gentle reader

March 16th, 2008 | Uncategorized


Lookit. I’m so psyched. Coming this fall, The Essential Dykes To Watch Out For. Most, though not all, of the DTWOF episodes collected in one big volume. This is very exciting for me, and a big relief, because the individual books have gotten very difficult to obtain, and there are so many of them now, like…eleven? Which makes it hard for new readers to follow the backstory. Plus it’s kind of nice timing because this year is the twenty-frickin’-fifth anniversary of the strip.

But why I’m writing now is enlist your aid in something. The amazing marketing guy at Houghton Mifflin has a plan to promote the ESSENTIAL DTWOF to bookstores by producing a fake little 8 page tabloid newspaper from the world of the strip, like, with ads for stores and places that exist in the comic strip, and news stories about the characters and stuff. It’ll be a copy of The Daily Distress, the newspaper the characters read, so it’s a way of drawing people into the cartoon universe.

But here’s the genius part. You write the stories! In other words, you do all the work! Isn’t that clever of me?

I know, I know. Let me just say I abhor “contests,” like for example logo contests, which are thinly-veiled schemes to exploit peoples’ talent, good will, and time. But I’ll compensate all serious contributors to this project with a copy of the book. And if we use your work in the piece, I’ll throw in the original art to the DTWOF episode of your choice (depending on availability).

So can I persuade anyone to compose a 250-500 word story, newspaper-style, on any of the following topics?

•News article about when the city performed rogue same sex marriages in 2004. Including interviews with newly-married couple Clarice Clifford and Toni Ortiz. Toni speaks not just about her personal experience, but in her capacity as a member of Freedom to Marry.

•The closing of Madwimmin Books. Community institution lost, etc., despite forays into sex toys and a café…including interviews with Jezanna, and Mo. Possibly Lois and Thea too. (Hmm. I’m gonna have to invent last names for this. Mo’s is Mo Testa. Lois is Lois McGiver. But I’ve never given last names to Jez or Thea. Any ideas?)

•A sports piece about the Lady Porcupines, the women’s basketball team at the University, going to the NCAA’s. In which Jerry (Lois’s tranny fag mechanic) is interviewed—he was on the team the last time they went to the NCAA’s, when he was a she. (that would probably have been around 1988) See episode 337.
•A review of Lois’s drag king show. She could be performing as Max Axle. Or in one of her political personae—as Bush in his padded flightsuit, or as Donald Rumsfeld complete with rimless glasses.

•A news article on Clarice’s work on the Union Carbuncle cancer cluster case. Clarice is an attorney for the Environmental Justice Fund. If you’re interested in this one, I’ll send you relevant episodes to gather info from.

•News on Betsy Gilhooly’s MacArthur “genius” grant. Angle: she used to be a professor at the local university. She’s unavailable for an interview, so you have to interview her (extremely bitter and envious) ex-colleague Sydney Krukowski instead.

And if you’re more of a graphics person than a writer, maybe you’d like to design a fake ad! [UPDATE: let’s make the ads 4 inches wide, and 2, 2-1/2, 3, 3-1/2, 4, 4-1/2 or 5″ high. PDF format would be great if you can do that! Also, they’ll be black and white, no color.] Like for some of the characters’ businesses:

Miriam the midwife’s Natureborn Midwifery Services

Jerry’s car repair shop, Rainbow Automotive

Sparrow’s ex June’s incomprehensible business of “high concept digital commerce models”

Clarice’s law organization, The Environmental Justice Fund

AC-DC electrical, Letitia (invent an electrical last name), master electrician

Miko Takagawa’s salon, The Chop Shop. (Miko’s also a writer so perhaps her ad mentions her book “Hair Stories,” which Gore Vidal-Sassoon called “a tonsorial tour-d-force.”)

La Lentille D’Or, the gourmet vegan restaurant frequented by the characters

Or the co-op! Maybe they’re having a special on some of the following items: rosemary-cucumber beard conditioner, gingko-infused parsley soda, birch bark toilet paper. Or celebrating national vegetarian day with a sale on phoney baloney, fakin’ bacon, sham cops, not your mommy’s pastrami, and I’m not talkin’ Turkey.

Or maybe Pillzapoppin’ Pharmacy? Coupons for Vagicorp’s yeast-b-gone, Proposition H Rhoid Ointment, Lilliput Condoms, perhaps?

Or whatever!

I’d like to illustrate each article or ad with a “photo,” that is, art from an existing strip that relates to the topic. There will likely be a bit of editing done, to make things consistent. If you think you’d like to participate, LET ME KNOW HERE ON THE BLOG. (I’m amending this post–first I asked folk to email me, but this way everyone can see what other people are working on). This will help me get a sense of the overall balance and make sure everyone’s not doing the same thing.

Oh, also, if your submission gets used in the piece you’ll get a byline. And a copy of the “tabloid.” Plus I’ll put the final piece up on the blog so everyone can see it.
What do you think? Can I persuade any of you to stop composing sestinas and start writing news articles?

