.

I can’t quite believe this. I really can’t get home until Tuesday. I would rent a car in a second and just hit the road, but apparently everyone else thought of that before I did, and there are none left. I suppose I could start walking, but I left my coat in my car at the Burlington airport since I was going to Miami.

Oh, god. That reminds me. I also left a burrito in my car. I meant to bring it to eat on the plane, but forgot it in the last minute craziness. Now on top of everything else, I’ll have to fumigate my subaru.

21 Responses to “you can’t get there from here”

  1. Virginia Burton says:

    Surely there is a GLBT bookstore in town. Call them up. Tell them who you are. Someone will come rescue you, feed you, introduce you to nice people. Maybe even volunteer to drive you home. (I would, if I weren’t hundreds of miles away.) Don’t just sit in your room calling USless Airways. Use the power of your fame, girlie!

  2. anonymous says:

    I know that this is off topic, but I just LOVE the fact that you own a subaru. When I am a Vermont dyke once again, I shall buy a subaru, too.

  3. Silvio Soprani says:

    Alison, you won’t have to fumigate your subaru. It has probably been refrigerator temperature in Burlington since you left there.

    By the way, I had a black subaru station wagon back in the early 90s. A fellow musician friend also had one, (the guitars and the electric piano slide in so easily!) and she pointed out that if you spell “subaru” backwards, is it “U-R-A-Bus.”

    Strange but true.

  4. Maggie Jochild says:

    I keep thinkin’ about what –who was it, Deb? — said about the TV bein’ a sign. Like, slow down, ride the breeze, don’t flap, feast on the dead? Maybe?

  5. Silvio Soprani says:

    What TV? Wasn’t Deb referring to the vulture (or whatever it was)? (Did I miss something?)

    I just posted another comment but it never appeared,(I guess that Cowboy went REALLY FAST and got away) but what I said was, shouldn’t Alison be able to call up her publisher and have somebody solve her transportation problem? I mean, BOOK OF THE YEAR Author!! Doesn’t a magic carpet or a cape or something come with the honor?

  6. Louise says:

    I hear ya, Alison. I was supposed to be at a workshop in MA that I’d been looking forward to for months. MONTHS. We got as far as circling the Boston airport waiting to land. Then we had to go to Maine to refuel. Then we were told that the Boston airport would be closed for the next two days, and we had to return to O’Hare.

    I’d done lots of work I was really excited about sharing with people. So close and yet so far. If it’s any consolation, there are thousands of us around the US wanting to be someplace else.

    I like Virginia Burton’s suggestion. Who knows who you might meet?

  7. Daña says:


    Maybe time to dig out that Contact Dyke list from Lesbian Connection and see if anyone knows anyone who’s driving north-ish…? Or there’s always the Gray-dog…or is there? (Don’t know if the buses still run or not–)

    best wishes for finding ways to en-joy the journey…

  8. Kate the "Cowboy" says:

    Daña: with the way buses stop so frequently, she’d likely make it more quickly just by waiting for that plane.

    Alison: Shall we entertain you? You look, well, a bit traumatized in this picture. Surely there are some cute lesbians even in Charlotte?

    Things to do in Charlotte when you’re stranded:
    go to the museum of art:
    go to the botanical gardens:

    I’ve been to both (although it’s been a while) and they were both nice (not excellent but then again, you’re stuck).

    Look, one of my Middlebury friends lives in Charlotte now. I’d be glad to try and get in touch with her if you want. I’m sure she’d be willing to help if she’s around.

  9. Maggie Jochild says:

    sorry, silvio, i was using the abbreviation someone else started on that thread. yes, TV for turkey vulture.

  10. jojo says:

    You should come to Cali! My partner is having her birthday party today. It’s a little windy, but beautiful with the sun.
    Start walking West towards the sun…we’ll come get you…

  11. meg says:

    it’s been freezing or below for the last few days here – the suburu should survive relatively intact.

  12. Aunt Soozie says:

    Okay Alison…
    You’re going to activate Aunt Soozie to find you a nice lesbian who will pick you up and drive you far enough away from Charlotte that you can find a rental car and get yourself home before Tuesday. Cause that airline sucks.

  13. sunicarus says:


    Try Enterprise Rent a Car (704) 531-2099 or (704) 359-8884. They will deliver the car to you. Also, see their website.

    When in Rome:
    LGBT Resources: White Rabbit Bookstore (704) 359-8884.M-S 11-9pm;Sunday
    1-7 pm
    LGBT Community Center of Charlotte: 704-333-0144.

  14. shadocat says:

    Maggie–this time, I WILL take the credit –Twas I. For the rest of y’all, next time, pay heed to the vulture!

    Alison;For such a long distance please DON’T go greyhound (take it from me–unpleasant travel expeririences due to poverty). I would take my chances with a CD from the LC over that. As long as you can afford it, why not just veg out at the hotel for awhile? Maybe this is the Big Goddess in the Sky giving you a chance to rest for a change? Might as well kick back, grab a beer, watch a dirty movie, even. Then when you get home, demand the airline reimburse you for ALL of it! (and poor people sleep on the airport floor).

  15. pd says: ?
    They list stations in both Charlotte and Burlington, but not direct connection (of course). I’ve ridden Amtrak and it is rather nice.

  16. Ian says:

    I like the idea of ringing up the bookstore and trying to make a little money to pay for the hotel! Definitely a case of when God/life* gives you lemons, make lemonade!

    If I had any experience of travelling in America I’d offer advice, but as I don’t I’ll just concur with the other posters. If you can afford it, just kick back and unwind for a bit. Go out, get a book, see a movie, heck, if you’re panicking about work, go and buy a sketchpad maybe? There’s got to be a novel somewhere in the stranded traveller experience! Gawd, I’m terrible at practical advice in a crisis!

    * Depending on your religious affiliation or otherwise.

  17. Deb says:

    I was referring to the bird as a sign or a message from someone to Alison.

  18. little gator says:

    The transvestite televison turkey vulture has no deep symbolic meaning. She’s just an infatuated dyke saying hello.

  19. Silvio Soprani says:

    She may be infatuated, but she’s not chubby. (Too much athleticism necessary to stay on the air.)

  20. Danyell says:

    LOL- Abacus.

  21. Lizzard says:

    Abacus is RIGHT! The “courtesy phones” US Air provides didn’t work… and then the busy signals just went ON and ON and ON…

    I traveled on US Air that weekend too… got stranded in Pittsburgh on the way BACK from Fort Lauderdale… and after 6 or 7 hours in line my cousin and I rented a pimped out Monte Carlo (there was 1 left!) to get us home to Buffalo.

    SO sorry about your nutty NC experience. Gawd.