I can haz whatever I want

April 5th, 2008 | Uncategorized

bad cat

Apropos of that last thread I thought I would share this short film, The Story of a Fierce Bad Cat.

68 Responses to “I can haz whatever I want”

  1. LauraLee says:

    My cat does that paper shredding thing, too, but she waits until we are not around. Is it some sort of nesting thing?

  2. falloch says:

    your cat reminds me so much of my cat! First, for being totally beautiful, but secondly, because when I ‘acquired’ my cat, i.e. picked him out from a cat rescue home, he was quite fierce. Just trying to find out how to deal with a new human. After two years, he now trusts me and is v. affectionate and doesn’t try and pull the cables out of my ‘puter, but still v. independent and willing to unsheathe his claws if he’s having a bad fur day…

  3. a lurker says:

    my cats do that with the pushpins. it drives me crazy-I’ve never had a cat that did that before, either. it’s like pinning something up on the wall is a kind of dare for them.

  4. Ginjoint says:

    Yep, she’s really good at being bad. Pretty clever to use corkboard for the nails, too – what a perfect material for the purpose.

  5. Anonymous says:

    My girlfriend and I just got a new cat that not only tears up paper but also likes to drag his litter around the house and play with it. It’s frustrating, but slightly cute.

  6. Dinah Jochild says:

    You know, you had the TV up so loud you clearly missed it, but that plug and pushpin were TAUNTING her. Threatening to assault you in your sleep and daring her to do anything about it. Tragically misunderstood, like the lot of so many cats.

  7. Dale says:

    Looks like something our cats would do.
    Must be why cat videos are so popular – we can all watch them and say, “Haha, that’s just like my cat!” or “Thank Goddess my cat isn’t like that!”

  8. Aunt Soozie says:

    Yep, our new baby is just like that… she likes to eat paper. We watched as she attacked and gobbled up a hunk of a manila envelope one day. She also attacks her kibble sometimes. She swats some out of her dish and then stalks each piece and pounces on it before ingesting it. It’s highly entertaining.

    Don’t like when she starts in on the computer cables though… she’s now taught the older cat to do that too… but, they are appropriately jealous of the attention I give to the computer. Can’t say I really blame them for chomping on it.

  9. The Cat Pimp says:

    That’s a cat, right? Not a people baby? If the latter, I’m AFRAID. Try having a rabbit, though. The little stinker got in behind the TV cabinet. I rushed to make sure he did not electrocute himself by biting the wires. I was relieved he did not, but annoyed that he grabbed the two plugs and yanked them out of the wall. I had to move the cabinet to replug the outlets!

  10. Cs says:

    That video made my evening .That is one SCARY

  11. Cs says:

    scary smart kitty. Love how she (he?) strolls around the office like she owns it.

  12. Lily says:

    Cats are best when they are being bad. That kitteh was particularly ambitious, though I guess my two have just become sluggish and complacent with age. The worst thing they do now is steal pens and taunt the dog.

  13. sk in london says:

    “put that back in!” ….can you make sure to have a camera nearby for when she manages the re-plug?

  14. Leda says:

    My dear old dad’s dear old cat was the best/worst. When he came in from an evenings hunting he would see us in the sitting room and would come belting down the corridor. When he reached sitting room doorway he would take off, fly through the air and then finally land on the coffee table (about at least good metre away) sending whatever was on it flying in all directions. The whole thing would happen so quickly you wouldn’t realise it was happening until the cat was airbourne, at which point there was no time time to remove the coffee cups, glasses or whatever. More often than not he would have have built up so much velocity that the would just fly off the other end of the smooth shiny table and land in a heap on the floor. Then he’d just sit there cleaning himself amidst the wreckage while we just sat there open mouthed. I miss that cat…

  15. tHe LaTeNt LeNs says:

    hmmm…do love the stamp of approval on the art work…shes a keeper

  16. *tania says:

    geez, she makes marlys look like a saint and she’s no good kitty either.

  17. DeLandDeLakes says:

    My kitty manages to be fiercely bad even with only three legs with which to wreak havoc. That’s the thing about cats: they’re impossible to discipline, because they are impervious to criticism and don’t care about your opinion of them. They just don’t make the connection between naughtiness and punishment; to them, you’re just being a jerk.

  18. martinet says:

    Lord, I swear it’s a calico thing. Our Kali girl is the exact same kind of bad cat, messing with bizarre little things you’d never think a cat would care about.

  19. Chris says:

    Look at its savage whiskers, and its claws and its turned-up KITTY DEATH WISH.