Needless to say, if you have any other ideas besides the ones I’ve listed, I’d be delighted. Fire away to us here at DTWOF Inc.

Oh, jeezum. Did I mention I need this stuff FAST? Like, by next Sunday March 23? That’s good, though! A tight deadline is always inspiring, don’t you think?

Needless to say, I would be honored and grateful beyond measure if any of you find this worth doing.

163 Responses to “gentle reader”

  1. ksbel6 says:

    I will happily write the story about the basketball team going to the NCAA Tournament…unless one of you other fantastic writers wants to…I’m not much of a writer, but I know sports pages 🙂

  2. procrastinating in providence says:

    holy crap!

  3. Auntchovie says:

    AMEN for one big volume at last!

  4. sunicarus says:

    Wow! Fabulous 25th Anniversary Celebration!

    I’m sure all these creative folks here will find queer, delightful, political, artistic, irreverent ways to celebrate this momentous occasion. I can’t wait to see the contributions. Fantabulous! or Fantabloidous, perhaps? 😮

    I am thrilled that DTWOF will be available in one volume. The few books I have were given to me by a friend. I think I shall toast this occasion tomorrow for St. Patty’s Day.



  5. DCS says:

    How do you want the submissions? Emailed Word documents for the stories and Adobe Illustrator for the Ads? Can you tell I am an engineer?

    And I will be buying the Esstential DTWOF for sure!

  6. Hey, awesome! It didn’t occur to me that we could use the blog to sort this out. Yeah, Ksbel6! Write away about the Lady Porkies!

    Yeah, DCS! Word for stories would be great. Adobe Illustrator or Photoshop for the ads would be great if people can do that.

  7. Chris says:

    OMG, the DTWOF Bloom Picayune only MORE SO. Scampering off to inform all talented folks I know, prestissimo. Three cheers for aimless laundry-day surfing.

  8. Ellen O. says:


    Any takers yet for the Betsy Gilhooly’s Genius Grant article? Writing about it from Sydney’s point of view would be a crack-up. If it’s a go, I’ll email you with burning questions.

    If that’s taken, I’ll go for rogue “same sex marriages.” (Sounds like a jeopardy category.)

    I’m assuming you want humor and irony embedded throughout.


  9. Ian says:

    I saw a couple of weeks back that had “Essential” available for pre-order. Am very excited!

    Please tell us that the tabloid will be called the “Daily Distress” or “Ten Percent Tribune”!

    I think I’ll have a go at Clarice’s Union Carbuncle cancer cluster case. Didn’t she win, set precedent and get an award? I’ve got all the books except Invasion (lent/gone forever) and I’m waiting for “The Sequel” to be delivered.

  10. Ian says:

    PS I wouldn’t want to stop anyone else having a go – more than one person can attempt an article can’t they? I know you won’t want to be swamped, AB, but having a few to choose from would be good, wouldn’t it?

  11. madknits says:

    While I have all the books, I am looking forward to this quite eagerly. What I’d like to see is a compilation of the calendars.

  12. Jana C.H. says:

    How about an ad for Thea’s art school for kids? She never said where she was teaching; maybe she’s opened her own school by now.

    Hey, that would be a way to get Thea back into the strip, as soon as J.R. is old enough for Art Preschool.

    Jana C.H.
    Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.

  13. --MC says:

    I was psyched when I saw this posting! Love that cover — I have a mousepad that’s similar, that I treasure.

  14. Ian says:

    madknits, most of the calendar strips are included in “The Indelible Alison Bechdel”.

  15. J. says:

    Twenty-five years? And I’ve been reading it almost that long. Congratulations! Can’t wait to get the new treasury.

  16. Mark A. says:

    I’m afraid I’m being shallow here…

    …but I just love the Norman Rockwell tribute for your “essential” cover!

  17. Marty and E.J. says:

    We could collaborate on an article about Lois and her drag shows. We promise it will be well researched, but also spontaneous seeming, as these things often are…

  18. Anonymous says:

    *Screams* Thank you so much Alison!!!!! I’ve wanted to own all of the DTWOF books for so long now. THANK YOU THANK YOU. Can’t weati for fall.

  19. lisa says:

    DTWOF fanfiction! Awww, my heart just melted.

  20. Ann says:

    I would *love* to cover the Madwimmin closing!

    And yeeHAW for the near-omnibus volume. That’s great.

  21. Yayyyy! I’m so psyched people are into this. I’m feeling a bit confused about multiple submissions–like, Ian wants to do the Union Carbuncle story and so does someone else who emailed me. I don’t want people to put a lot of work into something, and then I use someone else’s version…yet there’s nothing wrong with a little competition, I suppose.

  22. Ellen, excellent! I’d love to see your take on the Genius Grant piece! Yes, please. Humor and irony throughout.

    Marty and EJ, yeah! Do the drag king piece please!

    And Ann, go for it on the Madwimmin closing story!

  23. ready2agitate says:

    YEEEEEAAHHHHH!!!!! I, too, LOVE the cover (always have – and remember the T-shirt), and wow, can it be more fun that this is going to this whole new level? Now I’m psyched not only abt the book (my Indelible lent/gone forever – ergh), but also to read the articles & ads in the pre-release teaser Daily Distress by the great contributors on this blog whose writing I adore. And ah gee, Alison, the competition question – you probably should see some variations on a theme, I’d imagine?

  24. gina de vries says:

    Oh, man, I *so* wanted to do the Madwimmin closing piece. What other articles are left now?

    Also, I have a brilliant friend, Jordan Eisenberg, who I think could do some screamingly funny ads. I’m forwarding this post to her.

    — Gina

  25. Tsin says:

    Isn’t Jezannas last name Ramsey?


  26. Aunt Soozie says:

    I would love to do one of this ads.
    Should I choose one??
    Any other takers on ads?
    This sounds like total fun and I’m really excited about the collection.
    What episode will it go up to??

  27. oH MY GOD! Ramsey it is! Where would I be without you people?

  28. Ginjoint says:

    Aw, nuts. I am a smart-ass human being, but not a clever one – I’ll have to support this endeavor by simply buying the book. I can’t wait to see what you all come up with!

  29. Oh! Aunt Soozie, please have at an ad! Pick one or make one up!

    And thank for asking about the collection…it’ll go up to episode 517. I meant to explain this in the post. I’ll go back and do that, but I’ll also do it here.

    This book will basically be the next DTWOF collection, meaning it will include all the strips created since “Invasion of the DTWOF,” which came out in 2005.

    Except it WON’T have a new “long story” like the other collections do, because I haven’t figured out how to clone myself yet and I just haven’t had the spare two or three months it takes to produce one of those.

    Also, the book WILL include all these tons of old strips, which is kind of a drag if you already have the old books and only want the new strips. But this is just the best publishing solution we could come up with—a way to fleece reach a mix of both old and new readers. Besides, you don’t have to buy it. Those new strips are all available right here on the site.

  30. Hariette says:

    I call dibs on the closing of Madwimmin.

    (not to be confused with Mo’s ex)

  31. Hariette says:

    Shoot — I missed Madwimmin? My sister called & I didn’t refresh. Dagnabit!

  32. Ginjoint says:

    And Bechdel – Happy Anniversary.

  33. Hariette says:

    Okay, can I take Clarice’s job story then?

  34. Well, I don’t know! Should we hold a competition, with multiple entries for a story? It would be cool to see various versions…but I would just feel bad, as I said before, having someone put a lot of work into a piece and then having it not get used.

  35. cybercita says:

    just sent you a piece about madwimmin.

  36. And, like, what if the person who calls dibs on a story does a bad job? God, this is all getting so stressful.

  37. cybercita says:

    wow, just read the blog after sending in the piece about madwimmin. you’ve got to act fast around here.

  38. K.B. says:

    Ramsay, according to wikipedia…

  39. wednesday says:

    Oh, damned straight I’m all over this. One of the drawbacks of breakups: sometimes you have to leave book collections with the ex.

    (Which is why I’m ceding my dibs-call (which woulda been for Chop Shop) against my better judgement: this’d be replacing all my reference material. Ah well.)

  40. yelena says:

    Ooh, I’d love to try one of the ads too…maybe an ad for the Golden Lentil? What a great idea, AB!

  41. Ramsay with an A! Good freakin’ catch.

    Okay, I’ve made an executive decision. If you want to take the risk that your piece won’t get chosen, feel free to contribute a story that’s already been “assigned.” I’ll still give a free book to everyone who contributes something, so the worst that can happen is you get a free book.

    Cybercita wins the prize for First Story Submitted. That was frickin’ fast!

  42. Story Summary to date:

    Madwimmin Books Closing: one submission received. Ann is working on this too, right? Others welcome if you don’t mind the chance that someone else’s piece will get chosen. (You’ll still get a free book, but not original art.)

    Clarice and Union Carbuncle: Two people interested, unclear at this point if one or both of them are continuing.

    Lady Porcupines: one person interested

    Lois’s Drag King show: two people working together on that one

    Betsy Gilhooly & genius grant: Ellen’s working on that

    Yelena working on La Lentille D’Or
    Someone emailed me about doing Jerry’s auto repair place.

  43. Klepsydra says:

    The guerilla same sex marriages seem to be the only story not yet someone’s first choice, so I’ll stake a tentative claim on it…

    Squeep! All excited, now.

  44. Raffi says:

    AB–I’d like to do the ad for AC-DC master electrician Letitia, if it’s not taken.

  45. Pix says:

    I think I’d like to attempt one of the adds. The midwife service I think….

  46. Ian says:

    I just had a vision of an ad for “booming book behemoth” being placed satirically next to the article about Madwimmin Books closing, featuring either books about independent bookstores or rampant publishing industry consolidation or spoof covers of the D2WO4 books.

    The only trouble is I can’t draw and have no graphics skills! But if anyone likes the idea, feel free to have a go.