  20. lb says:

    Thanks for coming to Amherst! I don’t know how our dinner discussion got on the topic of Tunak Tunak by Daler Mendhi, but, as promised:

    Fast forward to 0:20

  21. Kate L says:

    What I really like about the video is the part where the cat unplugs the computer, and Alison tells it, “Put that back in!”. Of course, the cat just ignores her…

  22. good for a rainy sunday says:

    It’s funny ’cause it’s true, and I laugh in the spirit of Sisterhood of Demented Tortie Companions. Compared with the last 20 or so seconds of “signs of spring” it’s especially priceless. Poor little thing can’t destroy anything meaningful outdoors, now, can she? Outdoors there is still opportunity for veterinary-emergency “fun” but not the sort that can come from a push pin. She’ll really maul the TP just as singlemindedly while you film her doing it, eh?

  23. Aunt Soozie says:

    Leda… got a total visual on your story. My kitty is THAT sort and yes, Cat Pimp… a baby cat, not a baby people. Baby peoples are all sorts of fierce bad in other entertaining ways… at least mine is… you laugh, you cry, you laugh…

  24. rinky says:

    That is so naughty

    My cats are very good angels

  25. Lea says:

    This is strange.
    Usually cats that can go outside, don’t do this nonsense when at home. I only know this from kittens and from cats that have to stay in the house and are bored.
    Is it still so cold in Vermont that the cat doesn’t want to go outside and is bored inside?

  26. brooke says:

    glad to see that this whole obsession with the macbook plug isn’t limited to my own. maxie is such a bad cat i had to have the plug replaced.

  27. gloria says:

    i think your cat is wonderfully smart and mischevious. My dog is usually the one that causes mayhem (my cat is pretty passive). I hope your cat still has all of her 9 lives intact!

  28. Feminista says:

    Today’s my birthday,as well as the anniversary of Billie Holiday’s birth.

    One of my cats specializes in clawing anything wood,particularly door frames. Right now he’s distracted playing with catnip on one of his three cat scratcher pads.

  29. ready2agitate says:

    Happy BDay Feminista = and a mighty good handle at that.

    So, IS it a calico thing?? My partner says that the only thing Nellie-Boo will leave me for is paper. She’s nuts for it. I can’t keep the TP roll in the normal place or she’ll unroll gobs of it onto the floor (and do we really want to use it after that?).

    I also talk to Nellie-boo like Alison does – I explain WHY she can’t stick her paw into the printer (she’s waiting for that amazing thing that happens – paper comes out!), WHY she can’t climb on the keyboard (she swats at the monitor trying to “catch” the mouse cursor), WHY she can’t eat ribbons & dental floss, etc.

    Do we really think indoor cats get bored? I hope not….

  30. Ian says:

    Is it just me or did I hear AB call kitteh Beth? We must no!!!

    Have we discovered kittykat’s true identity?

  31. ready2agitate says:

    Oh sh*t, reading that weird LOL-crap (sorry, but) has me emailing my friends in weird language now. Oh nooooooo!!!!!

    (Yoo too, Ian?)

    ps Me thought AB say “bat” for kittehz name.

  32. Ian says:

    There’s a good discourse analysis somewhere in the lolz/txtspk type thing for some linguistics student with really nothing better to do with their lives …

  33. Andi says:


    I thought FierceBadCat was so funny… until… she bit the power cord to the computer! I have a Mac Book Pro with a magnetic power cord like that, and I thought NO! Not the MAC! Anything but the MAC! Sigh. We love our kitties and our computers.

    On a serious note, my computer super geek Mac guy told me that sometimes the power can arc from the magnet if it’s pulled out and there’s static electricity, so Kittehz be cahful! Don’t want to zap off those cute wiskas.

  34. Aunt Soozie says:

    Uhm, I think she said “bad” as in you are so BAD!
    as in fierce bad… but I’ll go give it another listen.

  35. Aunt Soozie says:

    “oh, bad… so dangerous”…. gasp…. “plug that back in. WHAT are you doing?”
    that’s how I hear it. I think the kitty’s name is Piebald… however, it is well known that though Ms Bechdel readily names her paramours she does not disclose, for the sake of their privacy and protection, the names of her pussies.

  36. little gator says:

    speaking of critters named Beth:

    While visiting the three gerbils at a library’s children’s room, I was told they’d had four but one died.

    They were named Jo, Amy, and Meg, and yes, the one that died *was* named Beth.

  37. ready2agitate says:

    My friend has 2 parakeet – Pete and, yes, Repeat (when one dies, as our keets do, the new one gets the “other” name). Heh.

  38. Maggie Jochild says:

    When my daughter was very small, we went through countless gerbils named Gertrude and Alice. When one died, we’d sneak out to the all-night discount store in the middle of the night and buy a replacement Gertrude. Or Alice.

    Happy, Happy Feminista! Folks like you just add more wealth to our world as you add on wisdom, patience, and grandchildren. Glad YOU got born!