  47. Montrealais says:

    Can I try for June’s business?

  48. Yes! GO for it, Montrealais!

  49. Montrealais says:

    What’s June’s last name?

  50. Sophie says:

    Lois McGiver?! ROFLHCCF!!

  51. Maggie Jochild says:

    June Cleaver, isn’t it?

  52. lbe says:

    When did Mo reveal her surname? I remeber Lois being McGiver (I always thought of her as the lesbian MacGyver, toolbelt *ahem* at the ready), but I don’t recall Mo’s surname ever coming up, even when her brother, sister-in-law and new niece turned up.
    Speaking of which, Mo’s parent’s were quite political and campaigned for Mondale and Perot at different times. I can’t help thinking they might make an appearance.

  53. Montrealais says:

    When Mo got her library science diploma and smooched Fiona, the fact-checking phenom, unaware that Sydney was watching via webcam.

  54. rinky says:

    I’d like to try and do and ad for something if baby duty time permits. – Do i have to say what at moment. Actually could be highly unlikely because loving partner is away 🙁

    Yeah i couldn’t remember Mo’s surname coming up either

  55. Deena in OR says:


    How about an ad for Mo’s shrink or T and C’s family/couples therapist?

  56. Jana C.H. says:

    I have a great idea for an ad for Miriam. Does she have a last name? Should I make one up? Should it be Jewish?

    I need to get to work on it right away!

    Jana C.H.
    Saith JcH: Cartographers do it to scale.

  57. Deena in OR says:


    If we *can’t* do PDF, what’s the next best alternative for you?

  58. Debs says:

    If I have time this week, I’ll submit something. Not sure what yet. Sounds fun!


  59. Good one, Deena! The shrinks! Um…all I know is, Mo & Syd’s therapist is named Richard. C & T’s never had a specific name…but the place where they both work is Acme Psychotherapy Associates.

    If you can’t do PDF, do whatever! Photoshop? Illustrator? A jpeg? A zpeg? (I made up zpeg.)

  60. Hey, Jana. Looking forward to your ad! No, I never gave Miriam a last name. Yes, make one up if you like! A Jewish one would be great, very biblical. If it’s any help, remember she’s also a heavy duty endurance athlete.

  61. Susan Dampf says:

    If you remember me, AB, I met with you in Weho CA when you generously let me photograph you for a painting.
    If you’d like to use the image, feel free to. I will email
    an image to you in case.

  62. Susan Dampf says:

    I would love to take on Clarice’s law organization, The Environmental Justice Fund. I’ve got an idea already!
    What is her last name? Why am I blanking on this?

  63. Susan Dampf says:

    Clifford! Thanks wikipedia!

  64. OnlyAnne says:

    It’s Clarice Clifford.

    I think Jezanna also has a last name already – didn’t Eunice the evil U-haul lady call her father Mr. Something in the moving sequence in the back of Split-level Dykes to Watch Out For? (My copy is 2000 miles away)

  65. Aniko says:

    Oooh.. Hard to keep track of what’s not taken.

    I could do the pharmacy?

  66. b. says:

    yes, it was mr. ramsey. so, Jezanna (Alberta) Ramsey?

  67. b. says:

    are there any ads left? i’d like to take one, like for the “Queen of Tarts -bakery”
    the idea is to sketch (pencil) them, right?

  68. procrastinating law student says:

    What strips will be missing from the compilation? Have they been published elsewhere and if so, where?

  69. wow! I have a whole load of attachments in my inbox!Going to go open them now.

  70. kellan says:

    Hi Alison,
    What about a story about gay pride parades/picnics/politicking? It could feature lots of comments from various folks, including the “corporate pride is consuming our queer culture” angle so beloved of Mo and Stuart (with reference to the strip where Mo meets Stuart and Sparrow as they’re going to Gay Pride and she’s going to Gay Shame, and Stuart then shames Sparrow into turning down a ride in June’s “pridemobile”).
    The book and all the other articles and ads are such a great idea! I can’t wait to see the finished products.

  71. b. says:

    oeps, i just learned that there is a “Queen of tarts’ patisserie. actually several. so no need to advertise for them i assume..

  72. Oh, excellent.
    Klepsydra’s marriage piece is SPOT ON.

    Chelsea submitted a beautiful ad for the midwife!

    I’ve got an ad from Robin for Rainbow Automotive, which cleverly incorporates a drawing of a VW Bug. And a suitably vague, mysterious ad for June’s business from Colino.

    This is all really wonderful. I’m so happy with this response!

  73. Kellan, I love your Pride idea…wanna write it?

  74. Hey, check out Dale’s “Goodnight Moon” spoof at the end of the rhyming contest post!

  75. Sonya says:

    I’d love to do an ad for the co-op, since I work at an actual co-op. Biodynamic lentils and fair-trade quinoa ahoy!

    Does the co-op have a proper name, or is it just “The Co-op”? It must have a name. I’ll have to flip through my girlfriend’s DTWOF to see what I can find.