  39. Feminista says:

    Maggie & ready: Awww. Gracias for the warm wishes. A year ago my then-sweetie Richard T. and I celebrated my b-day at a Vietnamese restaurant,and then went to my house to take things to the next level…cupcakes! Oh,and other stuff,too.

    Nieto(grandson)Joaquin is now 21 lbs.at 8 months. He’s starting to crawl. I took care of him one evening recently when my daughter was working. She’s made incredible changes in the last month: moved into her own apartment,gotten a part-time job,and enrolled in a medical asst. course. Joaquin’s father and family of 8 live 5 minutes away.

    This has all been accompanied by,of course,much drama on her and her boyfriend’s part. I don’t need to *watch* telenovelas–I’m part of one. I play la revolucianaria feminista,of course.

    I must confess that I’m tired of all the LOL and katz stuff; it’s not just here,it’s creeping all over the net.

  40. Ginjoint says:

    Happy birthday a day late, Feminista! Hope you spoiled yourself.

  41. Ian says:

    I don’t know, I think there’s a line of gentle subversiveness running through the lolcatz, tired of the speak as I am. I especially like the all-time classic of the ginger kitteh with it’s paws up, being held at gunpoint.

    I have no direct proof, but when I see words like kitteh, I immediately think of Cartman from South Park. Maybe South Park is to blame!!! Let’s face it, today’s 16 yr olds were the 8 year olds who used to watch it on TV at midnight …

    Oh and Feliz Cumpleaños, Feminista. ¡Viva la revolución de las mujeres!

  42. Sonya says:

    Alison, that is the most awesome video ever, and I think you must have gotten my kitty’s long lost twin or soulmate or something.

    Once, a couple of years ago, I heard her chewing on something she shouldn’t be chewing on, so I went over to fish the mystery object out of her mouth, and it was a RAZOR BLADE that she had somehow pulled out of my x-acto knife. I just about had a heart attack, and poor kitty couldn’t figure out why I was so upset or why I took away her fun new toy. Amazingly, she didn’t cut herself. I keep my x-acto blades and knife tucked far far away from kitty now.

    She also tried to eat a bee, once. Yup, a live bee that I, yes, also had to fish out of her mouth with my finger–she would take it in her mouth for a second then spit it out, then bite it again and then spit it out. She somehow managed to not get stung, and the bee was still alive when I put it outside.

    She’s a fun cat.

  43. Linda says:

    Actually, it’s not just Torties… my two late, lamented (lost them in the lesbian divorce) black/white moggies would invade everything but their favourite was to remove tampons from the applicators. I reckoned they looked too much like mice with those little tails….

  44. Jen says:

    I love the nod to Beatrix Potter’s “The Story of A Fierce Bad Rabbit.” Hmm, doesn’t the Fierce Bad Rabbit get its tail and whiskers shot off at the end of the story? Tell kitty to watch herself around power cords!

  45. Feminista says:

    Gracias to gin and Ian. This year my cumpleanos celebration is more protracted. My present to myself is seeing Margaret Cho *live,in person* on 4/17.

    Cho has some great vids on You-tube. No links handy; just Google for her website.

  46. Deena in OR says:

    off topic, but of potential interest to readers here….

    Dan Savage, of Savage Love, lost his mom last week. There’s a note on the Savage Love front page. If you’re a regular reader, it sounds as though condolences would be a balm. Just sayin’…

  47. Deena in OR says:

    PS….apologies for hijacking, Alison. I’m kinda assuming it’s OK, given the situation.

  48. Kynthos says:

    Sadly, had to put down our Cotton cat of 20 years this afternoon. It was time, but it’s still hard.

  49. Maggie Jochild says:

    My ardent condolences, Kynthos. Twenty years is a serious chunk of existence. I’ve lost two 17-year-old kitties, years ago, and I still miss them. Blessings on you for being there to the end.

  50. Deena in OR says:


    I’m so sorry. I was just there myself a few weeks ago.

  51. Matron says:

    I’m glad my two are not the only “kittens behaving badly”. Anyone else’s eat paper clips and rubber bands? I now close my eyes when cleaning the litter box, lest I spend my days in a constant state of low level panic.

  52. Ginjoint says:

    Kynthos – that’s the hardest part of having a pet, isn’t it? I’m sure you were a good friend, and as Maggie said, good on ya for being there. I had a calico cat from the time I was 10 to 32 years old (!), so I know how they go with you through many stages of life. Take care.

  53. ready2agitate says:

    Matron, we do not keep rubber bands in plain sight in our house – they are always kept in drawers. The paper clips provide much fun but I don’t think they’ve ever been successfully ingested.