  76. Rohmie says:

    The cover is awesome! I love the classic Norman Rockwell homage.

    I have one small suggestion. Some people might need a little “nudge” to get the reference. I am a big fan of “antique-ing” appearances and the retro look in general. So I was thinking of maybe making it resemble some yellowed Saturday Evening Post after several decades in someone’s attic? Maybe with a circular coffee cup stain on the margin? It would also be appropriate for a retrospective collection.

    Of course, the cover is awesome as is. It’s just that creativity is infectious.

  77. Dale says:

    Just curious…what is the name of the city where the characters live? I’d love to take a crack at a review of Lois’ drag king show.

  78. Dale says:

    Aaaaaand is there a name of the drag king group? Or just write it about Lois in general?

  79. Sonya says:

    Oh, hey, I just noticed… Toni doesn’t get mentioned by name on the cover of the book? That’s kinda sad. Was it just a space issue? Why does Stuart get named, but not Toni–since when is he a dyke to watch out for? (Okay, now I’m whining…)

  80. A. The co-op doesn’t really have a name…once I drew part of its awning, and you could read “…avenue co-op.” So it’s some avenue. If I consult the street map in Split-Level DTWOF, some possibilities are: Hickock, Johnston, Lyons, Martin, Nestle…

    B. There’s no name for the city! And I don’t want there to be. This is kind of a problem, as I’ve discovered with one of the pieces that already came in. But I think there’s a way to write around it if you use your imagination.

    C. Nor is there a name for Lois’s drag king group. They’re just referred to as “Lois’s Drag King Revue” in episode 365. So you can make one up!

  81. Dale says:

    Okay, I’ve got a review written. It’d be great to have a city name (right now it says “Atlanta”, but can be changed).
    I have to thank you, Alison. This has really awoken my creativity. It’s been in a bit of a slumber for a while, but with the poetry and this I feel like I can get some work done on a few neglected projects. Thank you!!

  82. b. says:

    ooh, Toni definitly should get mentioned on the cover !!!

  83. Straight Ally says:

    (partly off topic)

    Alison! You said “Lookit”! I thought that expression was confined to Pittsburgh (where I grew up). In fact, I was beginning to wonder if that expression was confined to me.

    Mazel tov on Essential DTWOF! Obviously, we’re psyched too.

  84. Cate says:

    What a GREAT project. Am in the last throes of full draft of dissertation deadline so can’t contribute anything, but this is sooooooo cool — and yay for new book! I do have all of them, but I’m always afraid my ex will snitch them when my back is turned, as she did with my Ivan Coyote books ;-).

  85. Katherine says:

    La Lentille d’Or here I come.. .

  86. iara says:

    This is amazing! I have been away and seem to be too late to contribute though… AB, how about Ian’s idea of the Medusa ad, can I do that one? Can we also have some classifieds – Bounders is hiring, isn’t it?
    Either way, I can’t wait for the collection!

  87. April says:


    Can’t wait can’t wait!!!

    *makes antsy gestures indicating excitement which could be mistaken for dance moves*

    Sorry AB, no submissions from me (crunch time at U of Q), but I promise I will buy everything!
    But then, you already knew that…
    Happy creating, bois & grlz!

  88. Tom Geller says:

    Will see if I have time to jump on one of these after spending some time thinking about the options (and seeing what others are doing). Fun!

  89. Dweeb says:

    Ooh, can I lay out the paper? I worked for little community newspapers in the 80s. I’m gonna work on some ads. hee hee

  90. Tom Geller says:

    P.S. No Harriet on the cover? I’m bummed. She was *so* central to the early strips.

  91. Aunt Soozie says:

    I’ll do the Chop Shop before someone else swoops that up. Geez..this is way, way exciting!!!
    Hmm…what is the area code for the unknown land of DTWOF?
    Or should be skip area code and just do a seven digit number??
    This is way fun!!!

  92. Aunt Soozie says:

    Uhm, should WE skip the area code and just do a seven digit number…
    geez…I don’t know if it’s my new key board or peri-menopause but I’ve been making lots o’typos lately.

  93. JMG says:

    If it’s ok, I’d like to try to compete for the MacArthur grant article. Although I’m at a conference this weekend, so it’s good that there will be at least one entry anyway in case I don’t manage to get it in under the wire.

  94. The Cat Pimp says:

    May I do a restaurant review of a fiercely vegan/raw/P.C. restaurant? I love taking ingredients, putting them on index cards and mixing them…

  95. yelena says:

    okay, my lentille d’or entry is in. this was way fun!

  96. rebeccawire says:

    Alison, I’ll do a Freedom to Marry piece, since that seems up in the air. I’m a professional wire service reporter, so style will be no problem – will get it to you by Wednesday. If you decide you want something else, just drop a line. Thanks for the invite. Looks like fun! -rebecca

    rebeccawire at gmail

  97. The Cat Pimp says:

    Okay, I went ahead anyway. Incoming!

  98. Spark says:

    Wow. What wonderful poetry. And now I can’t wait to see the promotional materials, let alone the book! What creative souls. How about six-word personals? Any room for those?