    And sincere condolences too, Kynthos – there may be no greater sadness than the loss of a good friend… Allow yourself to cry – I did it for days when Mingus left us.

  54. Jana C.H. says:

    Did someone mention rubber bands? Last month my big grey-and-white Boris ate a rubber band tangled with several feet of embroidery floss. Emergency surgery and $3000 later he is his old self again, saved by my good line of credit. Worth every penny, but the embroidery floss is now on a high shelf in a closet that is rarely opened.

    As long as we’re discussing felines: On this coming Monday, April 14, Tonkie, my father’s Siamese, will be old enough to drink. That’s right, the big twenty-one. Maybe Dad and Tonk will share a beer.

    Jana C.H.
    Saith Albert Schweitzer: There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

  55. LM says:

    To other bad kitty companions: A friend of mine (male) says that he notes that what women find charming and lovable in the conduct of their cats are just exactly what they find despicable in men. Hmm.

  56. Feminista says:

    LM–Good point. With cats,they’re cute (though sometimes annoying),but we have higher standards for humans.

  57. --MC says:

    I don’t know, I’ve gotten some good laughs out of K. by putting my head into paper bags that were left on their sides on the floor, attacking milk bottle cap tabs, and pouncing on the bed at six in the morning purring and headbutting.

  58. Nickel Joey says:

    Deena — Thanks for the tip about Savage’s mom.

  59. Deena in OR says:

    Nickel Joey-No problem. Just felt like the right thing to do, somehow.

  60. Therry says:

    Now I am seriously jealous, because obviously the one thing that leaped out at me was the sound of Alison’s voice, so gentle, so soft. The rest of you must be so used to hearing her speak that it didn’t leap for you.

    The 17 yeard old seriously Fierce bad cat is sitting at my side, ready to leap on anything that moves.

    Here’s to cat people! Many paws to you!

  61. mfahy says:

    Alison- Are you the “special guest” that will “blow everybody’s minds” for the LGBT panel at NYComiCon?
    If you’re not, well I’da know…
    is it Howard Cruse?
    Camper and Hilty are listed…

  62. little gator says:

    About feline lifespan-I used to work for a vet. Almost all(I can’t think of an exception) the cats who reached age 20 were spayed females. and most were calico or Siamese.

    My own record is Little Kitty, the stray who got a lame name cause we weren’t planning to keep her. BY the time we changed our minds she wouldn’t answer to anything else. She was a silver tabby and white Persian mix, and made it to 19. She had extra toes, and between that and the fluff had enormous feet depsite having a healthy weight of 6 lbs. She was fat at 7.5 lbs.

    She had an unpredicable attitude, sweet cuddly purrs that would change ot an attack with no warning. and a mostly white face with huge eyes. We think she was Bette Davis in a former life.

    Plus I found her in an alley, so she was a genuine alley cat.

  63. Ginjoint says:

    That’s interesting, little gator, about the life spans – I’m on my third calico. The first lived 22 years, the second seventeen. I think calicos (calicoes?) are a species unto themselves.

  64. little gator says:

    Leela, the only calico I ever had, died at 14 from vaccine-induced cancer.

    made it to 17-Buster, Maine coon mix. Reka Mao, Siamese mix.

    16-KImmy, Siamese mix.

    tragically young-Rudy Patootie, age 8, lung cancer. He spent his first 6 months in a home with multiple tobacco smaokers.

    Eeaoo-age 2, unknown virus which she probably got from her mother and it was dormant in between.

    And now I have Lydia, doing fine so far at 6.

    I think my dog’s been reading this thread. I cought her chewing razor blades, though she was unhurt and had not got the paper wrapper off. She loves to eat paper. Yes, eat. Not just chew.

  65. Minnie says:

    Hilarious! I loved it.

    Here’s another fine cat one on YouTube:
    An Engineer’s Guide to Cats

    You may have to paste it in as I have no idea how to make it a live link.
    Well worth it though, all you engineering DTWOF fans, and fans of fans.

  66. Minnie says:

    Oh, happy surprise! Live link above.

    A pal now flattens the toilet-paper roll somewhat before putting it on the axle, and that keeps the cats from unrolling and shredding too much at once. I’m sure it’s more boring now, than when a well-places swat would spin the roll and cascade heaps of paper.

    Nesting instinct? Perhaps it’s more like catching a prey that still flutters, so needs finishing off before the feast can begin sans interruption.

  67. Maggie Jochild says:

    Minnie, LOVED the Engineer’s Guide to Cats! Thxbai.

  68. Ginjoint says:

    Awesome, Minnie! While at YouBoob, also check out “The Mean Cat Song” and others featuring Sparta.

    God. Lesbians talking about our cats. Time for a new blog entry. Wait…that’s what led to this….