  99. The Cat Pimp says:

    OMG – personals would be so funny.

    What sort of alphabet soup would we get?

    SFTM 38 ISO GSM or GSFTM for coffee, light auto repair and beard trimming tips.

    GBF 42 ISO GF for tortes and torts.

    Mothers’ Group forming for locavore vegan Democrats against wheat – Call Stuart at 555-3434.

    I could go on, but I really need to go to bed now.

  100. kellan says:

    I’m glad the Pride idea appeals! I’ll do that one.

  101. dzieger says:

    Man, I forget to check the blog for one day, and all hell breaks loose 🙂 I can’t follow what’s been taken and what’s still available, but I’d like to take a stab at an ad, and if there are any articles not accounted for, my wife is a journalist, so she’s got that whole AP style thing covered…

    Very exciting, all this. I have all the books, but was considering buying some of them again just for the pleasure of buying a DTWOF book 😉

    Congrats on 25 years of world-class work, AB. I recently read through the whole collection in order, and it’s really a remarkable body of work. Like many folks here, I’ve long since abandoned all aesthetic distance and come to think of your characters as real people; frankly, they’re more realistic than many of of my real-life friends and relatives . Maybe that’s just my f-ed up life at work, but it also speaks to your keen insight and the richness of DTWOF’s ongoing narrative. Can’t imagine my life without it!

    So enough chit chat. It’s back to the cartoon mines with you for another 25 years. Chop chop!

  102. kellan says:

    And sorry for the delayed reply; I posted the suggestion right before i went to bed last night.

  103. iara says:

    dzieger, you said it so well!

    What should we have as categories in the classifieds? So far it looks like we have:

    – Employment
    Bounders (or Bunns & Noodle?) looking for people to work part-time, long hours, no-benefits

    – Community notices
    Stuart’s vegan Democrat’s agains weat

    – Personals
    Love the Cat Pimp’s suggestions – we should have lots of these!

    Perhaps we could add a few events and happenings under community notices, like poetry readings, vegan cooking classes at the co-op, etc

    Should there be any other categories, like for sale, real estate?

    AB, I think the classifieds would be an opportunity for more of your fans on this blog to contribute a little tiny bit, even if we don’t have the skill, talent, or the time to do a full article or ad. And, speaking for myself, you don’t have to send books to all of us, the honor of being included is enough.

  104. iara says:

    oh, and i agree that Toni should also be named on the cover – just four letters, should not be hard to squeeze her in.

  105. Kathleen Murphy says:

    I would love to make one of the fake ads! Can I get something to you by Thursday or Friday?

  106. Liza Cowan says:

    Good grief. I just read the fine print. I submitted an ad that doesn’t use strip art. It uses my art. Oh well. Back to the drawing board. (Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be ADD.)

    But my ad was really cool. Alison, maybe you could submit my ad to the *real* La Lentille D’or to use.

  107. Robin B says:

    Alison, the cover is gorgeous and wonderful. Congrats on the book! And I think the collectively-written newspaper is a fantastic idea. The Hive at its best.

    Re: the Rockwell reference (which I love): I’ll weigh in against a “nudge.” It’s OK if people don’t get the reference, because the joke holds up on its own. And there’s a real pleasure in discovering a reference long after the fact. When I first saw the cover of your 1994 calendar, I didn’t get the tip-o-the-nib to Rockwell. Then, years later, I saw “Freedom from Want,” and did a big forehead-smack. And now, I can only see that Rockwell in DTOWF-terms. Talk about lesbian world-remaking.

    By the way, have you ever thought about doing a talk/slide show at the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, MA? Seriously. It’d be awesome.

  108. --MC says:

    Oof! “Split Level” is the one book I don’t have. What street is Madwimmen on? Was Madwimmen on, I mean?

  109. A Caes says:

    Can I write a “new in books” column? Written about the books Bunns ‘n’ Noodle won’t stock, written by Mo.

  110. nic h wales says:

    although the uk has been awake for a few hours Ive only just come on line after being at work all day to all this hard work….. to find all the articles are taken and my missus wont do an ad for me because she has lots of art homework on a deadline to complete, ha well.
    I may just write something and see what happens.

  111. VL says:

    Hmmm…. Let’s see what I can come up with…

  112. Danyell says:

    I would love to do this, but I will probably not follow up on it. But I WILL be buying this book when it comes out. I’ve read as many archives as I could, but I would love to see the early days of the strip more.

  113. cybercita says:

    liza, your photo for the lentille d’or was just gorgeous.

  114. Montrealais says:

    Now I’m going to have to sort through all my Dykes books for good poses for June — unless Alison wants to do an original sketch in a corporate-ad-like “dynamic pose”.

  115. ksbel6 says:

    Does Jerry have an official name from his female days? Or a last name?

  116. yelena says:

    whoops! i also did not read the fine print. i’m going to see what i can find in time…

  117. The Cat Pimp says:

    I think Gerry/Jerry was Geraldine, but I’m at work and don’t have my stash of books.

    BTW – I have to apologize for using “G” instead of “L”. I think that betrays my Kinsey index. 🙂

    I’m hoping my article and the other article about La Lentille D’or can be combined. (I think it can pretty easily.) I liked the history she put in about the Topaz, but mine had the review format. I was delighted to see the same level of snark about the unspeakable dtwof cuisine in hers as in mine.

    Every time I am in Whole Foods, I think of Lois’ tunafish-hijiki-arugula casserole…

  118. deanna says:

    ok, this has brought me out of years of lurkdom. i’ll give the lois drag revue review a go, just cos the thought of actually contributing instead of just reading is tooo exciting. although my complete collection of dtwof books is going to be seriously devalued by the new one 🙂 (which of course i’ll still buy!)

  119. liza Cowan says:

    Deanna et al. Your collection will not be devalued. In fact, in will increase in value over time. Hang on to them all. Future Gold!

  120. Jana C.H. says:

    We can’t use our own art? I’m all prepared to draw Miriam skiing to the rescue of some pregnant woman. The only AB drawing of Miriam on skis shows her just standing there. I think I can fake AB’s style adequately, for one drawing anyway. Maybe I can make two versions, and AB can chooose between them.

    By the way, I’ve given Miriam Irving Berlin’s real last name: I make her Miriam Baline.

    What size will the pages be? I don’t want to end up having the text shrunk too small or the art blown up too much. This is a cartographer’s question: the size of your finished page defines the limits of your universe and constrains all your design decisions.

    Jana C.H.
    Saith Arthur Pinero: Where there is tea there is hope.

  121. liza Cowan says:

    Cybercita, thanks. I love that photo and I’ve never used it for anything before. Those are the spoons I grew up with. Now they’re mine. I think you can see years of family history chewed into them.

  122. The Cat Pimp says:

    Ooh! I’ve got it! Lois’ drag king troupe is Operation Enduring Freedom!

  123. Lea says:

    @ Tom
    You’re right.
    Luckily the original drawing (I have a mouse pad of it) includes her.

  124. Ian says:

    OMG! Personal ads/classifieds! That’s a fantastic way for the people who don’t have as much time to contribute!

  125. Xena Fan says:

    When will the book be released? There’s nothing on about it.

  126. Randee says:

    This is so awesome i lost all of my dtwof books in a storm. 🙁

    I thought i would have to search all over to get all the books again so yeaayyy.

  127. Aletaleta says:

    It’s a mite hard to read, but Maple Avenue Co Op appears to be on the co op window, in the dawn scene after Raffi’s birth (last page of Spawn).

  128. The Cat Pimp says:

    I have a friend who used to live in Northampton, so I think the town should be named Lefthampton. Just sayin’.

  129. Maggie Jochild says:

    Jana, BRILLIANT choice of last name for Miriam, on so many levels.

  130. aletaleta says:

    Been writing some small classifieds that could be considered filler, to be used if needed. But (being an inexperienced leaf in this tornado) I’m not sure how/whether/where to send them. Thanks !

  131. jasmin_sane says:

    I’ve got a few ideas for a pharmacy ad and a couple other ads. Will try to get to them tomorrow sometime; if you’re still taking submissions by then, that is. 😉

  132. LondonBoy says:

    Darn, I so wish I was a creative type ! Still, I’m really enjoying the enthusiasm with which so many people are contributing, and I’m looking forward to seeing the final results. Good luck to all !

  133. Smile says:

    Wish I was creative too…but Ian…way back up there you mentioned the Medusa ad…please be sure to misspell a few words in the ad!!! All I’ve noticed lately in print ads is the larger the company, the worse the spelling.

  134. catherine says:

    In early high school I used to sneak to Border’s and read your books hiding in the children’s reading area; couldn’t bring myself to approach the cash register. My copy of “Hot Throbbing” has a horribly inappropriate and mushy inscription by an ex-girlfriend. Priceless to have the old copies, and all the associated baggage, but it will be wonderful to have everything in a collection. I will try and put something together. How will we submit to you? And, most importantly, how will we get a copy of the Daily Distress when it appears?

  135. Max Bliss says:

    I was going to do an ad for the “toys” at Madwimmen books, but then realized that there will be an article on the store closing, so I plan to do an ad for mail order toys from Lois. I don’t know if it is a problem that this is not true in the strip though (although who knows what Lois get up to).

  136. Susan Dampf says:

    I’d love to put in a classified ad that really could exist.
    GLAMS Gay and Lesbians Against Multiple Sclerosis
    Support Group for GBLT MSers and their partners.
    Contact Thea at Little Heart’s Art Pre School

  137. coffeegyrl says:

    Here’s a personal ad
    40ish lesbian, smoker, meat-eater, just moved to town, looking for non judgmental friends.

  138. Fabian Alvarez says:

    I’m writing from Spain, but I’m sending you a story right now, to prove you have at least one fan there (I have the eleven DTWOF books and Fun Home right here on my bookshelf).

    I’m a contributor to Tim Fish’s YBIL’s Anthology and an e-mail friend to Howard Cruse, so maybe you remember me. I sent you a congratulations e-mail a loong time ago, but I never got a reply. No worries! I still love DTWOF and promote it among my friends.

  139. hetero genus says:

    Fakin’ Bacon is a name for a popular, though expensive (yet delicious tempeh product, might not want to include that particular name (spelling might be different. I don’t have time right now to see if anyone else has suggested this yet, but, what about an advice column? Stuart could be write in about his dilemma about feeling underappreciated in his domestic role, and for his ability to make arbitrary decisions and have the courage of conviction to stand by them and carry through. Jeazanna could be the columnist. Or, give him a column, Recipes for Domestic Bliss, featuring some of his elegant kasha creations. Maybe room for a teen version (for every young heart) with fashion tips by Janis. Cynthia could move into the spot recently vacated by William F. Buckly, jr. for “fair and balanced” conservative commentary. Of course, Jerry could be the ‘Tappit Brothers in one’ with his car expertise called, ‘Driveshaft” or ‘Clank and Crunch’, or Lost Bearings or Lost Rod, etc etc.

  140. hetero genus says:

    Ooh Ooh, wait. Jerry’s regular car column feature could simply be called Ball Barings. That’s it.

  141. Faoladh says:

    Don’t forget about the Topaz!
    This is so exciting!! I can’t wait!

  142. Isabel Gößner says:

    You did give Jezanna a last name: it’s Ramsey.
    At least that is her father’s name.

  143. The Cat Pimp says:

    Community Notice:

    Freedom To Marry Group for committed couples only. New group forming under new leadership. Meets bi-monthly.
    Contact Beth McLaughlin-Farkas 555-8686

  144. Teejay says:

    I’d like to do an ad – and from what I can see no one is taking on the incomprehensible forward-thinking digital commerce business models… that’s a hard one to pick, because after all it is incomprehensible, but hey – I like a challenge!

  145. AndreaC says:

    TeeJay, a couple of people have done the digital mumbo jumbo already, not that that should necessarily stop you from giving your take on it… see the next post with the link to what’s come in already.

  146. The Cat Pimp says:

    Like I said in the other topic – A doggie obedience school ad using the panel where Anubis jumps on Ginger would be good.

    Maybe an ad for the local movieplex with faked up titles/puns?

    I haven’t seen a food co-op one go up yet.

    Yes. I should be working.

    Yes. I am an enabler.

  147. Ian says:

    Cat Pimp – that should be Googol-plex. How ’bout an ad for a lesbian commune or Cafe Topaz? Which reminds me, I think Milkweed Moongarden would clearly be a bisexual professional dominatrix these days and would be advertising her services in the classifieds …

  148. b. says:

    here’s an ad for the classified:

    “dykes with stripes” group meets every tuesday 8 pm at java jones. stripes wearing only.

  149. Vivid Lady says:

    Letitia Sparks would be a good name for the electrician.

  150. Teejay says:

    Thanks Andrea C. I can’t really compete with the digital mumbo jumbo stuff that has already been sent in because it looks great… so I will take a whack at another psychotherapy ad.

  151. The Cat Pimp says:

    One of the adverts has the electrician’s name – a nice homage to Nikola Tesla.

  152. Kelli says:

    Since Alison doesn’t “do” color, I wonder who was responsible for the colorization of the cover. It’s interesting to see.

  153. The Cat Pimp says:

    FYI to see the Normal Rockwell, here’s a link I found

  154. The Cat Pimp says:

    Norman. Sheesh.

    I really should be working.

  155. Teejay says:

    Now I’m obsessed with re-reading strips to find potential ad subjects… so “Video-Rama” is one that I am taking an additional whack at. I really should be working too, but I’d much rather do this!

  156. Fabian Alvarez says:

    The Cat Pimp: That link took me to a picture of a single pixel. 🙂
    This one should be working…

  157. Eli says:

    Just sent in an ad for the GLBTQ Speaker’s Bureau that Janis wants to join. Love the fiery activist impulses of youth and, let’s face it, there’s a lot of work to be done, in schools and elsewhere.

  158. The Cat Pimp says:

    Fabian, it must be the browsers, LOL.

  159. joan headley says:

    Whew! I got my 2 entries in just under the wire before midnight, Friday to your email address. I only just found out about this fun endeavour and started working on it today. What a panic to discover the new due date.(!) Not wind, nor rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor dark of night kept us from driving through the drifts and over the river to the house with the scanner. Hope it all traveled well through cyberspace.

  160. Colino says:

    Ok, for those who might be interested in the Daily Distress online, here’s a forum to get started:

  161. justme says:

    What, no recipes? I’ve been making and enjoying eggplant tostadas ever since Sparrow brought one to Ginger while she was working on her dissertation. I also like making “bran muffins with a buzz,” another Sparrow specialty.

  162. ???????? ?????? ???? ???? says:

    I not understend what U want